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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBUto think this is a disappointing anniversary present

267 replies

RoseandHarry · 21/07/2018 15:03

Me and DH are married 2 years tomorrow. We have 1DS whose 7 months and I'm 8 weeks pregnant. We are off on holidays this evening and a bloody great fruit bouquet has just arrived as my anniversary gift. My DH explained he thought it would be better as we could take it away with us (we are driving) and flowers would get wasted. I'm really disappointed and think it's such an unromantic gift. I'm also dreading driving in a car on holiday with a grizzly baby and a basket full of rotting fruit !!!

OP posts:
BananaHamock · 21/07/2018 17:37

It’s my birthday today. My DH has brought me a tub of pick and mix and a book, brought from Tesco on the way home from work last night. No DC, and nothing much on his plate at the mo, but still couldn’t find the time to make an effort.

nocoolnamesleft · 21/07/2018 17:38

Okay, YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVU because you keep changing your name on your own fucking thread, so doing the "highlighting OP's posts so you can actually see if they've replied" doesn't work.

ememem84 · 21/07/2018 17:39

I sent a fruit basket (a gigantic one) to dh’s work for him one anniversary. We’ve tried so far to stick to the anniversary themes. Fruit/flowers is one, cotton another (I think it’s second year - I bought beach towels). This year is copper/wool. I’ve bought him a waveform print in copper of our first dance song.

I’d love a fruit basket though.

noeffingidea · 21/07/2018 17:40

If you're disappointed then you're disappointed. The thing is though, you can't really expect some one else to be able to guess exactly what you want, no matter how close they are to you. You either should tell him what you do want (you could give him a list so he can choose one thing) or be prepared to be surprised by something you didn't really want.
I can see the logic behind his choice, but obviously he got it wrong.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 21/07/2018 17:43

Nothisispatrick

OP has answered loads of times what she got him. why can so many not read the thread? Yes she's namedchanged but no that hard to figure out!

Because some people, me included only read the posts from the OP which are highlighted in one colour, because the OP had NC 3 times it didn't show up and people missed that she'd posted what she got her DH!

seven201 · 21/07/2018 17:48

I'd be annoyed my dh had wasted £50. But then we tend to just give each other a card if we remember.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 21/07/2018 17:51

Can't you just agree to have a meal out together for future anniversaries (if there are any more after the great fruit faux pas of 2018)? A much better way to spend the money imo as you get time together which is precious for most people with children. Also, you decided to note the cost of the gift and the fact you're on maternity pay. If it's caused you financial hardship you should have chosen something cheaper. Like a pineapple or something Grin

MyNameIsNotSteven · 21/07/2018 17:52

What did you get for your DH OP? Grin

If it was a designed bouquet like the pics YABreallyU. They look great and they're not just groceries as people keep pointing out (by the same token, isn't the MICHELIN STARRED lunch just food?

Rebecca36 · 21/07/2018 17:53

I think it's a lovely present.

Rebecca36 · 21/07/2018 17:53

What did you buy for him?

LoniceraJaponica · 21/07/2018 17:55

Why not agree not to bother with gifts in future. OH and I agreed not to exchange gifts and cards. We just go out for a meal instead.

ilovesooty · 21/07/2018 17:57

Since you're suffering so terribly from disappointment you'd better tell him to ensure he doesn't disappoint you again I suppose.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 21/07/2018 17:57

Ah I see what the problem is. Tiffany earrings were a hit, imo they don't show any more thought than a fruit basket unless you had mentioned them previously. The photos you didn't like tho, I'm guessing because they weren't tiffany earrings.

Candyflip · 21/07/2018 17:57

He seems quite a thoughtful gift buyer, I personally don’t particularly like fruit, but I place more emphasis on thought than anything else. You seem to place more emphasis on monetary value though. You are disparaging about photos that clearly are meaningful to him and his thoughts about your relationship, but you are thrilled with Tiffany earrings —which are lazy airport gifts for spoilt teenagers—

Original poster
RoseandHarry · 21/07/2018 17:58

I'm so so sorry but for some reason MN keeps name changing me!!! I got us a voucher for a posh lunch. @WaterOffaDucksCrack that did make me lol about the pineapples 🍍!

OP posts:
ShackUp · 21/07/2018 18:04

Tiffany earrings? Okay, I get it, these things matter to you. Be grateful you're all healthy and happy and don't sweat the teeny tiny stuff, like buying shit.

reallybadidea · 21/07/2018 18:04

Well you didn't exactly go to great effort with your present either, did you?

Eliza9917 · 21/07/2018 18:08

I wouldn't be happy if DP gave me that. Just because £50 on fruit is fucking ridiculous. He'd never waste money like that anyway, he'd buy something proper, but we tend to do 'experiences' instead of 'gifts' like weekends away, meals our, day trips etc.

clicketyclick66 · 21/07/2018 18:08

Maybe I'm in the minority, but my dh knows never to get me a present for my birthday, Christmas or our anniversary - I just don't want any! If I want something I'll buy it myself. We might go out for dinner with the children, this is what i will enjoy.

Original poster
RoseandHarry · 21/07/2018 18:09

The thought behind mine was to create a bit of 'us' time as with a baby and one on the way there's not much time for that anymore

OP posts:
MyMagicStars · 21/07/2018 18:13

I'd love that, sounds really thoughtful. Good chance to get baby (if old enough) trying some fruit too!

CoolCarrie · 21/07/2018 18:15

You are definitely BU. I think that’s a lovely gift, and at least he remembered!

TellsEveryoneRealFacts · 21/07/2018 18:18

The thought behind mine was to create a bit of 'us' time as with a baby and one on the way there's not much time for that anymore

I'm sure you can both have half a banana together when you stop at the services - romantic.

clicketyclick66 · 21/07/2018 18:22

I'll tell you about my mum and dad. My dad always bought her jewellery for her birthday or Christmas. She would fake a smile and tell him it was beautiful, but my aunts and I would hear about how the last thing she wanted was another feckin bracelet and how her neck could only hold so many bloody gold chains!
She spent one November/December explaining how useful a dishwasher is (loads of times!!), she still got more jewellery! Same with when she wanted an automatic washing machine...
My aunt finally came up with a great solution. As men don't 'get' hints, you have to tell them direct. Insist on going out for a few drinks, let him have his pints - when he finishes his second point, go for the kill and ask for what what you want. It worked!

lovelyjubilly · 21/07/2018 18:22

It was our ten year anniversary last year and I got nothing. I was a bit disappointed but I love him all the same. Stop complaining OP.

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