To complain about TA comment

[dungandbother]

Dd was told off by a (strict) TA to untuck her PE T-shirt because it didn't look right.

I am outraged that she would comment on the appearance of a child and how they choose to wear their PE kit.
Yr 6 if it matters.

DD always tucks her shirt in because she doesn't like the feel of the waistband on her skin - no matter which uniform she's wearing.

Should I write and complain ?

But it doesn't matter. Whether the TA was right or not, or what exactly was said. Learning how to deal with it does matter.

@MsBagelLady
'Telling a girl she doesn't look right could lead to problems.'
But it shouldn't do. That's the problem with babying children. We need to teach them resilience, so that when they do get criticised for something minor, they can handle it.

You say if someone commented in your appearance you would tell them to ‘f&ck off’. Lovely.

You child needs to learn to take instruction from authority, not go running to mummy. And then mummy gets all aggressive because snowflake is upset.

Grow up. It’s a non issue.

God help your daughter when she goes to secondary school and they don’t baby them (or entertain over protective mothers).

Alert the governors! IMMEDIATELY!

It's not bullying. And it wouldn't be bullying if a child said it.

FFS. Get a grip!

Definition of Hyperbole:

Mum start a post on MN stating: TA said to my dauighter "Your t-shirt being tucked in doesn't look right, untuck it please!"

...a few minute later....

Mum replies to post on MN stating " TA ACCUSED MY DAUGHTER OF NOT LOOKING RIGHT!!!!"

She wasn't being unprofessional either.

Honestly. I swear people look to be offended over every little thing!

bewareofdragons

I can't believe you just SWORE AT ME

'I do laugh about how many folk pile in on Aibu'
Rather than think 'oh, the response from lots of different people is fairly unanimous that I am being unreasonable, maybe I am then' .
You're can't take criticism, and ergo, neither can your daughter, quelle surprise.

arethereanyleftatall I disagree and believe that it should be the other way around, instead of teaching our children to be 'more resilient' teach them not to criticise instead.

Ok so DD came home and told you this tale of woe....why didn't you just say 'what a pile of nonsense, at least you won't see her next year...what shall we have for dinner?'

Except life throws things at you that you can't control. Life is not always kind. And it is better if you are resilient enough to cope with that.

Quickly claim your 'free half-hour' at the solicitors!

I don't think you should make a formal complaint but depending on what happened it would be fair to bring it up. Was your daughter told to untuck or actually told off? Is there a rule that it must be untucked? If she was told off just because the TA prefers it a different way then yes that was unfair and you could mention it if your DD was upset by it. Perhaps they should clarify if there is a standard way to wear it (I know there isn't in my DS's school and this is a good thing as lots of kids are sensitive to the feel of uniform and can find ways of making it more comfortable for themselves.

it might be worth having a word but I'd be more inclined to teach my kids how to deal with fuckwits - they're going to meet plenty throughout their lives!

@MsBagelLady
Or teach both those things. Don't criticise others, and don't worry too much if someone criticises you; have confidence in yourself.

She called her out sharply

Were you present to be able to know it was sharply? I find that an odd word for an 11 year old to use in this situation.

I do also think AIBU is a hot bed for people who like to criticise so rather than offer constructive help.

If you’re considering a complaint, you should first of all find out precisely what was said, before you make any accusation of unprofessional conduct and what tone of voice was used.

I’m struggling to see what was unprofessional personally. I’d also consider whether having a t shirt tucked in is a) perfectly turned out and b) worth the bother of commenting on it.

You do that OP > sigh

I just read four pages to see if it turned out to be a joke....

I am outraged that she would comment on the appearance of a child and how they choose to wear their PE kit.

She doesn't get a choice in how to wear her PE kit, it's uniform and she needs to wear it appropriately.

Let it go...she leaves the school this week anyway. Look forward to Y7 instead.

if you bring this up with the teacher you are a very unpleasant woman and will be teaching your daughter how to be both precious and unpleasant. To even contemplate trying to get the TA in trouble about this is plain nasty.

This can't be real ????

Are teachers allowed to address children at all nowadays? If everyone complained about the least triviality there would be a queue a mile long outside the school. Just let this one go, the teacher has hardly ruined your child's life by asking her to untuck her t shirt.