To think chivalry is dead?

[CrispyBanger]

Got the train home today from London at rush hour. It was packed, not a spare seat to be had. At the front of the train there are always a few unreserved seats, including 3 sets of priority seating and 2 tables. I sat in a priority seat. Of the other priority seats, 3 were taken by men with a further 7 men in the table seats.

Obviously pregnant lady (with a baby on board badge for extra measure) got on and stood in the aisle as it was so packed. I looked around expecting someone i.e. a man to offer their seat but no one did. I stood up and she took my seat.

Now, obviously there's a slim chance that the other people in the priority seating had non-visible seating needs but it's unlikely they all did. Am I showing my age or is it no longer the done thing to offer a seat to the elderly/pregnant ladies etc?

Incidentally, when I stood in the aisle a man sat at the table offered me his seat . So he didn't feel like he should offer it to a heavily pregnant lady but he did to a an obviously non pregnant lady?

I guess your shoe comment confirms that when you both go out for the evening, he drives.

Sorry Looking, I’m afraid he always does the driving too . But please, we are nice people.

I can’t think of any couples we know where she would drive to be honest, so I grant you you may have a point there.

You dont know any couple where the wife would drive, if they were both in the car?

None no, unless the DH was drunk maybe? DH would not go over the limit. I’ve never seen him appear as drunk, so it’s hard to say.

You can be over the limit and not drunk. Although I am sure that's not what you are getting at.

Why do the women in your circle never drive?

Short - I do drive all the time, but if DH is coming he’ll drive. I give you, I had never really considered this as a “thing”. I do think it’s a very common habit for most couples though.
No doubt you’ll tell me it not .

I could let bf drive. We wouldn’t get very far though

Honestly in my circle (social, family, work) women drive as much as men.

I usually drive if we are doing a work trip.

My grandparents are the last generation I know who did this. If my grandparents were alive they would be 90. Exdh grandparents did the same. They would 95 plus, if they were with us.

My parents, both drive. Dad does drive more than mum, but mum's disabled and gets tired easily, so it's not always best for her to drive. But before she got ill, she did loads of driving. My parents are 64.

My current Dp only has a motorbike license. Which is great and he drives us a lot. But if we need the car, I have to drive because he doesn't have a car license.

My exh drove and we used to drive equally. I just find it odd that driving is a 'men' thing in your circle, when you are both in the car. Why is that?

In our house, whoever grabs the keys, drives. Although I probably drive more than DH.

Do you not think it interesting that I asked that? Does it not stop and make you think about the little every day things that suggest an imbalance in your relationship? And I’m amazed that you don’t know any couples where it’s any different Yet you’re both in only in your 40s! I am 47 and DH is 45 and the only people I know like that are in their 60s at least.

In fact probably more like 70+

I do think about “little things” as you say, though I admit I’d never really given the driving thing much thought. You are making us sound old! But genuinely, I don’t know anybody who does it differently. Most of the women I know are confident and competent, so it’s not that.

Vashna I'm guessing your husband is tall with lovely broad manly shoulders.

Be.Still.My Galloping Fanny Beating. Heart

Are you on the wine again Francine? He’s still fairly fit in his upper 40s if you like the slightly Arabic look?

Of course most of the women you know are confident and competent. That’s the point most posters are trying to get across.

But it also begs the obvious question which is why do you and all the women you know allow yourselves to fall into this rabbit hole where the bottom of the slide is the 1950s?
20years before any of you were born!

Did he give your father four camels in exchange for you?

Vashna
*....you must have noticed that it’s more difficult to get in and out of cars in heels..."

Birkenstocks.

Just sayin'

No camels, but In the early days he did acquire new chickens for him in an attempt to win favour.

I’ve never perceived myself to be in a rabbit hole, Looking.

...and yet you don’t know any woman in your social circle, all by your own admission reasonably young, confident and competent, who drive the car when their husband is in it rather than allowing him to drive.

I am older than you yet I’m finding what you’re saying to be completely outside my realms of experience either within my own marriage or those of my friends.

High heels make me feel feminine and sexy. They elongate my calves and hold my feet in the form they take when I have an organism. Men like that. I will get bunions but hey ho. By the time I get bunions my man will have moved on to softer, smoother, unbuniony feet. By then I won't give a shit and become a feminismist.

When my man opens a car door for me it reminds me that he is my protector and provider. This is what I have prepared for - all me livin' life. The pinnacle was when put a ring on it to show the world that ownership of me had passed from darling daddy to darling hubby. Then darling daddy actually gave me away.

It was my special day. I felt like a princess. I still do - whenever he protects me and nurtures me. I love it.

He is strong. I am weak. In my heart and in my veins runs the truth that for 99.999% of our evolutionary history, men hunted and women gathered. When I am fulfilling my ultimate purpose - being the sacred vessel for the next generation - I am vulnerable and need protection and looking after. I need protein. My man goes out each day so that I get meat.

Meat GOOD.

I need a hero!

I need a hero that's fresh from the fight. He's gotta be strong, he's gotta be something and he's gotta be FRIENDS WITH THE NIGHT.

You need ice to go with that G&T you've been on ;-)

Chivalry ended when feminist stopped it.

I need a hero that's fresh from the fight. He's gotta be strong, he's gotta be something and he's gotta be FRIENDS WITH THE NIGHT.

Jeremy Renner's on the telly on MI4 at the moment. Would he do? I bet he'd open a car door. He'd probably put a cloak over a puddle as well.