Aibu to stop being a full time carer and walk away?

[dooodoooo]

Been caring for my grandad for 10 years now.
He has 2 daughters,one lives the next street over and the other in America.
Haven't seen daughter 1 (local ) in 7 months and daughter 2 in 3 years.
My mum died when I was 12 (grandads daughter)
At first it started just getting the shopping and now 10 years later I'm here from 7am to 6pm every day.
I've told my aunt (in January ) I couldn't cope anymore and we need help.
She still hasn't came to sort it (she has power of attorney and bank books)
I have zero life ..nothing.
Nobody
This is my life...
Aunt 2 (in America ) used to ring 3 x a week,now we are lucky if it's once per week.
Eventually both aunts won't keep in touch.
I've had to start taking anti depressants and I'm getting pretty scared to leave the house.
I'm stressed really bad
I'm so close to just leaving

You shoulden't be making that choice, your Aunts should. Tell them that they have 48 hours to come and deal with grandad, or you are done with caring and he is on his own.

If you have a breakdown or become ill through being run down and worn out, who would care for him then? You must start putting yourself first. I know you love him, but if he was in a home he would be getting care from professionals, leaving you to live a fuller life. Don't feel guilty, you've done way more than your share and his daughters should be totally ashamed of themselves.

Thanks everyone for all your words of kindness.
Got so many thoughts going through my head at the minute.
I have lots of things to decide in a short space of time.
Grandad was still having hallucinations today ..seeing women stealing his coats.

Meeting a friend tonight at half 8,very excited for this,haven't really seen my friends in a couple of months...going to see the new mamma Mia movie,she's asked if I fancy a couple friends of cocktails ...it is tempting.

Have a lovely, lovely evening dooo, I can't think of anyone who deserves it more

And please do remember that it is not your responsibility to make that choice, that is the responsibility of your aunts. They are next of kin and/or Power of Attorney. You just need to get the ball rolling so that your grandad receives alternative care and you have a very well-earned rest before you become more ill.

I don't think Grandad is getting proper care. You are absolutely doing your best but you aren't a doctor. Perhaps if he was admitted to a hospital or care home they could give him medication to stop the hallucinations and anxiety.
Perhaps that would be better for him.
My DB has medication for Parkinsons which has vivid dreams as a symptom. But the medication stops that.

Have a lovely time, and go for it.

You have a cocktail you deserve it for all you do!

Please get a doctor or ambulance crew to see your lovely grandad, he does need a proper medical assessment. Have a fun time tonight.

Enjoy your evening out!

OP I have actually RTFT, and I felt i just had to post. I have very recently had to ring Social Services for my mum after it became clear she was struggling at home as she lived alone, she has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's. I called on a Monday she had an assessment with SS a week on the Wednesday. Carers were in place for the following Monday. She had some adaptations in the home, alarm system and some specialised equipment all within a week. I have to say they were very good with my mum. I had to point out to SS she was a vulnerable adult, she lives alone and was at risk. I have 3 siblings (although 1 not local to us) and we could not manage, so I do not know how you have coped alone for 10 years. You have been amazing and done a wonderful job for your grandad.
Now it's time though for his daughter's to take over and for you to regain your life. I completely understand that you do not want to let your grandad down but please ring SS back tell them you are in crisis - your grandad has safeguarding issues, you have to use these words. Please tell them you are not in good health. But most importantly tell them your granddad has 2 daughters, his next of kin and Power of Attorney. Give SS their details obviously his local daughter will take priority. Tell them to.contact his local daughter. And tell your aunts that on X date (I would give a week) you are no longer grandads carer and SS will be in touch. Please please do this. It feels like you're failing your relative by involving SS (that's how i felt) but in reality it is in their best interests for their own safety and security. Good luck OP

Contact Social Services to go and assess your grandad, tell them he needs PAID carers from a care agency, ask if SS can arrange it.

How is grandad.