AIBU to ask for your best constipation cures?

[sureitsgrand]

I know It's not an AIBU, but, traffic and urgency....I'm in need! Anyone got any top mn quick cure for constipation that I've missed? Can't take laxatives as am bfing, so hit me with best natural remedies. No prunes in the house and can't get to a shop till this evening. Thanks in advance!

Pints and pints of water. Sorry to be crude but if you do manage and it gets stuck you can use Vaseline on your anus and it will help.

Smints! Lots of smints.

Seriously, Movicol/Laxido (2 brands of the same thing, Laxido usually cheaper) are the best thing for constipation, and are fine when breast feeding, as you don't absorb them from your gut.

And you can buy them over the counter at pharmacies.

Slightly overripe pears
Magnesium tablets
Hundreds (the Pilates exercise)
Instant coffee
A very brisk uphill walk
Abdominal massage (right to left following the line of the colon)
Chilli sauce
If all else fails, enemas

Coconut ice - works like a dream!

Also glycerine suppositories - better to use one than to strain and cause piles.

Shit tonnes of Jamaican ginger cake and 2 senokot tablets before bed.

@BettyBooHoo there's nothing in a McDonald's milkshake that would make you shit unless you're sensitive to the ingredients. Same with the burgers.

www.mcdonalds.com/gb/en-gb/product/chocolate-milkshake-medium.html

It's basically a dairy base with sugar and chocolate powder.

time,
fruit
coffee

swimming in the sea
mackeral

coffee shop latte... no idea why but that always works for me. Failing that some sort of aerobic exercise. Lots of water.

Skimmed milk (yes really) & chocolate

Dunno about quick fixes but generally I'd say that loads of water, fruit/veg, and walking (10km per day often recommended) should be enough to ensure you almost never have to think about your bowels, it should just happen.

Fag and a coffee.

You're welcome!

Kefir.

Poo tea sold sometimes as "slim tea". Active ingredient senna leaf. Drink at night. In the morning - poo.

2 slices of this every day (it's yummy) will get you regular.

www.sbs.com.au/food/recipes/life-changing-loaf-bread

A litre of pineapple juice did it for me .... although it wasn't planned ... good job I was home!

Chocolate from Aldi that is sweetened with Stevia. Holy cow that brings on mount vesuvius.

Was gunna suggest black coffee and anal but I can see theyve already been mentioned!

I recommend linseed in your porridge or cereal. Oh and apricots.
Sit with your knees up
Plenty of water and exercise and as others have said osmotic laxatives