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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - wasteful husband in holiday

157 replies

trinity0097 · 18/07/2018 06:29

We are in holiday, only DH has got drinks. At breakfast everything is a buffet, other than hot drinks, which they take an order for at the table. He always just asks for coffee. They bring a flask of coffee and a jug of milk. He only ever has black coffee. The milk goes to waste. He gets annoyed if I asked him to only ask for black coffee so that they don’t waste the jug of milk.

Am I being unreasonable, after 9 days to be able to expect him to do this, rather than me having to intervene and ask for black coffee only? He only has to say ‘black coffee please’ rather than ‘coffee please’ - it’s not onerous!

OP posts:
Iseveryusernametaken · 19/07/2018 20:23

We truly are a throwaway society aren't we. It is wasteful and clearly a sign of the times that nobody commenting has ever had to do without. My parents were post 2ww babies who were born into rationing and are horrified by food waste. I was brought up that it was wrong to waste and only take what I actually wanted and not be greedy. What if everyone that had coffee discarded a pint of milk? If you don't want it, say you don't and they take it back.

Tbh, I think I'd stand up and drink the jug of milk to make a point. If he can't ask them to take milk away, this would be mortifying 😂

HoardingQueen · 19/07/2018 20:37

You are his wife not parent and on holiday...chill out and enjoy your time together instead of obsessing about milk, some people are not fortunate enough to be able to have a holiday so stop moaning and have a good time, life is too short . I don't like waste either, but would rather have a good time on my holiday with my partner rather than being in conflict about sod all....

SoapOnARoap · 19/07/2018 20:41

It’s his holiday as well. Are you always like this with him?

Touchmybum · 19/07/2018 23:51

Wise the fuck up!

BadLad · 20/07/2018 04:42

I've only skimmed this thread, but I'd be cheesed off as well. How dairy do this. How dare he.

Teacher22 · 20/07/2018 05:23

I am a bit of a control freak and somewhat OCD and, yes, the waste of the milk would bother me. Or rather, the having to point out it’s a waste every, single time would have bothered me once.

Over the decades I have learnt that my DH would remember if the issue were to do with ‘ man things’ like maps or logistics or who owned the company which produced the milk but not if it were something like how much water to put in the teapot when making the tea. There are things my DH has ‘forgotten’ to do right every single time over decades.

I should try to get over it as I bet your DH is fine in other respects. He doesn’t beat you or the kids, does he?

BackBoiler · 20/07/2018 06:06

If I was in holiday I would be too busy enjoying myself rather than posting on Munsnet about milk that comes with coffee.

Yes by all means people post online whilst they are away etc but did you know that posting online costs money and resources too so just think how much more waste you are contributing to your DH's milk wasting issue Wink

Relax

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 20/07/2018 06:20

YANBU, a calf would have been taken from his mother at birth to produce that milk, plus all of the farmer’s work to take care of the cows and calves.
I wouldn’t think it complies with good hygiene practice to reuse milk that has been out of the fridge and put on a table, I doubt good restaurants take the risk to make their customers sick.

Iseveryusernametaken · 20/07/2018 06:35

I think everyone that thinks it's okay should put this situation into a different context. What if your husband, of your children, or you for that matter went to your fridge at home, took out 2 pints of perfectly good milk, left it on the side for half an hour and then poured it down the sink. Would that be okay? How is it different?

speakout · 20/07/2018 06:47

Op do you eat every things that is served to you?
Every morsel on your plate?

00100001 · 20/07/2018 06:51

Log it with 101

TheLastNigel · 20/07/2018 06:53

Have my first LTB

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 20/07/2018 07:02

Other people are so damn pesky, aren't they? It's so obvious how everything should be done: your way. But people persist in having their own way of living life, their own attitudes, values and beliefs - that is so unreasonable of them. OP, you need to write a book called "How things should be done" and insist that your husband and children memorize it thoroughly and adhere to it totally. Next, force your colleagues at work, your neighbours, your friends and the rest of your family to do likewise. With a bit of persistence you will surely end up finding the world a far more pleasant place to live in.

Shortstuff08 · 20/07/2018 07:10

I think everyone that thinks it's okay should put this situation into a different context. What if your husband, of your children, or you for that matter went to your fridge at home, took out 2 pints of perfectly good milk, left it on the side for half an hour and then poured it down the sink. Would that be okay? How is it different?

Firstly it's not 2 pints. Even over the 9 days, it's probably not ok.

Secondly, if the OP was so upset about waste in general, she wouldn't be on an all inclusive holiday.

If so did as you said there would be a few different things. Is there anymore milk? If not I would be annoyed his actions had impacted me and the kids. In the ops case it hasn't impacted her or the kids.

Assuming there is more milk, I would ask him why? If he said he felt it was off, I would tell him to get a grip and if he feels so cautious of milk then he needs to put it away.

If there was no more milk I would tell him to pick me up a paper while he is getting more milk for the kids.

Iseveryusernametaken · 20/07/2018 07:20

Shortstuff08

I referenced the 2 pints from earlier in the thread. It's still a complete waste and the attitudes above highlight the attitudes that have developed over the last 70 years that have resulted in pollution and the plastic crisis etc. When people start realising that it's the culmination of all of the little things that we waste we might actually have a hope of solving the problems. The 'I'm alright Jack' attitude is fine when you're okay, but what about when you're not.

I'm sure those in the UK will value things like milk when Brexit kicks in and the price of food quadruples.

Shortstuff08 · 20/07/2018 07:22

I'm sure those in the UK will value things like milk when Brexit kicks in and the price of food quadruples.

I love how you shoe horned Brexit in there. Very funny.

Again, if the ops issue was that she really didn't like any waste, she would be on an all inclusive holiday. That's not her issue.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 20/07/2018 07:24

This in itself wouldn’t annoy me overly... but I see your point.

My DH is incredibly wasteful and it hugely annoys me. He has to have his coffee in a takeaway cup as it “stays hotter longer”, even when we sit in.

Often just bins stuff he can’t be arsed recycling. Will take one bite out a biscuit and leave it.

It really annoys me!!! But I gave given up nagging and seeth for the sake of a happy life

RJnomore1 · 20/07/2018 07:40

Isn't there still a massive milk surplus?

It's not the resource that would annoy me most to see not used.

roundaboutthetown · 20/07/2018 07:51

RJnomore1 - what decade are you living in?!!! There's a milk shortage worldwide.

BlueCardOnAShelf · 20/07/2018 08:17

I'm.on hol in a hotel and wasn't arsed about going down for breakfast yet...this threads making me want to go down

RJnomore1 · 20/07/2018 09:01

Hmm a very quick google suggests there are gallons and gallons of unused milk in Europe being turned into cheese.

Thats business news articles from June/July 2018.

BadLad · 20/07/2018 09:17

this threads making me want to go down

Saucy

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/07/2018 09:39

I thought the milk shortage was due to more of it being turned into cream and cheese, possibly partly due to increased demand in countries that haven't traditionally consumed a lot of dairy products.

stayathomer · 20/07/2018 10:37

I'd say order his coffee for him! Say it in a nice way 'you sit down I'll get you a coffee' and then it's a win win;) To everyone saying for goodness sake it's a tiny thing, the tiny things cane be the most annoying things and when sorted out the biggest things don't seem so bad!!!

BootsMagoots · 20/07/2018 10:52

Just chill. This is such a minor, non-issue. Enjoy your holiday.