AIBU - wasteful husband in holiday

[trinity0097]

We are in holiday, only DH has got drinks. At breakfast everything is a buffet, other than hot drinks, which they take an order for at the table. He always just asks for coffee. They bring a flask of coffee and a jug of milk. He only ever has black coffee. The milk goes to waste. He gets annoyed if I asked him to only ask for black coffee so that they don’t waste the jug of milk.

Am I being unreasonable, after 9 days to be able to expect him to do this, rather than me having to intervene and ask for black coffee only? He only has to say ‘black coffee please’ rather than ‘coffee please’ - it’s not onerous!

The OP's DH probably won't, but the OP is not being unreasonable to dislike waste. So I think the OP should intervene.

You would despair at my dcs. We go all inclusive and if they pick something they don't like they leave it and get something else!

If my DP nagged me every morning about a little pot of milk after 9 days I’d probably be doing it deliberately. What a non issue

God your holiday sounds joyous not

First thing in the morning my DH would be lucky if I even noticed he was at the table with me, let alone calculating his drinks order. I don't function until after my 2nd cup of coffee.

I'm with you OP. I don't see why he wouldn't want to stop wasting milk by adding one word to his order. Nothing to do with being on holiday - he should get used to doing this back at home too.

Itchytights Wed 18-Jul-18 07:14:38

*FFS.

Really????

You must having some shit holiday to actually write a post about this non issue on Mn.

Go and have a shag. You’ll feel better grin*

Exactly my thoughts.

If you're like this on holiday, what are you like at home?

Won’t somebody think of the cows?

Might not be a waste to most of the people on this thread but ffs.

Just use the milk for your cornflakes/cereal or drink it neat- that's what we do. Hope that's the only issue that's bothering you!

You're not used to spending this much 'quality' time together, are you OP.

Genius, dailygrowl!

Pour the milk on your cereal and bob's your uncle!

I wonder what the OP's dh has done this morning... I'm suspecting that the OP's eye is now on the superfluous pat of butter on the side of his toast plate...

OP, I understand. I hate food waste.

It particularly grates on me when I am in a Country were I know people, particularly Women and children are going hungry.

I didn't understand how people could behave the way they did on AI's in North Africa and then make the remarks about poverty/hunger, being of no concern to them.

It's the reason why I don't want to visit India.

If you would allow your children to take a taste then put the whole meal in the bin at home, then fair enough, but it would be nice to apply a bit of ethics to daily living. It would improve things for everyone. I think that we should be more conscious on a AI, because there is enough waste with the plastic cups and we are using water sources that takes from the local environment etc.

I agree with you Birdsgottafly - conspicuous waste and conspicuous luxury for tourists in a place that is otherwise poor and where many go hungry is just plain wrong. I don't believe in the trickle down effect either.

It's hard to avoid a certain amount of waste with small children, when parents are urged to offer a variety of food, to allow children to taste and not to force them to clean their plates. You cook a certain amount of food, your children turn their noses up at it for whatever reason, and you are left with almost an entire evening's dinner for just you and maybe your H to have for the next four days, and meanwhile you try something else for the children the next day, that might also end up not eaten. Some children are maddeningly picky. Food gets thrown out because after a certain point your freezer cannot hold any more leftovers, some leftovers don't freeze well, and you don't want to risk food poisoning. I was brought up in a 'waste not, want not' home and it genuinely bothered me to see my DCs knocking food off the high chair tray, smushing it up and rubbing it in their hair, eating two bites of a meal and wanting to get up and play, but by the same token I was not going to force anyone to finish a reasonable amount of food, or wheedle, or play airplane. I don't think it does the poor any good to make my child eat their toast and jam - solutions to the deep rooted problems of sexism and lack of infrastructure abroad (and even to problems at home) have to be found on a different plane.

But nagging is also wrong. It is very corrosive to a relationship. 'Intervening' with a grown man ordering his breakfast is really not on. Relationship breakdown causes all sorts of issues in society (poverty, health issues) and even in the environment, though that is stretching a point a bit.

If the OP is concerned about waste, then maybe she could choose a self catering holiday instead of all-in next time, at home, so no jet fuel will be involved and she will be supporting a local economy.

100% agree, mathsanxiety.

It is seriously odd to fly to an AI holiday where terrific waste abounds, and then complain about a thimbleful of milk.

Far better to think, “This type of holiday is unethical and I won’t do it again” than spoil a holiday rowing with the dh whose sin really is on the minor side of minor.

Agree with PP. Must be a shit holiday if you're posting on mn in the middle of it!

Get some perspective fgs! 🙄

That would annoy me. It's a gratuitous waste. Lots of places ask if you want milk and I kick myself if they don't and I forget and it arrives - just seems such a waste and putting milk in coffee is disgusting anyway.

Sounds like he is truly pissed off with you, so is being very obstinate

Let him order his "coffee". When it arrives, send the milk back. Simples.

By the way, this does seem very passive aggressive

stealth boast because of long holiday? 9 days already, wow.
If I had a long holiday I wouldn't think of Mnet.
had one week holiday last week, didn't look at phone once apart to check if dh had called
Maybe a solution for next time take the kids and leave him at home.

Mine at home due to work, not that we don't get on

Relax and enjoy your time together you lucky things!

Sorry to say this but perhaps, just may be, there is a deeper underlying issue between you here if something so small is bugging you so much AND he is not hearing you either deliberately or making a point about being nagged and/or feeling controlled?

For what it is worth I think you have got to let it go but first talk to one another. Hopefully you can end up having a laugh about it but maybe become closer especially if you explain to him how you really feel? Could be the making of the hols for you both if it brings you closer!
Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Going All Inclusive means that the local restaurants and bars don't get the tourist trade that they might rely on plus you just get a homogenized "this could be anywhere" holiday.

If all you've seen of the country is the view from the transfer coach before you enter the hotel grounds for 2 weeks then you might just have well google mapped it from home.

Your on holiday. Unclench

I agree with you OP.
Why take something just to waste it.
This is a easy come easy go wasteful attitude - like many of the posters on here.

Crying over spilt milk comes to mind...