To be topless around the kids pool?

[WaitrosePigeon]

Backstory...

On holiday at an all inclusive hotel with kids club etc. Got some tan lines from my bikini so this afternoon took the bikini top off to try and sort them out. DH comes over and says it is inappropriate near the kids pool. I said that he had his top off so why couldn’t I. He said because I was female.

I didn’t put the bikini top back on but is it inappropriate? It’s just boobs?

I'm with Koko

I take the view that where a man can be topless, so can a woman. Plenty of places where men should cover up.

The biggest concern the OP should have is being photographed- camera phones seem to have reduced topless sunbathing.

21, we are waiting to leave at the moment so that’s why I’m on. Had a lovely holiday though. It’s been 30 degrees most days and I’ve stuffed my face. Hate going back home!

When I was on holiday last month , a woman was topless by the pool my kids were there it didn't bother them and it certainly didn't bother me

Absolutely don’t care about being photographed. Doesn’t even enter my head!

"Like it or not breasts are sexualised..."

Yes and how do we get away this cultural taboo that is imposed upon women? Oh I know, how about more women feel comfortable enough to be able to sunbathe topless without being told off by other women, so that eventually (as it is in other countries) the sight of a woman's breasts on the beach or by the pool doesn't provoke such prurient responses.

The OP isn't walking down a street topless for goodness sake, she is in precisely the venue where being topless is okay IMO.

Isn't it messed up that it's perfectly acceptable to wear bikinis which if we are being honest, the point of which being to show off the 'goods" to a flattering degree and therefore make us look sexually attractive (unless you're all out there sensible full coverage boring speedo suits a la school swimming lessons in the 80's), yet an actual bit of flesh is indecent! Speaking personally I'm more likely to be given some attention in a bikini as opposed to topless since my boobs desperately need the uplift of a bikini top!

Speaking of Taboo.

I think it’s very inappropriate and rightly or wrongly I would negatively judge a woman who would do this, I don’t know anyone who would have their breasts hanging out in front of other people’s children.

However, I wouldn’t say anything as I appreciate my view and personal opinion just differs from yours which is fine.

Why should we get away from the taboo? As long as it doesn't extend to breastfeeding there's no harm in people not parading themselves where they think it might bother people.

There are all sorts of things you could say "should be fine" that you don't do because it would make someone else a little uncomfortable.

I think it depends - if you were just lying down with them out then I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. If you were sitting up for prolonged periods of time, walking around or getting in the kids pool then i’d find it a bit inappropriate. I fully accept that I can be a bit of a prude though

Why would you describe it as parading, Une?

Put them away! Completely inappropriate. Can't believe you even have to ask.

Mary, when you say judge, what exactly do are you judging? Me as a person? I don’t understand what judge means. What conclusion do you come to?

Yabu.

I'd find it odd. Boobs are just boobs, however if you walked down the street with then out you'd be arrested.

Round a kids pool, I wouldn’t. Yes, they’re only boobs but we don’t get them out in the street here, yet people seem to think it doesn’t matter when abroad.

Nudist beach or quiet beach, sure.

Clary, I’ve never seen any female in the U.K. walk down the street topless. They do it here in Ibiza though, and they don’t get arrested.

Blimey I'm shocked at these responses. We go to the same beach in Spain every year (family apartment there, not because we're too horing to go different places!). The beach is full of families and I would say 90% of the women go topless, about 10% of those are naked. Many of them are elderly grandmothers with their families, some are teenage, and every age in between. Nobody bats an eyelid.

"Why should we get away from the taboo?"

For one thing it's not a taboo in many European nations and while the OP doesn't state what country she is in, for the purpose of this debate I will assume she is someone where this is not a problem. I wouldn't expect her to be topless on holiday in Dubai for example but in France, Germany etc... sure. I can imagine it would be less acceptable to be topless on a beach in Devon and that's okay too, that's English culture.

So we'll have to agree to disagree on this.

I’m in Ibiza

I think it's inappropriate by the kids pool. If you want to get your tits out in public there are surely other parts of the pool or beach that would be more appropriate and as a bonus husband can deal with the kids on his own at kids pool.

I never saw my Mom's boobs as a kid and I'm glad.

While all 3 of my MIL's now adult children saw her boobs as kids in a similar situation that you're describing and found it traumatizing. As adults they all refuse to go on holiday with her because of that.

Jesus Christ British people are uptight about boobs. Not as bad as the Americans though, I'll give us that at least.

Grew up in the south of France. Most women topless and no one batted an eyelid. Also most smoked, inc round the children’s pools, have much more of an issue with that.

And the whole ‘you wouldn’t go tolless in the supermarket’ argument mystifies me. I wouldn’t wear my bikini to Sainsbury’s full stop... and topless men aren’t permitted. And the pubs I go to all the adults are fully dressed wether inside or in the garden.

I am often topless when sunbathing. Usually put a top on to walk around though esp after four children as they need the support. Not sure anyone would notice when I am chilling in a hat with a book tbh.

It’s just boobs after all. I wouldn’t do it as am very large chest wise and they are pretty much down to my knees !

Pigflewpast - I have to say I have been genuinely surprised at the level of moralising on this issue here as well.