What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

Posting for traffic

Washing being darked on

Hth

Head tilt

Tinkly laugh

"Photo or it didn't happen"
or just
"that didn't happen"

There's a report button if you don't believe a poster, commenting the above on the thread make you sound like an idiot.

CF is annoying me now as it's over used!

Picky bits gives me the absolute rage but I don't see it as mn ism. Same for boobing.

People who say something quite rude/horrible and then follow it up with sorry.

So for example “actually for your height/build you are quite overweight. Sorry”

No you’re not sorry. You’re a rude twat trying to dress your comments up as something nice and helpful.

DFish

Just had to google what "Washing being darked on" means. Most links linked straight back to MumsNet.

I still have no idea what being darked on means.

You can only gently tell someone something after you've sat them down

'DCs' for children. If DC stands for darling or dear child, then DCs means darling childs. But it should be childREN! Plural of child is children!

grrr.

When I first came here I assumed CF meant Cunty Fucker/Fuckwit. I checked out the acronym list. The only listing for CF was Cystic Fibrosis.

Do you know that Cheeky Fucker is still not listed on the acronym list?

Sorry, but this doesn't sit well with me.
You're not sorry.
Sit well with you? Sit well? What?

@SalemBlackCat
Omg I'm so glad it's not just me with the CF thing...in my head I always say 'cunty fuck' and I just can't stop it

OH! I remembered on other thing, but I don't think it is only found on MumsNet. When people say things similar to "I was stood at", "we were sat around", "we were stood around", "I was sat at the table".

Can someone tell me when did this example of atrocious grammar and broken English became fashionable?

It should be I was seated at. We were sitting around. We stood around or we were standing around. I was seated at the table/I was sitting at the table.

*I remembered on(e) other thing

Agree so much with "posting for traffic" AIBU IS NOT YOUR PERSONAL MESSAGE BOARD POST IN THE RIGHT PLACE FFS

AF...cuz in 2018 we should still be so embarrassed about our abnormal monthly bleeding that we should still call it Aunt Flow. Ffs.

DH, DW, DM, DF, DD, DS, DC

"9amTrain

When people post "I didn't want to read and run"
Ugh, nobody knows whether you read the thread and ran or not. Nobody cares!"

Exactly!

Penguin bollard 🙄

Two more. Yes, I am a cranky old whinger. Just re-reading OP and sorry OP, but 'twee' really irritates me. Wtf does it even mean? It sounds something a 9 year old would use. Very cringeworthy.

Lastly when people say 'wee'. I've only really noticed it being used by people in the UK ie England and Scotland (especially), no other country. For example when someone says 'a wee bit' or 'he is a wee child'. Just NO!! Wee, is URINE!!! Every time someone on here uses it I want to interject and say no, you don't want a 'wee' bit. There is a toilet, go there. Or no, unless he is incontinent, he is not a 'wee' child. Even if your child is a bedwetter, calling someone wee is disgusting to me. Say 'just a little bit' or 'he is a short child/small child/short for his age' whatever. Just stop saying WEE!! Grrr

"Hubby" isn't a Mumsnetism! It's been around for decades. I remember Wilma saying on The Flintstones but it's probably even older than that.

I can't stand the long posts with no paragraphs and punctuation. So hard to read.

I thought it was just me, honestly, it makes my blood boil. Commas are your friend!

Just stop saying WEE!! Grrr

Sorry, not with you on this one because I am a Scot

'Sanpro'
The quickness to diagnose anything, but particularly dementia / narcissistic personality disorder
'You don't have a × problem you have a DH problem'
Posters being deliberately obtuse
'You've got a cf / cheeky fucker on your hands'
All the howling / waking the baby / spitting tea over the keyboard because someone made a probably deliberate typo
'Naice'

Lol Yes I have noticed Scots are the main culprits. :)

I know it's not just MN but AF (aunt Flo) for period. It seems to be used on all conception boards. Why?!?!?!?;

The pedants. Especially the ones who correct vagina to vulva. Ggrrrr.

When posters are telling a story and they include “all fine” to show how amazingly cool they were with everything that happened before the not-cool bit they want to whinge about. Except you can tell it’s not all fine!

E.g. “So MIL came in and told me that I was feeding DS all wrong and then she slagged off my cooking, all fine, but THEN she...”

I als have an irrational hatred of the phrase “each to their own” which is used on here to mean precisely the opposite - it actually means “I am jusging the FUCK out of you for that.”

I hate the condescending use of the term “cool wives”, largely because I genuinely do believe men and women can be friends without shagging and thus this makes me a “cool wife”

Oh and whatever the fuck posters mean when they use the word “handmaiden”.

Oh, and so much anxiety. Everyone has anxiety.

Quite a lot bugs me actually. I think I need to see someone about my anger issues 🤔