What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

when people say 'wee'
That's a Scottish thing, not a mumsnet thing!

You can only gently tell someone something after you've sat them down
🤣😂

The what should I buy from Aldi/Lidl threads. Buy whatever you want and eat at home...why the need to ask total strangers is beyond me.

@Salem your main issue seems to be British things not Mumsnet things

Mind. Blown.
Picky fucking bits or picky arsing tea.
So...
I was sat/I was stood
"On DD" or "on DS" (referring to a pregnancy usually)
There's a new, erroneous use of "to which" I see quite frequently
Nom
Yum
Unmumsnetty hugs

Especially the ones who correct vagina to vulva

Oh, good grief yes! Particularly under the guise of protecting children against sexual abuse as if saying vagina is practically the same as saying petal. 'Oh, someone photographed your vagina? Well, that's not possible as that's on the inside so nothing of concern here' 🙄🙄

@lethaldrizzle YES to this, fucks sake I hate that so much. Yes I know the correct biological names for all of my anatomy thanks but I'm still gonna say vagina for everything in that general area!

Salem you can't really come on a UK based forum and grumble about people using UK idioms - poorly, fancies and wee for small are in common usage across the country (wee mainly used in Scotland). I'm afraid your preferred 'has the hots for' is much more of an Americanism. Still perfectly legitimate as a slang term but not likely to be used much by UK posters.

I'm with Ordinary here, I don't mind the acronyms, people use them as part of a sort of mutual group language. DH, DD etc have been around years and years now - people use them because while they might be typing out a novel, why not shave off a few words with some generally recognised shortened forms?

But what does annoy me is when posters ask an OP why they have/haven't done something eh. Why did you have children with this man? Or why haven't you reported it? No empathy at all and is so condescending and unhelpful.

And don't criticise the emoji things, especially the raised eyebrow one, i love it! I wish my phone had these for use on FB etc. Won't hear a word against them

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross - "cool wife" bugs the crap out of me too. It's just so patronizing, and normally goes along with some massive batshittery about how any normal woman would pistol whip the floozy that walked to the bus stop with her husband that one time.

"Handmaiden" has always struck me as really misogynistic. As if I can't disagree with someone without being controlled by the patriarchy? I must admit, I see either of those two words in a conversation and I just sort of tune out.

Agree, any reference to Handmaidens infuriates me. It is inevitably used by posters who want to make it clear that if you don't agree entirely with them you are clearly incapable of independent thought and are just a slavish devotee of men, masculinity and patriarchy. It is awful!

Dcat or Ddog, it just makes absolutely no sense it's shorter to just say cat or dog?

I really hate the abbreviations of DP, DH, DSIS etc. Even more when someone has fallen out with the relative and puts 'D'P etc.

No particular reason why but I just can't stand it! And yet it's holy writ, I know I won't get anyone to change!

Snapped and farted. It wasn't even that funny to begin with.

Sticky baby dust. So juvenile.

DP/DH/DM etc and pointless AIBU's!

Any food thread will end up with someone declaring some food combo to be "food of the gods". Aaargh, hate that phrase!!!

"Picky tea" PUKE!

"Our little family". Fuck off.

'Oh, someone photographed your vagina? Well, that's not possible as that's on the inside so nothing of concern here'

😂This is making me laugh so much!!

No one calls it a fucking vulva.

Dying to know what sticky baby dust is. Is it something rank...?

"You need to sit him down and talk to him."

No, you just need to talk to him, sitting is optional.

"The male gaze"

I have it when a poster asks a rhetorical question and then answers it with 'thought not'. Eg: 'Does your DH ever... ? Thought not. ' These questions usually follow on from a post where OP has complained about dh/mil/other 'd' person not understanding a situation that they actually do understand very well.

I don't get especially wound up over 'English'or regional expressions such as 'Wee', 'daft', 'fancies' etc. They are all expressions I recognise and have used since my own childhood. I don't like the frequent use of nouns as verbs - parenting, etc.

If sticky baby dust means what I think it means I'm going to be sick.

The sycophancy from some (probably newer) posters towards regular posters who don't namechange. Although this is much better than it used to be; like a pp said, the phrase MN Royalty seems to be happily dying a death (probably because many of those so-called royals fucked off, or got shoved off, to Reddit).

AF makes me feel queasy.

Doing the whole "I think you mean vulva " bollocks. There was one thread where an op was actually posting about their own rape and several smug posters really felt like that needed to be said. Just fuck off.

Virtue signalling.

Those who pile in on any thread that discusses some singular incident of Godawful service from the NHS / police / similar in order to make sneery "bla bla cuts, difficult job" comments rather than just sympathise or offer advice. Although that probably sits under virtue signalling.

someone posts about a Parkin/ neighbour issue. Cue 43 cries of ‘you know the rules, where’s the diagram’ ‘place marking for the diagram’ ‘diagram or it didn’t happen’

Although to be quite honest I’m more grateful this trend has stayed out of the Sex and conception topics

'Lawyer up' usually following the constructive advice of getting ducks in a row and LTB.
The vulva/vagina correction is both twatty and cringey.
When someone 'turns around and says' something, I imagine them doing a comedy twirl before speaking.

Have read the full thread op
And, so what?