What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

Oh yes, hubby - dreadful.

After seeing Lauren83 mention Hubby there .

I once, I kid you not, somewhere on here , saw Hubster. Eeeek.

Picky bits 🤢

The way that posters start with "name changed for this but naice ham, cancel the cheque, penis beaker etc" as if only people who can prove they've been here for years are worthy of sensible answers

OP: Someone threw mashed potato at my actual head today, they're a cunt

MN: Mind your own business; you don't know what's going on in their lives; maybe they're just proud of the mashed potato throwing skills; maybe they have sensory issues; you should've taken them for a coffee

Also MN: I'd have punched them in the face and kicked them to the ground then run over their body four times. Why didn't you do this? You're a doormat.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks totally agree! It's that little insistence on making sure everyone knows you're breastfeeding. So unnecessary!

Naice

I cringe/am furious/am shocked on your behalf

are the ones that irritate the most. I am sure I think of a lot more in a minute!

"only on MN"
is another one.

Whipsmart that drives me mad too! Also I wasn't on MN for any of that stuff but I could reference it in a post because I've seen them crop up so many times so it's meaningless anyway!

I once started a Chat thread about my mum being a bit of a twat to me when I visited her.

The third post was a diagnosis of dementia.

1. on an evening. It's OF an evening.

2. knock on. It's knock FOR.

3. ppl questioning the use of 'hubby'. Who cares.

There's another one but I can't remember what it is at the mo.

When people write "this", sometimes with an upwards arrow to agree with a previous post. It doesn't work on Mumsnet as you can't tell if someone else posted between them and the person they agreed with voicing a different opinion. It still irritates me (makes my nostrils flare) if they state the bit they are agreeing with though.

“Are you on glue?” has never been remotely funny.

The ready spitting of beverages and waking of spouses, cats and babies for wild hilarity can be a bit irritating.

A silly typo and the thread is dead, because half the future contributions will be about what happened when the poster dissolved in fits of giggles.

'The cool wives will be along in a minute to say that their husbands have female friends' also bugs me. Wtf is a cool wife?

Ducks in a row because it's used so much.
Boobing. I've always hated that. It's used everywhere. They're not a verb. You are feeding.

'Are you seeing someone about your anxiety?'

I guess it's fair enough in some instances but it's often trotted out when someone is just a bit nervous about something and it drives me mad.

Sanpro and the new saying ‘go well’

Oh and 'I spat my tea all over my keyboard' - no you didn't, liar

The latest irritation is people being advised to speak gently to someone.

'Just tell her gently that her toddler is a shit'.

'Tell him gently that staring at you from the bus stop across the road for two hours is inappropriate.'

Gently tell them that you'll call social services next time the baby goes to McDonalds.'

Jesus, tell them straight or mind your own damned business.

My little family......absolutely fucking awful!!!

It sets my teeth on edge (what does that even feel like?)
It makes my blood boil

I’m fairly new to this kind of forum and I’m not keen on the commonly used abbreviations (DH, DD, etc). Mostly because I grew up as an internet user on forums in my teens and early 20s (I’m 32 now) and generally text/chat speak was frowned upon. Seems strange to me that adult users have gone back to that kind of language.

I’m not complaining though...I understand I’m the newbie and it’s me who needs to adapt.

there's one that seems to have disappeared now, thankfully or I have just missed all the references to them
'MN Royalty'

Nearly as annoying as the posters who like to think they are part of a gang, and punctuate a thread with "oh trust you posterxyz to sort them out/ tell them like it is"

Pearl clutching

it isn't really irrational though - I think it is really dismissive of women's reactions.

The d stuff can be funny. I've seen someone write "ddog"