What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

@SalemBlackCat

America has its fair share of rude people, some of whom even get to be president. So too does Australia, it would appear. I don't think that gives any of us the right to put them all down in such disparaging terms as you continue to spout.

If we so embarrass you, feel free to go away and annoy some other old-fashioned, backward and embarrassing people.

Ducks in a row and how all money is family money 🙄

"No is a complete sentence"

Honestly, it isn't. It's a single word. And I refuse to believe Mumsnetters routinely go around barking "no!" at people who ask them for things. Unless they're dreadfully rude and a touch odd.

I agree, no isn't a complete sentence at all and would just make you sound like a rude arsehole.

Unless the other person is also a rude arsehole, then try to at least base your reply on more than those two letters.

I think people on here are a bit too "right on" and get offended over very small things.

Also, and I am not a parent, so perhaps I don't get it, but they seem very offended on behalf of their children, getting overly involved in what the teacher said or some other kid at school.

The 'mumsnet haircut'. It's got fuck all to do with mumsnet, it existed before this site did.
Ditto the 'mumsnet chicken'. People have been using every bit of a chicken for ever really.

@GreatDuckCookery were you around at the time of Sharon?

Is that the T. rex Sharon?

all money is family money

Unless the woman is the primary earner in which case the DH is most probably a ‘cock lodger’

“What do you get from this relationship now?”

I know it’s well-meaning, but so over-used.

I asked where I could find sanpro in a shop in the states once, Mumsnet having led me to believe that that was the correct term there. The woman looked at me like I had two heads.

Snacky foods. As bad as picky tea and yorkie puds 😩

Is picky tea last nights leftovers?

I think it means buffet style food.

I've never heard anyone say sanpro irl and don't know a living soul who uses a moon cup

"When someone tells you who they are, believe them". It's so trite.

The how often do you wash your sheets/bra/neck threads. Beyond tedious.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them".

What do you mean?

It means if someone is acting like a selfish arse to you then that's who/what they really are i.e. don't make excuses for them. I think anyway.

Also, and I am not a parent, so perhaps I don't get it, but they seem very offended on behalf of their children, getting overly involved in what the teacher said or some other kid at school.

Absolutely yes to this. I'd add in the "my neighbour did x, what a horrible person" and visitor/doorbell threads to that. There are some very precious and uptight people here.

Great Duck, I mean that that is a common MN phrase that I find annoying.

"PFB" for precious firstborn. The implication is that the OP unreasonably thinks their child is special, and that they'll learn to get proper perspective in time and stop being so silly. It's very insulting. Children ARE precious to their parents. That's as it should be.

I don't think there's anything wrong with loving your child intensely and having high standards for how you want to look after them and how you want others to treat them. In some cases that isn't going to be practical, but that doesn't make new parents wrong for wanting it. And sure, parents do often relax in future years and with subsequent children, but I don't think they should be pushed in that direction if they don't feel it's right to do so.

Yes OP, totally agree with those! Boobing and pg really get on my nerves.

I can’t bear it when people use ‘luffs’ as in ‘I luffs it’ instead of loves.

‘Big girl pants’.

Pointless AIBUs.

Very lengthy responses as I CBA reading them.

‘Man here’ ... great, just what we need.

Love DDOG DDCAT etc

Don't you mean you luffs DDog and DCat Botanicbaby?

I'm not sure if this is a Mumsnet thing or a general expression, but I seem to only come across it here: In recipes when people say 'fry off' as in 'First, you fry off some onions and celery'. Why not just say 'fry'?

I LOVE MN and it's been a source of wisdom, support and laughs for me for almost a decade.

The only things that annoy me are:

"Are you on glue?" It's a horribly dated insult, which wouldn't have been funny back when people were actually doing glue.

"Did you mean to be so rude?" The recommended MN retort, is just... shit.

I really hate boobing/on the boob and all the other variants of this.

picky tea/ picky bits - yuck

cockwomble -what does that even mean?

"No is a complete sentence." No it bloody well isn't.It's not a sentence at all. A six year old could tell you that.

'I just spat my tea all over my keyboard'. I bet you didn't. It would have been too much of a pain in the arse to clean up.

Constant references to old threads - cancel the cheque/snapped and farted etc that make no sense in the current thread and just make you look deranged.

And I really hate it when people start threads and don't bloody come back to them. What is the point of writing an opening post if you're not going to come back and see if anyone has any answers or advice? I must have responded to about 6 posts in the last week that have not been acknowledged by the OP. I don't know why I bother.