What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

People that describe themselves as “large of nork”

We know who the true tits are

'norkage'

"Life admin/house admin"

Pretentious shite.

Tinkly laugh
Poems
No is a full sentence
That doesn't work for me
Rinse and repeat. Every. Single. Time.

Haven't read all but one the other day nearly made me GAG

"If baby needs fed..." vom

you ask for genuine advice/support on a subject or event that is quite big in your life at that time and you always, always, always get one smart arse saying something nasty, or telling you to suck it up...

you stick up for someone and get slated for it, you don't stick up for them and you get asked why did you just stand by and let that happen.

MM is just one huge contradiction - but i do love it lol

Ddog and Ddad are actually madness

Also I have never heard the work nork / norkage IRL. Someone on MN made it up!

The "oh dear could your judgy pants be hoiked any higher OP?"
No one would ever say this IRL mainly cause it makes them sound like an arse.
I don't understand why posters go to the trouble of typing it, it's so overused and redundant

People who come on to a thread just to say 'not this again'. It could be someone's first time posting or maybe they tend to stick to topics where a particular subject isn't normally discussed. Just don't open the thread if you've seen it before - there are dozens of others.

Oh God yes - that bloody biscuit. I hate it!

I think it's useful when people say 'not this again' so you can Advanced Search and see exactly how many other threads there have been on the subject.

When people come on to the Baby Names threads and get arsey that people don’t like the names they picked for their kids. Fair enough it might not be nice to read people pasting your taste, but it blows my mind that people are shocked that they get real opinions on a part of the site designed to give real opinions on baby names.

Troll hunters who are so over zealous they call out the poster in the middle of the thread (regardless of how sensitive the content) instead of just hitting the sodding report button.

Running the house.

Is it Chatsworth?

People who come on to a thread just to say 'not this again'
I agree. If you are bored by the subject just scroll past it. It's not like you are obliged to read every single thread

Running the house.

Is it Chatsworth?

I think that too when people moan about 'managing the household finances'. Kind of assume for most people its a case of setting up direct debits for their council tax and utility providers and maybe reviewing their deal once a year.

Run. Run like the wind. Or run for the hills.
FFS.

Also, I really dislike the word hobby. Makes me feel like I’m aged 11 in a French class. When people talk about hobbies I picture them collecting stickers and rubbers.

When an OP posts about something they feel obliged to go to but don't want to, and people will reply "oh you're busy that day, aren't you?" "You're out of town you can't possibly go, can you?"

Etc.

I think that too when people moan about 'managing the household finances'. Kind of assume for most people its a case of setting up direct debits for their council tax and utility providers and maybe reviewing their deal once a year
Same for people who justify how they're so busy being at home because they 'do household admin'.

Add in that if a woman stays at home with the child then expecting any cleaning is out of order because they are there for being a stay at home parent, not a maid. Everyone knows the WOHP should come home and do 50% of all household chores.

Man is at home with kids, he should be doing all the childcare and at least 50% of the chores otherwise he is a cocklodging man child and the OP should get her ducks in a row and LTB.

I think that too when people moan about 'managing the household finances'. Kind of assume for most people its a case of setting up direct debits for their council tax and utility providers and maybe reviewing their deal once a year

I know, especially as most people don't even bother to switch their gas/electric/broadband etc.

I'm one of those that chases all the deals, switches frequently, gets a load of 0% credit cards to put the money into savings accounts, ie uses it as a bit of a sad but money making hobby and even that doesn't take more than an hour or two a month at most.

If I left things alone and didn't bother it would be an hour or two a year including DPs tax return if that.

"don't you feel d&v coming on?"

Maybe I’m just miserable but it always makes me raise an eyebrow when people say they’re crying with laughter or they laughed so hard their hubby had to come and see what was going on.

I know some people are bemused by people expressing their laughter but I quite like it!

I find it funny.

Sorry if someone had already said this one, but I can’t stand “fuck that for a game of soldiers”

Also people frequently accuse ops of having started a similar thread previously, eg; “this is suspiciously familiar, didn’t you post about this a month ago?” op usually denies it, but so what if they have?

'Simples'

Argh!