What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

When a man leaves for his mistress he creates a vacancy.
Ridiculously simplistic.

Another "naice" from me. Hate it!

• NC because this is outing
• Naice
• Posters being told to LTB because their husband left the bog seat up
• Handmaiden used totally unironically by posters who'd descend into apoplexy if someone referred to them as the "T" word.
• "Placemarking"
• Diagnoses of narcissism / dementia / etc from the internet doctors

@GreatDuckCookery were you around at the time of Sharon?

Another one: I look after my sil's child once a fortnight, I needed a lift to the station and she refused aibu?
Many poster try to outdo each other along the lines of: yanbu if I were her I'd have bought you flowers and chocolates and a ticket to a London show and given you a lift to the airport never mind the station and hafbded over my first-born child
Some annoying prat: what about your brother? It's his child too?

Oh no that last one is me

Oh, I've just seen one: the 'what to buy from Aldi/lidl' threads.

Honestly, it's a food shop. It pretty much sells ordinary food, it's not solely stocking food for an Indiana temple of doom banquet.

I've done those - a sort of "share with me what's good in the own brands" thread.

I keep glancing at this on threads I'm on and doing a double take when I read "what Muslims irrationally annoy you?"

"Spends"

Ah well StealthPolarBear, I imagine everyone has done at least one of the things mentioned on this thread!

@SalemBlackcat this is a U.K. forum and many people write the way they speak. How dare you dictate that they should stop using dialect or colloquial British terms for your convenience? Perhaps you should look for an American forum that does not cause your blood pressure to go through the roof with “annoying“ parochialisms.

and you say I am so sick and tired of trying to decipher 'S2BXH took DF out with DC and DM wasn't happy'.

That is basic basic Mumsnet stuff that a new user could pick up after reading three or four threads. If it makes you sick and tired you should step away and try something less challenging to fill your time.

Using "lay" as an intransitive verb.

As in "I was laying on my bed, when..."

This is not specific to MN.

@JessieMcJessie I cannot believe this is still going. I stopped reading this thread 2 days ago. I am NOT trying to dictate anything, you are paranoid and hysterical. The thread ASKED US to say what annoys us. I contributed, like anyone else. I made no demands, so take a seat and calm down. I simply thought if I said how old-fashioned and backward some people come across, they might maybe, you know, change. That is all. I made NO demands at all, so get over yourself.

Oh, and I am not American. I have never been to America. Believe it or not, there are more countries than America that think the way that some Ukers speak is very very old-fashioned, backward and embarrassing.

Lastly, at least 14 others have said the *EXACT....SAME.....THING about the D stuff being confusing, almost all have been people in the UK. So I am far, far, FAR from the only one who thinks it is confusing, lazy and stupid.

Thank you.

"Choices aren't made in a vacuum". No shit Einstein!

"Choices aren't made in a vacuum". No shit Einstein!

I think you'll find that Hoover vs Dyson is a common choice being made in vacuums!

!em tuoba sdrawkcab gnihton si ereht

Stirner, I so agree about the dreadful horror amongst some MNers about being THAT parent so far as schools are concerned. Teachers are people too and, guess what, some are fallible. If a headteacher, teacher or TA has messed up, it's actually wrong that parents should be bullied into keeping quiet about it for fear of being THAT parent. Wear being THAT parent as a badge of honour and be proud!

Salem, no-one would object if you put forward your objects to terms like "daft" and "fancies" as your own personal irrational dislikes. The point is that you have vociferously claimed that use of those words is wrong, old fashioned, beige etc etc - when the reality is that their usage is perfectly correct English, is relatively common in modern parlance, and it's neither beige, colourful or anything else.

I must say, I'm quite bemused at your perception that "fancies" is an Enid Blyton term. I don't think any Enid Blyton character ever went in for fancying anyone, under any circumstances.

Objections, not objects.

what would be really old fashioned (but lovely) is if we could all get along!

This thread is supposed to help vent irritations, not create new ones :-)

@SalemBlackCat re women not calling their vagina the vulva, so what? Not sure what it's got to do with you.

And bog off with the rude comments about peoples regional dialect. As someone said upthread, if you don't like the way we speak, then naff off.

And I don't CARE if you 'stopped posting on here 2 days ago...'

@SalemBlackCat re women not calling their vagina the vulva, so what? Not sure what it's got to do with you.

And bog off with the rude comments about peoples regional dialect. As someone said upthread, if you don't like the way we speak, then naff off.

And I don't CARE if you 'stopped posting on here 2 days ago...'

Oooooh I have so many things that piss me off. Hope you have 10 minutes...

'You sound unhinged'

Horrible thing to say. A poster who says that to someone is basically saying 'you're a nutter,' and 'you are deranged/mentally ill.'

When someone is passionate about their views and expresses them in a forthright manner, it pisses me off when someone says 'You sound angry.' It is so fucking patronising. The poster is basically saying 'there there luv, no need to be hysterical, calm down dear......'

On every thread where a woman comes on and says 'I am 44 and pregnant WWYD???' ... a bunch of posters come on saying 2 out of 3 women they know had a baby at 47, 48, 50, 53, natural conception of course, and a perfectly healthy baby with no health issues whatsover. And if someone says they don't know any women who had a baby over 45, they are told 'you are clearly not a middle class professional then and must be a chav from a rough sink estate in Manchester, cuz every middle class professional I know had their first baby at 45 to 55 y.o... Only chavs have them before 40.' Oh and they know DOZENS of women who had 2 kids at 45-50, who are 70-75 now, and run a marathon every month, scale Mount Everest twice a year, do kickboxing and karate, look 39, and don't have a SINGLE health issue.

Ddog, Dcat, DNephew, DNiece, WhattheactualDFUCK?!

'WOW just WOW' makes me feel violent.

Women who are incensed that other woman do not use mooncups.

Women who are incensed that other women change their surname to their husband's surname with 'and why exactly did you change your SURNAME? Why didn't HE change HIS?

'Pull up your big girl pants.'

'I just spat my tea all over my keyboard' (usually in response to another poster saying something rude or sarcastic to another poster that they think is funny.) And we know they didn't actually spit their tea over the keyboard!...

Oh and I hate it when someone says 'there are a few new posters on this thread putting their views across... WE SEE YOU!' Fucking HATE that.

LO for a child. Just say CHILD!

NAICE ham, NAICE neighbourhood, NAICE hotel. Fuck off, say NICE. You sound like a twat.

NC for this but penis beaker, naice ham, cancel the cheque yada yada..

'Give your head a wobble.' (WTF?!) Such a horrid saying.

'Why did you have children with this man if he is so awful?'

When someone is struggling financially ... 'take in some ironing,' or 'get a little cleaning job' or 'do a job from home - sticking glitter to plastic champagne flutes...'

Agree with the poster a few pages back saying that some MN-ers never age, and are all a size 6. I PMSL sometimes at some threads where women aged 46 claim that they are CONSTANTLY asked for ID to buy alcohol. Yeeeah, in your dreams luv! Nobody, and I mean NOBODY looks more than 10 years younger than their age - not when you look at them properly...

Posters on here who are 30, and claim they bought their first home at 19, and are now mortgage free 'purely through hard work and saving...'

Posters who insist they cook everything from scratch, and are superior to people who don't.

LTB at the slightest little thing. Like it's SO fucking easy to just pack your life up into 2 suitcases, find somewhere else to live, and start over!

Ahhhh that feels better.