What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

Nothing to do with MNisms, but picking up on Salem's comments on English usage.

Most of the times I hear 'poorly' in conversation it is usually the English understatement of the year. 'Granny is a bit poorly' usually means the end is nigh.

Wee is a perfectly acceptable description of something small/ tiny amount in NI too. Nothing to do with urine. For example, Beryl is a wee bit pissed off with people telling her how to speak English.

I have to admit I've only read the first page but they were killing the craic of mumsnet. It's the idiosyncrasies that make it what it is. Embrace it or FO

That should have been fottfsofawygtfosma

My pet MN hate is when people chime in with "Ive asked my husband and he's thinks this...". Oh well, thank goodness someone with a valid opinion has contributed, phew

Another I've noticed is ridiculous comparisons. There's a thread going on at the moment, the OP asking if SIBU sunbathing topless on holiday- well, it's like a pearl clutching competition, but the comparisons are comedy gold. They include "Would you pick your kids up from school topless" and "Would you go to Asda topless". No you fucking moron, the OP is not at Asda she's by a pool in Ibiza 😂

Finally, when posters say twee MN euphemisms - DTD, Aunty Flo/monthlies. or starting out swear words such as f*ck.
YOU'RE A GROWN UP! Say sex, period and fuck, FGS!

And no one is ever just a dickhead. There's always a diagnoses - autism, ADHD, dementia etc. When really, they're probably just a dickhead and it's not worth trying to make sense of their actions

I hate 'have a '

It's makes me feel like I'm being passive aggressive when offering biscuits in real life

Hubby.

Are you very young?

GunpowderGelatine - I saw that topless sunbathing thread too, utter madness

What's wank to??

Ffs, SANPRO

Sanpro

So American and I’ve nevee heard one person in the outside say it.

What’s really annoying is the ones who tel everyone their relationship is over, or any problems with the house and they should ‘just move’ as if this is all really simple and uncomplicated

AIBU to ask what you’re having for dinner
AIBU to ask if you know of any good hotels
AIBU to ask what time your baby goes to bed

No of course YANBU to ask any of those things you dick head, just post them in the relevant topic.

Also: tinkly laugh, spat on keyboard, woke the baby up with my snorting laughter at this hilarious thread. Grrr...

Use of the word baby without a ‘the’ before it.

I’m 55 with no wrinkles and everyone thinks I’m 20.

No they don’t and yes you do have wrinkles because everyon in know in RL looks their age. Some look good for their age but all look their age.

Head tilt. Ugh.

1. Naice
2. Just that really
3. D used unnecessarily, e.g. DSIS, DSIL, DDog Dnephew, etc.

The bra threads. Mostly start off reasonable but like threads about ageing, go in the same direction. Someone will ask about, say, recommendations for slim people with big boobs. Cue an ever-increasing number of posters with make-believe bra sizes where the number tends towards zero and the letter towards Z. For example, there'll be someone who needs a 26MM and can only buy from a specialist manufacturer in California

Also, smug/twee use of the word 'lovely'. For example, 'we had a lovely snuggle' or 'I had a lovely birth'. I don't know why this grates on me as 'lovely' is such a mundane word, but it does!

People writing ect instead of ETC. The abbreviation etc comes from et cetera, the Latin for 'and so on'. Stop writing it incorrectly and learn some bloody language.

I agree, the «lovely» stuff does my head in too. I especially hate «lovely gifts». Don’t know why but it always makes me cringe.

Sorry but it's patronising and it gives me the rage!

That reminds me - people calling other posters "my love". It may be meant to be supportive, but how can they be your love if they're total strangers you wouldn't recognise if you passed them in the streets?

The inevitable suggestion of "taking in ironing" when you're on the breadline. Yes that will solve all financial problems in an instant!

Also the point blank refusal to open a link to a Daily Mail story (even if its research on Statins or an article about the ten best beaches in the UK) or consider reading the rest of the thread because the person who posted it is obviously an ill educated, racist, misogynistic, xenophobic TORY! Really we all know you're on the side bar of shame during your lunch break

The suggestion, every time someone says something unreasonable on a thread, that the Daily Mail are watching like hawks ready to publish it.

'This too shall pass'

I used to like it but it's become so overused and I now think it's quite twee and self righteous.

Oh yes, the biscuit. I started a thread in Site Stuff asking for abolition of the passive aggressive biscuit. Their response was to give my first

!!!