What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

I almost forgot...cockwomble. No idea where that came from or even what it means but have only ever seen it on MN.

People who cannot possibly ever do xyz due to anxiety and depression. Of course both conditions are real and debilitating but it seems so widespread here.

@Stirner - I mentioned this earlier. The double standards on this MN when it comes to money and gender is bewildering.

The competitive non eating. How having more than a sniff of lettuce a day or the odd lick of an ice cube is sickening and gluttonous... and while I'm on the subject, why does no one ever just EAT here? Everyone slurps, chomps, devours, troughs (urgh) but no one just bloody EATS.

The inability to understand that people live in different places is great too. It's been particularly good this past month with the heatwave. Which of course wasn't a heatwave for the first week because it was cold in the South East and only hot in the Midlands and Wales.

I think the competitive over eating is even worst.

And the orthorexics and sugar police.

There's one of the regular 'do your DCs always have their 5 a day' threads running right now.

OP asks it '5 a day is a must'. I honestly felt like posting, well yes it is, or They Will Die, but I thought that was a bit in bad taste so didn't.

Few sensible posters say things like we try, sometimes or some of their DCs do or don't, that sort of thing, but now we've got the boasters with a record claimed consumption of 20 portions of F&V per day.

Predictably the sugar police are out to criticise banana and raisin consumption, not fruit apparently. Might as well just give them a bag of sugar and a spoon.

I honestly thought, for months that STBXH was for Stupid Bastard Ex Husband, not soon to be ex husband!

Also, I agree with PP, I hate Naice. I always imagine them saying it as "Niiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrccceee".

"The inability to understand that people live in different places is great too"

Yes, especially on weather threads. I'm in Yorkshire, and apart from the lack of rain, we are really enjoying the fabulous weather. To be fair, average temperatures are low to mid 20s, not 30+.

"Give your head a wobble"
Anyone who comes back to a comprehensible thread asking a reasonable question to audit the OP's grammar or spelling
Constant use of "narc" applied to anyone the poster has a difficult relationship (often the "narc" obviously is very difficult to deal with but not everyone who's difficult to deal with has a personality disorder)

"Throwing x under the bus".

I have been amused watching that thread Barbara for all its classic MNisms. Almost "placemarked" on it for the entertainment.

Oh and also when people use "in jokes" far past when they should be used (f they should have been used at all)

You will have a thread, and someone will post "you should cancel the cheque" and you can almost see them sitting behind the screen almost vibrating with glee for using an in joke that people will "spit out their tea" for purely to prove they are part of some mumsnet club or something.

Meanwhile the OP and 90% of the people on the thread are confused as anything, either because they joined after that thread (as the original thread was years ago) or they never read it in the first place.

"Woo"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhh

To 'emetophobia' I'll add 'misophonia', which is almost without exception self-diagnosed, and often seems to be a synonym for 'intolerance of the people around me not treating their own home/workplace as my personal silent yoga retreat'.

theguineapig Yes, and can we please and narcissists, the world must be full of them at the rate they're diagnosed on here!

This is not MN but I need to vent somewhere: the "heroes" on facebook group who need group recognition, and disguise unpleasant noisiness with fake concern:

there was a car crash/ ambulance at this location, I hope everyone involved is ok
No you don't, you just want the gory details!

Usually prompting a "I was there, I gave them a blanket" to attract a million "oh well done, you are so brave and generous"
It drives me mad.

"Is English your first language OP?" So fucking rude.

I honestly thought, for months that STBXH was for Stupid Bastard Ex Husband, not soon to be ex husband!

You weren’t the only one.

Also agree about the competitive non eating.

Not exactly an MNism, but "Not that hot of a day", "Not that bad of a sister", "Not that fast of a car". What's "of" doing in there, FFS?

"Are you OK, OP?"

Translates as: About time you gave us the next instalment.

"'intolerance of the people around me not treating their own home/workplace as my personal silent yoga retreat'."

"I honestly thought, for months that STBXH was for Stupid Bastard Ex Husband, not soon to be ex husband!"

Another one ....

i loathe the biscuit.
If you don't give a shit, don't comment!

'Can you get an Au Pair?' - as if everyone has a spare room and months to interview and vet potential au pairs.

Also the over eagerness to justify arsehole/weird/abusive (insert descriptor of your choice) behaviour with a mental health/personality disorder. Everyone is a narcissist or depressed!

That stupid shit about washing being 'darked on' and spider willies. Not even remotely entertaining. Grow up!

I also think 'boils my piss' is revolting.

I have only ever seen sanitary items called 'SanPro' (In my head it always looks like this - with a TM.) and it annoys me

“blue-lighted to hospital” leaves me feeling weird inside.

I think that phrase is OK, maybe BBC news wouldn't use it, but I have heard it used by an A&E doctor, in the context of a story of someone who came within minutes of bleeding to death. The phrase does convey more than "rushed to hospital", which I suppose is closest alternative of similar length.