What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

OMG

"Man here. I think ..."

Fuck off

Jesus wept....

I really don't like it when used.

“Sat here shaking” followed by an account of some mundane exchange with a shop assistant/ neighbour/ MIL

“Didn’t want to read and run” no one cares!

Spends, I don't have spends I have spending money, drives me crazy!!

People asking the panicking pregnant poster 'what was your plan pre conception?'. How damn patronising is this? Obviously they want the poor woman to say they are pregnant by mistake so they can then launch into a contraception lecture.

Fanjo
emojis

Haha @Lucky the preview of your message on my 'watching' was just 'fanjo emojis' had to come back and see what you were on about.

Que/ cue when people mean queue. I have to fight hard to resist that knobby MN tendency of derailing the thread with a correction. The first correction can be tolerable. Queues of posters making the same correction is cringeworthy. Correcting posters in obviously distressing situations is extra knobbish.

I'll admit to using "sanpro". It's a useful cover all to describe tampon/ mooncup/ disposable or washable pads. It's a context that I only seem to see on here, not to be naturally used in conversation.

All the Dfamily words are annoying but thw worst is Ddog.
Just write dog!!!

For ages I thought that STBEH what stupidbastardexhusband. Only recently realised the actual meaning.

When someone asks advice about buying a flat in London for £700,000, there's always at least one reply of 'Heavens, you could buy a mansion and thirty acres where I live.'

And when someone links to a four-bedroomed house for £185,000 there's always at least one 'Goodness, the north is so cheap. You couldn't buy a shed for that money where I live'.

Yes, we know.

stripeysocks I also thought that CF was cunty fucker. Glad I'm not the only one. Maybe we have sweary minds.

@ dh = dickhead. Yes that's what I thought but then I was married to one

Re SanPro - I initially thought it was some chemical company. It took me quite awhile to realise it meant sanitary products (at least I gather that is what it means?) so it's not surprising others also couldn't figure it out.

@SalemBlackCat

I have to say that I am quite offended by your posts here.

I am Scottish. I use all these 'stupid' words that grind on you. They are typical words - nothing too surprising, rather boring in fact. Except wee for urine, that one is not in my vocabulary.

It surprises me that you want to stick around. Perhaps there is a non-UK site more to your liking?

The assumption that all new mothers can afford to hire a cleaner and that it will fix all the problems

Has anyone mentioned the MN "feed your family of 5 for a week" chicken yet?

Manchild - irrational dislike of this.

Any thread with the word vaccination in it. I've yet to come across one where people are able to engage in a reasonable debate

"I'm out" - in response to irritation as the OP is not listening/taking advice. If you're 'leaving' the thread just go, no need to make an announcement. No-one actually cares.

"Horrible thread, I'm hiding this.." - see above.

Has anyone mentioned the MN "feed your family of 5 for a week" chicken yet?

Can we also mention things that no one has said for ages but that always pop up on these threads?

hot choc.

MNers have it in winter as the panacea to all ills, usually coupled with snuggling under throws to watch a DVD.

I fucking hate it.

Referring to boys as lil/little man... Ugh

Boak. Never heard this before MN and I hate it!

The phrase 'wow, just wow' seems to pop up a lot.

Also at first I wondered about bf - breast feeding I wondered or bottle feeding? Quickly realised it was breastfeeding as formula feeding as ff was a thing but not immediately obvious.

Any references to spitting tea out on the keyboard, choking on a biscuit, projecting elements of a sausage roll with force to break the window. Yeah ok, something was mildly amusing.

'tinkly laugh'.

No is a complete sentence / did you mean to be so rude (i almost want to be rude in real life around potential MNers to see if anyone says it).

Lastly when people say 'wee'. I've only really noticed it being used by people in the UK ie England and Scotland (especially), no other country. For example when someone says 'a wee bit' or 'he is a wee child'. Just NO!! Wee, is URINE!!!

You're flat out wrong. Wee for small is perfectly correct vocabulary for Scots and Scots English, as well as Northern English variants. Wee for urine is a childish euphemism in some forms of English. How bloody DARE you complain about our correct use of our own language. In fact, you're talking total pish.

It winds me up when people do not take responsibility for anything.
"I stole the Crown Jewels, made sacrifices to Satan and poisoned the water supply, but it wasn't my fault as I was suffering from syndrome."

And those whose answer to anything and everything is "LTB".

Those who delete great threads about trampoleens and naiborgs.

"I'm out" - in response to irritation as the OP is not listening/taking advice. If you're 'leaving' the thread just go, no need to make an announcement. No-one actually cares.

"Horrible thread, I'm hiding this.." - see above.

Oh yes. Especially annoying when the person then hangs about the thread endlessly repeating that same comment. Throw in a bit about how the thread is vile and grim for good measure.

It just does my head in, needless attention seeking is all it is. If you're going to fuck off, fuck off. We don't care and your grand announcements are just a bit pathetic.

The endless, convoluted acronyms

We probably all understand DH, DM, DC and so on, but then you'll get someone who mentions an obscure group, person or whatever and insists on using alphabet soup ... sometimes never even mentioning the full name in the first place

Grrrrrrr