What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

When someone announces themselves to the topic like the bloody expert of the world

“Older parent here”
“Teacher here
“Man here”

Oh ok we will just close the fucking thread now you’ve come on and given your opinion shall we?

Sanpro is sanitary protection

I thought sanpro was some elite tampon and I googled it

Elite tampon 😂😂😂 amazing

Ha Elite tampons

"That doesn't work for me" is rarely a good answer to any question. It just makes you sound strange and obstructive. Actually give an answer that fits what is being asked.

Also anything -zilla. It was maybe mildly funny the first two times, now it is just lame. And yet people apparently fall about laughing when it is trotted out for the nth time.

"Every. Single. Time." in situations where that kind of emphasis isn't called for.

"When I go to Mcdonalds I order a happy meal. Every. Single. Time."

Making memories does my head in. So fucking corny.

Yy to the fawning over the popular posters. It's worse on some boards than others.

My current unfavourite is posters using "woke" as a belittling insult, much like the way cool wives is used.

And when posters c&p a whole chunk of someone else's post and write
^^This!!! underneath it. Have something to say ffs, or stop taking up valuable thread space.

And troll hunting in all its forms. There're a whole lot of specialist ones on mn that are so incredibly smug. Just report the posts you think are trolls or shut the feck up. Again, happens a lot more on some boards than others.

Elite tampons would be a great brand name though

Full fat Coke.

Never understand this. It's not fat, it's sugar.

Why not just say Coke. You have to be from another planet not to know it's loaded with sugar. (And caffeine)

"It's and invitation not a summons" and "no is a complete sentence" when used for wedding and hen do invites.

Yes, any good reason you have for not attending is absolutely fine, but I know I would be extremely hurt if one of my close friends didn't come without even telling me why. In real life, people talk to each other about these things!

"Elite Tampons - fill the vaginas no other tampons can - absorbent enough for a uterine tsunami event - the superhero of sanpro!"

Loads. For some reason I find the shared idiom on internet forums really really annoying. I have no idea why.

Exactly this. Some days I can barely stand to be on mumsnet because of the overuse of crappy fucking catchphrases.

There are so many I hate but at the very top of my shit list are:

"Did you mean to be so rude?" followed closely by, "no is a complete sentence..."

Anyone who types those, I immediately think "wanker".

Not my monkeys, not my circus

Wow, just wow.
You sound lovely, OP.
Anything involving biscuits, especially first ones.
Going on about mooncups.
Being a cool, relaxed parent but equally having the ability to command immediate respect from children who misbehave.
Telling people to move to the arse end of nowhere and get driving lessons rather than paying slightly more to live somewhere convenient.

Asking a question then putting no on the end as in it’s been sunny today? no? For some reason this induces a bit of a rage in me

I always thought DH meant dickhead

Threads that are 10 pages long, 9 pages being people who are 'placemarking'. Followed by a load of posts replying to the original question, even though the thread has moved on since then, they haven't bothered to read it all, because they couldn't be bothered to skip through all the placemarking .
People being given 'free reign'. It's free rein, like a horse. And it's a phrase that's used rarely, except on mumsnet when it is almost always misspelt.

Oh God, I think I've done two things that people have complained about on here tonight.

I shall slink back off to the other side of fuck now...

(Actually feeling embarrassed about this)

Oh and “we” are pregnant no your not one of you I stood the other is going to be a parent

Perhaps we should have a thread saying what is actually permitted on here.

Perhaps we should have a thread saying what is actually permitted on here.

I imagine it wouldn’t be too different to this thread!

I’ve asked DH/DP and he says ............. well fucking whoopsy doo. Let us now all bow down to his greater knowledge.

It’s a limit, not a target, on a thread about driving speed. On a thread on here yesterday about 154 people came out with this nugget.

Boobing - sounds like a weird sex act only seen in pornfilms