What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

I hate the assumption that you are wrong if you own anything other than Mumsnet's favourites.
My son has a Joie high chair and I am perfectly happy with it.

What the hell is ducks in a row and why have I never seen it written?!!

Personally I love having my ducks lined up!

Ducks in a row means get things sorted usually if your planning to leave your partner.

I have no children and no desire to have any right now but I really enjoy the line spotting threads.

What drives me NUTS is the "could I be pregnant?"

Have you had sex since your last period? Yes? Then you might be. Spend a pound and buy a test and then you will know. Not one single person on her can tell you that you are or are not pregnant. ARGH.

Also I once posted a thread saying I that everything smelt funny. What could be wrong with me. Specified in my OP that I was almost certainly 99.999999% sure I wasn't pregnant... 7 sodding pages of people telling me I was definitely pregnant to the point where I went to Tesco at 11pm at night worked up into a right frenzy. Never did find out what was wrong.

Reference to mother duck leading her ducklings in a orderly line

Ah, thanks! Genuinely had no clue.

@itsBritneyBeach oh my god totally agree. Anything along the lines of eleventy billion / shitgibbon / fucktrumpet / bollockybye as if we're all stumbling around a bloody Richard Curtis film!

People just typing 'this'. Not sure what it is meant to mean.

Great thread!!

"I'm embarrassed for you" (used where a poster thinks someone else is being unreasonable). No you're not, you're just being passive aggressive.

"Are you me ?" Aaargh, no obviously she's not you and it's not funny. Particularly over the tiniest similarity. Eg OP: "I have 2 DC". Responder: "Are you me ?"

"Praying for a sticky bean". Obviously can't criticise the sentiment, but what's wrong with "hope all goes well with the pregnancy"...?!

"GPs" - could be a doctor, a grandparent or a small furry animal...

For some reason I massively dislike DH, DS etc (particularly where DF can be father, friend or fiancé and is rarely clear which) but Ddog, Dcat and Dfish always raise a smile

I hate it when posters come along just to bring the mood down.

For example on the thread of people having a light hearted joke about their toddlers pissing them off, somebody came on to say something along the lines of "I haven't conceived yet and I think you're all being stupid, I'd love to have a toddler"

Also the "my trauma is bigger than YOUR trauma" game players 👎🏼

Not so much a MNism but my biggest bugbear is the repulsive sycophantic fawning over long term posters. Ugh ugh ugh, makes me think of a giant version of the bloody PTA

Op: aibu?
MN: yes
Op: oh but I've got SEN
MN: this should have been in your op
Op: and I've got MH issues
MN: this is beginning to sound like drip feeding
OP: and my mother is horrid

Gah, hate posters like that. Just give us all relevant info up front.

I think I have run out of enthusiasm for anything to do with parking (with or without diagrams) washing getting darked on together with spider willies etc...

Lately I am grateful for any OP that actually makes a bit of sense though.

‘What is your aibu?’ In a snippy when someone dares to start a thread about something that doesn’t fit this category.

Fuck offffffff

I don't think some people know there are any other topics other than AIBU TBF.

'For traffic'.

Sticky bean is horrific!!
I didn't know fawning over long time MNers was a 'thing'. That's very very sad. What's to fawn over?! That some stranger has been dicking about on a website for longer than you? Great. How would you even know who's been on here for ages? Surely you just know which user names you recognise from the point at which you started using the site...

I don't think some people know there are any other topics other than AIBU TBF

Yeah this is true. I wanted to post a random topic of conversation and browsed the topics untill I found the right board.

It had nothing to do with AIBU so I wouldn't have posted it here, regardless of the high traffic.

I would rather have one helpful reply in the appropriate topic than a hundred strange unhelpful ones in AIBU.

dietry requirements

What does sanpro even mean?!

I don't mind sanpro. What's the alternative? Feminine hygiene products? Or listing them- all the individual ones? Everyone knows what someone meand when they type 'sanpro' and it's quick.

I've always guessed sanitary product. But then I thought CF was cunty fucker, so might not be the best person to listen to.