DH comments about 'not working'

[LovelyBath77]

I'm a SAHM for two school age children and I also have mental health illness. Since they've been at school I have been getting remarks from DH about 'not working' and as if he is hard done to bacause he's 'at work' and the like.

I'm on meds and claiming PIP and cont based ESA (from last job) but he doesn't seem to understand and i think it makes me feel worse- I'd like to work, i'm well trained (to postgraduate level).

I also feel I do work, it isn't easy having MH issues and being on meds with side effects and just managing day to day with the children etc.

He doesn't seem to consider the benefits to be being at home, and that things could get a lot worse if I did work and try to balance everything, or the logistics involved (holidays etc). He's self employed and works all hours.

Seems to be a bit of a type A personality, always on about doing things and not just being. I'm not really like that. I think he feels being home is making me worse. It's not that simple though

Lyndsey - the OP has said that her review is due in two years time at which point the children will be at secondary school and hopefully she'll have had relatively stable MH for that time - so she sees that as a potential light at the end of the tunnel.

I'll give it a read. It's bipolar that I have, I'm the main breadwinner so my focus has always been about going back to work.

That being said I've been putting off TTC as I do worry that the hormones will mess everything up as we wouldn't be able to afford for me to take a long time off after birth (maybe 3 months max).

I know other PPs have already suggested but do think about volunteering...unlike paid work you can be 100% upfront about your MH and could find something that's just a couple of hours a week to begin with.

I have a friend who has been off work with severe depression and general anxiety disorder for 18 months and doing some volunteering has really helped her...partly around helping her manage her anxiety about working again and partly around helping her self esteem by doing something out of the house/for her and not just the DC/DH.

"I talked to him this morning and he has no memory of anything said yesterday shock due to drinking, apparently"

BULLSHIT! Hes gaslighting you If he got so drunk that he cant remember what he said last night then he wouldnt be fit or sober enough to go to work this morning.

Does he drive to work OP? Because he would still be too much over the limit to get behind the wheel this morning if he was so drunk he couldnt remember what he said.

So either that or he was bullshitting and is gaslighting you.

And i bet hes telling his colleugue how hes "put his foot down" at home.