Naked DH/neighbour complaint

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So - DH spent overnight yesterday alone. (Me and DC away for night). It is very warm where we are and he has no inhibitions about being naked. He spent most of the day either naked or in shorts, had a couple of showers to cool himself off. Slept with windows and curtains open.

A neighbour from across the road has just approached me to say that DH was 'deliberately' walking around naked. I said I wan't surprised he was naked and was she sure it was 'deliberate' (I thought she meant making eye contact with her/touching himself for e.g. but didn't ask for details - I was thrown by the approach). She thought it was deliberate/exhibitionist (can't remember wording). I said I would speak to him.

I asked DH if anything happened. He was confused, insisted he didn't do anything inappropriate and he was just hot and was enjoying the freedom to wander around "free and easy" . He is really upset and embarrassed. I think he was daft to wander around naked at front with curtains open (we have full height floor to ceiling windows) but don't believe he did anything sinister.

AIBU to think he should apologise to neighbour?

Or should he just quietly suffer in his own embarrassment (and draw the fucking curtains next time).

For wider context I have quite bad anxiety (on medication and awaiting CBT for it) so have difficulty gauging when something is a big deal or it is my thoughts spinning out of control (I was upset when I spoke to him and am finding it really difficult that the neighbours are thinking DH is a creep the minute me and DC are away). DH has been struggling with depression over the last couple of years and is very introverted.

You can get mirrored film put on our windows so people can't see in but you can see out. Then you can do as you please in your own home.

Next week it's going to be even hotter.

Perhaps he should open the window and let his cock rest on the windowsill to catch a nice breeze? Yes, yes, the street may be full of playing children, but it's his own home after all.......

So what in your view if it can't be proven he intended to cause distress or alarm then it's all fine for him to continually and deliberately expose his genitalia at his window?

Do you do that? Does your husband? I can't think of any other reason that you would think publicly exposing your genitalia is acceptable, unless you either do it or like a bit of that.

As PPs have said, the clueless man trope is wearing thin

Yes indeed, as is the 'he's very introverted'. He's an adult and has made these choices. He can take responsibility for the fallout. I would tell the neighbour to call the police if it ever happens again, and tell him that's what you've told her.

People seem to need reminding that in the evening, even if you have nets, if you have the lights on, it's like you're on a stage. People can see everything in your room, very clearly. Which is why I always close the curtains if I put a light on! The neighbour didn't have to be creeping on him, she just had to be in the general vicinity when he put the lights on. No, I do not want to see some random bloke sitting around naked all evening, illuminated in glorious technicolour, thanks.

Hahaa I can see both sides really .

However, burning question, how do you clean those huge windows OP?

He should have drawn the curtains (or pulled down the blinds) perhaps but then again , neighbour must have been looking to notice .

Oh well, lesson learned I suppose.

Flasher is doing it deliberate for sexual gratification.
OPs DH from info given so far is doing it because of hot weather. Also my understanding is he's just pottering around the house naked, not standing for prolonged periods of time in front of window.

Bit of weird projecting going on in this thread and sad how some people are so uptight about a body.

Sorry, read some of the thread now .

Don't mean to sound flippant (just noticed your anxiety and your DHs depression) .
Try not to worry about it , probably be down on some other neighbour next week to complain about.

I don't understand why some posters don't see the contradiction in the idea of a man waiting for his wife and children to be out of the house so he can be 'free and easy' hmm but thinking it's fine to leave the curtains open for everybody else's wives and children to see him naked.

This exactly ^^

I don’t have a problem with nudity at home but context is key here.

We all happily wander about naked (parents and children) in front of each other.

But I wouldn’t expect a guest (even a Grandparent) to do so. And we of course cover up if we have guests.

My D.C. know what their father looks like naked, that is not at all the same thing as seeing Mr Smith next door naked on his sofa on full display for the neighbourhood all day.

The fact that he only does it when his family are away makes it much more open to question.

Given how averse people are to complaining about stuff I would tend to assume that this isn’t the first time this has occurred.

But some nets and speak to your husband.

I really would like to know If the people posting it's ok, also expose their own genitalia at their windows when they know the neighbours can and are seeing them, and not just in passing, but repeatedly and for extended periods expose their genitalia deliberately to their neighbours.

It's a shame that people are so prudish that one can't walk around naked in one's own home but yes he should apologise and next time keep the curtains drawn (they were probably open to let in the breeze but there has to be a limit if reasonableness). If this is a rfylar occurabce I would suggest getting some shutters to jet in the breeze but keep your DH hidden from the world.

This has nothing to do with being uptight about bodies. I'm very relaxed about nudity.
This is about OP's DH behaving inappropriately and certain people bending over backwards to make excuses for men showing their genitals in public. And trying to justify why everyone else has to change their behaviour (ie walk about with their eyes closed) so OP's DH can do whatever he wants. No wonder there are so many entitled men in the world.

Glass is really cool to the touch. I'm quite hot today, so I might press my bare boobs onto the lounge window. It's my own home after all......

4littlebirds how do you (or any of us) know he didn't have a wankfest after knowing he'd been spotted? Not saying he did but just playing devil's advocate!

It's easy to forget that people can - and will - look in through your windows. One night I looked out of my bedroom window before I got into bed, I was topless but it was 1am and no-one on the street, then 10 minutes later some bloke was tapping on my front door and calling to me through the letterbox! I've been careful ever since. Anything less than vest and pants stays behind curtains or at least away from windows.

I would also hasten to point out that it isn't a case of either clueless or deliberately flashing. It may be the case that he really couldn't be arsed getting dressed but had to walk past and window so he did it quickly hoping that no one would see (not that I have ever done that or anything).

It's easy to forget that people can - and will - look in through your windows. One night I looked out of my bedroom window before I got into bed, I was topless but it was 1am and no-one on the street, then 10 minutes later some bloke was tapping on my front door and calling to me through the letterbox! I've been careful ever since. Anything less than vest and pants stays behind curtains or at least away from windows.

That's awful . .What was he knocking for ?
Was it to inform you or to ask for a personal experience ?

I have sometimes noticed people over the back to me , in their conservatory, naked as the day they were born, but its a glance as I might have heard my cat jump the fence, or noted their floodlight on in the garden etc. but certainly was not intentional and nor would I knock at their door.

Get some full length curtains printed with a photo of his arse, 1 cheek on each curtain - so when pulled together create a full moon

This reminds me of when I got a massive bollocking off an elderly woman who was staying in the room below me and I was walking around our balcony (wooden flooring with gaps between planks) with no knickers. She nearly ruined my Caribbean trip with her whinging.

I think if I was OP I’d have a very strong word with the husband about closing the curtains at the front of the house. It has been very hot recently, wandering round in the altogether is fine but not with floor to ceiling windows at the front.

I don’t think it’s necessarily the same as the other thread where the men was wanking and wanting to be seen doing so. If he did it again then it would be serious.

clockworklime

This is not your problem. Obviously if your 'dear' husband was lovely the neighbours would have approached him directly.

Is your husband going to walk around naked in front of his children when they are teenagers? Does he walk around naked in front of visitors?

He needs to understand boundaries. Get his dad or another male relative/good friend -does he have any? to have a word with him.

@typicallynorthern she must have had a really good look to note that you weren't wearing knickers. Just the mental imagine of a retiree putting on her glasses to squint at the gaps in the ceiling do that she could check was up your skirt... I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I think it's disrespectful to neighbours/people walking past to be completely naked in front of your windows. How hard is it to put a pair of underpants on?
Sounds like it was innocent enough but I can understand why your neighbour was alarmed. Nobody wants to see their neighbour's genitals!

No need to apologise but he could say 'oops if you saw more than you wanted' if they bump into each other.
Get some net curtains.