Naked DH/neighbour complaint

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So - DH spent overnight yesterday alone. (Me and DC away for night). It is very warm where we are and he has no inhibitions about being naked. He spent most of the day either naked or in shorts, had a couple of showers to cool himself off. Slept with windows and curtains open.

A neighbour from across the road has just approached me to say that DH was 'deliberately' walking around naked. I said I wan't surprised he was naked and was she sure it was 'deliberate' (I thought she meant making eye contact with her/touching himself for e.g. but didn't ask for details - I was thrown by the approach). She thought it was deliberate/exhibitionist (can't remember wording). I said I would speak to him.

I asked DH if anything happened. He was confused, insisted he didn't do anything inappropriate and he was just hot and was enjoying the freedom to wander around "free and easy" . He is really upset and embarrassed. I think he was daft to wander around naked at front with curtains open (we have full height floor to ceiling windows) but don't believe he did anything sinister.

AIBU to think he should apologise to neighbour?

Or should he just quietly suffer in his own embarrassment (and draw the fucking curtains next time).

For wider context I have quite bad anxiety (on medication and awaiting CBT for it) so have difficulty gauging when something is a big deal or it is my thoughts spinning out of control (I was upset when I spoke to him and am finding it really difficult that the neighbours are thinking DH is a creep the minute me and DC are away). DH has been struggling with depression over the last couple of years and is very introverted.

He's in his own house!

If he was in the garden she might have a point but he is in his own house. Tell her to stop peeping at your husband.

first bracket FIRST BRACKET. Sorry, I’ve had no sleep! Am not calling your DH a flashing perv.

Oh for God's sake

Apparently you must dress to avoid prying eyes even in your own home now?
There is a far cry from standing in the window shaking your penis yelling woohoo please come and look ...to a man who happens to prefer being naked

Yes fine standing in the window...no that's inappropriate because kids may see

But unless he was standing and putting on a show then people need to mind their own

My DP prefers to be naked, he is never naked in front of the DC and always at the very least has trousers on but when it's just him and I he doesn't bother with clothes

Now yes of course he doesn't stand in the window and wouldn't do it if there was a chance of kids seeing him but dear Lord if a female neighbour complained that she had looked in OUR home and seen him naked I'd be asking her why she thought it was appropriate to look and b : why she had any say on his clothing

And as for being deliberate I suspect he laugh and tell her not to flatter herself

Not every man is deliberately trying to expose himself to every woman

I hate this sodding assumption that every male is a pervert....it really worries me for my two ds when they get older...i bang on about respect to women and I'm beginning to wonder how much risk my DC will be at for being accused of God knows what for simply existing as men

He’s entitled to do what he wants in the privacy of his own home, but not to inflict it on everyone else. He was lucky that no one called the police!

Meh I think she shouldn't be looking

We live in a terraced house (so big bay windows which you can see into easily from the street). Lots of people look in when they walk past (and I do too to other houses - must be an instinctive nosiness!)

I wouldn't sit in the front room naked but sometimes I'll nip in there quickly. If someone happens to be walking past at that moment and looks in and sees me, well that's their problem - if they can't cope they shouldn't look in.

If he was pressing his naked self up against the windows, she might have a point...

Deliberately parading naked in front of the windows is not on. But occasionally passing the windows while starkers? I don't think that's a problem.

My dad used to be like this, he worked shifts so often had the house to himself and so fully indulged it and used to let it all hang loose as well...that is until one incident where he was reported to the police for indecent exposure and taken in for questioning. No arrests were ever made, but I think the experience taught him to be far more careful. Just because you're at home, it doesn't mean nobody can see you!

About to arrive at work so won't be back on (am going to try to move on so most likely won't be back).

Can't do a diagram (sorry!)

I can guarantee though there will be no repeat (with curtains open).

Thank you everyone for giving me a bit more clarity on what is/isn't/might be seen as problematic.

He was an absolute fool not to have closed the curtains if he wanted to wander round naked. Especially in an overlooked terrace with floor to ceiling windows and neighbours opposite. If he wanted the curtains open and light coming in then he should have just slipped a pair of shorts on. Not difficult.

Go naked in your own home if you want to by all means, but don't inflict it on the rest of the street, if that is the type of terrace it is.

He is embarrassed now, but maybe that means he will think properly the next time.

Guidance from the Crown Prosecution Service: "In the absence of any sexual context and in relation to nudity where the person has no intention to cause alarm or distress it will normally be appropriate to take no action unless members of the public were actually caused harassment, alarm or distress (as opposed to considering the likelihood of this)."

I think he is lucky she told you and not the police. Yes you have a right to do what you wish in your own home, but exposing yourself at your floor to ceiling window where neighbours can easily see in, isn't one of them. No matter how many people pretend it is.

If you've floor to ceiling windows, there is no way yout husband is so oblivious he didn't know people could see him, as such he was deliberately exposing himself. Unless he has significant additional needs and learning difficulties he knew.

And yes. Likely others saw him, but let's be honest, that's what he wanted.

But OP already said they have floor to ceiling windows which were completely uncovered at the time. That's a bit different to standard/victorian windows.

While obviously strangers on the internet are bound to know better than me about the appearance of my street, I am obliged here to inform you that quite a lot of my neighbours' Victorian windows and some of my own are practically floor-to-ceiling (they're short at the ceiling by just under a foot), and take up almost the full width of the room.

Sorry but it wasn't that hot that he need to be completely starkers.
Wasn't it? Were you there?

But unless he was standing and putting on a show then people need to mind their own
Basically, this.

Eh. He wasn’t displaying himself in the window holding a sign that said ‘Peen here.’

We only share a sight path with one house. I’m sure they’ve seen us walking around the bedroom naked but then we have see them bonking and we close our blinds to do that! You just look away, surely?

^Sorry but it wasn't that hot that he need to be completely starkers.
Wasn't it? Were you there?^

Are you in the UK op? because if you are then yes, I'm in the hottest but and it really wan't naked weather.

Bullshit.

You cannot be in front of your window exposing your self repeatedly to your neighbours. The police would be round your door telling you to friggen shut your curtains or cover up.

Always in these threads it's the same thing.

Shagging in front of your windows, don't look...
Flashing your cock at your neighbours? It's all, good, just don't look. He's in his own home. You're the problem, just avert your gaze, he can get his cock out in front of his window whenever he pleases.

No it's not ok.

Sorry but it wasn't that hot that he need to be completely starkers. Yes, it was in his own home but seriously when you have floor to ceiling windows then you need to apply some common sense! Not only for your neighbours but for anybody passing by - visitors, kids delivering leaflets, etc - no one wants to be faced with his bits. He's right to feel embarrassed.

It has been hot here for weeks, last night was particularly roasting and we both slept naked without a sheet over us.

My DP prefers to be naked, he is never naked in front of the DC and always at the very least has trousers on

I find this post contradictory. On the one hand you're saying there's nothing wrong with wandering around naked at home, but on the other saying your DP wouldn't do it in front of the DC. Either you think it's ok or you don't. How do we know this neighbour didn't have children that saw OPs DH? Or that other children didn't see him. Remember, floor to ceiling windows! I don't think anyone has called this man a pervert but in the scenario described, he was in the wrong. And the neighbours shouldnt have to avoid looking out of their windows all day because they dont want to see his bits!

It's hot and I'm sure he just wasn't thinking! I went outside Garden topless yesterday because was expressing milk and took me 5 minutes to realise people could see if they were looking from opposite upstairs windows! I've never run in the house so quick! It's just too hot to wear clothes! Tell your neighbour to beggar off and stop looking in your window!

I'd say you're lucky your NDN came to you and not the Police.

Get some nets if your DH likes to make an exhibition of himself.

{{shudders}}

Why didn't the neighbour close her own curtains?

Agree, the whole tell your neighbours not to look out their windows is beyond ludicrous.

And Feb, you ran in after five mins, this dude was at it all day.

I don't know where in the U.K. he is, but i don't think anywhere was so hot he had to expose his junk at the window to his neighbours.

Introverted, I don't think so, exhibitionist more like.

When the cats away..,

Really don’t get the outrage over a naked body, it’s just a fucking body, we’ve all got one. Pretty sure most of us have seen a willy, even if it’s just on the telly.
Unless he’s was doing something more untoward, walking around in your own home naked no big deal. You’ve said she’s not directly opposite, so presumably she can easily look away if she’s that delicate. Equally you can get your husband to be more mindful, by drawing the curtains.
Also I’ve read countless threads on here about female neighbours sunbathing naked, one that sticks to mind is where the op had teenage sons and general consensus was that op was one with problem.

Are you in the UK op? because if you are then yes, I'm in the hottest but and it really wan't naked weather.

i don't think anywhere was so hot he had to expose his junk at the window to his neighbours.

I'm in London and, although no one in my household is into going around naked, it's certainly IMO been hot enough to. One can only assume the OP's DH found it hot enough as well. It is pointless nit-picking about the exact temperature and when it's hot enough to be naked; it'll be different for everyone.

And stuff like 'he can get his cock out in front of his window whenever he pleases', 'Likely others saw him, but let's be honest, that's what he wanted' and 'expose his junk at the window to his neighbours' is just prurient on the part of those writing it and says a lot more about your minds than anything else. Why do you assume that if someone hasn't any clothes on they must necessarily be motivated by sexual/pervy urges? The guy was hot and he didn't feel like putting clothes on. End of.

I'm not sure most little girls have seen willies, either in real life or tv. and I'm not sure I'd have wanted my daughter to see the neighbour exposing himself at the window, nor would I want to see it as a grown woman, and yes I have seen a willy before.

Do you know there is no children in the vicinity, none were visiting? Because as much as you just see it as a body, I see a man deliberately exposing himself.

Reminds me a bit of Friends and "ugly naked guy".

Ask him how he would feel if the neighbours took photographs of him and posted them on the internet.