To want the double bed no the twin?

[DramaLamasunited18]

Long story short.
On an extended family holiday. Sharing with an in law and their child, DH and our two children.
The house has one double bedroom and two twins. All kids are between 8and 12.
Unlawful got there first and wanted the double bedroom for them and their child to share the bed and put me a DH in twins with our kids in the other twin.
Dh and I had to be a bit blunt in requesting that we share the double bed.
In law was a obviously put out.
WIBU?

No I disagree, child is a minor.

Yep. Adults get priority over kids, and two adults get priority over one adult and one kid.

Will your DC share your en suite bathroom, DramaLama, or will your in-law be expected to share the other bathroom with your DC as well as her own? As you had first choice of the bedrooms, I think it should be the former. At least leave your in-law and child private use of the other bathroom, and have your DC share your bathroom.

I think this is a very fair compromise, otherwise she and her daughter are having to share with three children while you have the luxury of an exclusive toilet and bathing facility.

I get that they got there first... But why on earth would they want to share anyway

OP you can still have sex in a single bed, don't worry

Yep. Adults get priority over kids, and two adults get priority over one adult and one kid.

This ^^

I think it's pretty immature of her to put her stuff in the room, wait til you got there, say "oh do you want the double room?" and then huff about it when you say you do. She was obviously hoping to back you into letting her have it rather than just communicating properly.

Then again, I find it quite an alien concept that adults would fight over who got the better room - in my family, it would have been more like my parents and the other parent/s fighting to insist the other party got the better of two options. They wouldn't have dreamt of picking a few hours before another group of people got there, or suggesting that any of us should have availed of the best sleeping/bathroom arrangement at 8 years old - regardless of who had paid what. They also wouldn't have taken the double if someone else had even hinted that they might want it.

TatianaLarina

In the UK, a standard double bed is 4'6 wide. 5' wide is a king size.

YANBU.
Being the only couple, and 2 adults, I would have thought it pretty obvious you should get the double.

Yabu I’m a single parent and I am always always expected to take the shittest room and it totally pisses me off! The double rooms are always bigger, better and usually with ensuites.
I share a bed with my child and I’ve always paid the same per head as everyone else but I will usually be stuck in the smallest room. The tiny box room or even split in a totally different room from my child or even given the sofa bed most the time. The cpls don’t even consider that they should be on the lumpy pull out sofa beds... because of course, they’re more important than me!???

This happens literally everytime I holiday or go away with couples and I suck it up everytime but to be frank last time I told myself to value myself more and remember to discuss this first before ever booking with couples again.

And I just want you to know that it feels very demoralising to be treated like that! You are not more important because there is two of you!
You could have pushed your two single beds together.

You are not more important because there is two of you!

I'm on your side Fenwick

Yes, absolutely agree with you, @Fenwickdream

I don’t think YABU, it’s the polite thing to do to let a couple share.

We went on a big family holiday a few years back, arrived to find a single woman had plonked herself in one of the doubles and politely ‘showed’ us our twin room. Me and dp were rather put out but said nothing- 4 couples on the holiday and we were the only ones in twin beds.

Also lead to a wonderful moment where Dp and I were having sex on the single, broke the boards and my sweet, naive mum came blundering in offering to help fix it.

You are not more important because there is two of you!

But two adults are more important than one adult and one child!! On what planet is a minor more important than an adult??

Gosh back in my day if my grandma came to stay I'd be on the floor!

Exactly Sarah or on the camp bed etc

But two adults are more important than one adult and one child!! On what planet is a minor more important than an adult??

So, basically, you're saying that two adults are more important than one adult, simply because they are a couple?

Nice.

@WanderingWavelet no not specifically because they're a couple but because there are two.

And because the other is a minor. I don't think minors trump adults. But clearly some on the bizarre world of mumsnet do.

This is exactly why I won't holiday with friends. Everything is a drama. Who sleeps where, whose kids get up too early and disturbs everyone else, who does the most tidying and cleaning, who is the messiest, who takes too long to get ready, who won't eat in the same restaurant as everyone else..

Holidaying with family or friends is much too tense and stressful.

I would choose the twin beds tbh. Whenever I book a hotel or holiday I ask for twin beds. It's much more restful to sleep without someone turning, grunting, farting and groping. I'd book separate rooms if I could afford it. That would be my idea of a holiday. Restful sleep and mumsnetting as long as I want to reading my book into the night with nobody whinging.

While I agree that it makes sense for the couple to share a bed, and I think most people would default to that, no ones marriage is going to fail because of spending two nights in separate beds.
(Some people have different bedrooms to their partner)

It’s true that a child would go on the floor over an adult I get that of course and perhaps this situation is slightly different as this woman has a husband so getting the shit room would be new to her too but if I am a single parent, and I have no choice in that matter I cannot constantly be treated as inferior because I don’t have a partner to make me as strong a force as another two adults. I went on holiday a month ago with family. 2 cpls and me and my son- 2 double rooms, 1 tiny box room and one fold out slab of a leather sofa bed not big enough for two. I wasn’t even given a choice! Yet my son won’t sleep without me! So we had to both sleep in the single or both on the leather slab single in the lounge. Why? The couples CAN sleep apart for a cpl of nights far easier but it didn’t occur to them because...why? I am inferior to them? Never again. So rude and it happens all the time.

I wouldn’t bloody dream of making anyone share a single bed because I thought I was so special I couldn’t break from my superior high standards and sleep in the single myself away from my partner for a few days if I were part of the couple!

And it’s these kind of things that make being a single parent so shot. You don’t say anything but you just want to creep off and cry about how you’re not the person you used to be because people disrespect you as lesser no matter how much they say they don’t they prove it with stuff like that.

Fenwickdream

try being the single person in a holidaying group of couples & families - lucky to get a bed at all, rarely one's own bedroom

Not rtft but to those saying a child is less important than an adult makes me sad, a child still has needs, wants, feelings and should be heard, being an adult just means making bigger mistakes, you don’t automatically turn into a better person than a child just because you’re older.
I think you’re both unreasonable, she shouldn’t have assumed first pick and you shouldn’t have made them move.
Unless it’s a similar situation to me where my son has to be in my bed and we would need the en suite so not to bother others etc