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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want the double bed no the twin?

160 replies

DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 13:20

Long story short.
On an extended family holiday. Sharing with an in law and their child, DH and our two children.
The house has one double bedroom and two twins. All kids are between 8and 12.
Unlawful got there first and wanted the double bedroom for them and their child to share the bed and put me a DH in twins with our kids in the other twin.
Dh and I had to be a bit blunt in requesting that we share the double bed.
In law was a obviously put out.
WIBU?

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 16/07/2018 14:59

She was very rude to take the double bed, it wouldn’t occur to me to do so in the circumstances.

However, once she’s made the choice I would just slum in in the twins and push them together.

NauticalDisaster · 16/07/2018 14:59

YANBU your in-law is weird to think that she should have the dou le and you and your husband the twin, very odd.

Original poster
DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 15:00

Whole family dynamics being what they are it isn’t likely we will ever repeat the trip.
When it was booked it was as inlaws other half isn’t coming you can share with them in the three bedroom and everyone else in the other house. Senior family member booked it all and everyone apart from i law assumed they would be in twin beds.

Obviously the majority think that wanting to share a bed with your husband is an unreasonable request and first come first server rules.

I’ll chalk it up to experience and see if they need me to smooth things over.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/07/2018 15:01

Are you worried about sexy runtimes being curtailed?

My DH and I have managed all sorts of hanky-panky in single beds! (And I am not a small woman.)

CocoaGin70 · 16/07/2018 15:01

I'd have been too embarassed to turf them out of their room. Maybe it was deliberate so she didn't feel the odd one out??

SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/07/2018 15:01

*funtimes, not runtimes

Original poster
DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 15:03

For clarification she asked if we wanted the double when we arrived and we said yes- she then acted put out for a bit.

OP posts:
Trialsmum · 16/07/2018 15:06

Ffs some people just want an argument on MN. It’s pathetic 🙄. Of course a couple would expect to share a bed. And of course a parent and child should expect seperate beds. It’s not like the child is a baby or toddler. Imagine the reponses if it was the other way round.

LoveInTokyo · 16/07/2018 15:06

Look at at this way.

Six people. Two people are part of a couple and share a double bed with each other every night. The other four are not travelling as part of a couple and do not share a double bed with each other every night.

Three bedrooms. One double, two twin.

It's bloody obvious that the couple should have the double and the OP's in-law was being bloody weird and unreasonable to have taken the double in the first place knowing that the couple would then have to go in a twin.

And why on earth would you want to share a double bed with your 8-12 year old child, if you don't have to? That is weird in itself.

Purpleartichoke · 16/07/2018 15:07

Yabu

The space per person in a double bed is the same as the space in a babies crib. DH and I would be thrilled to take the twins if the other option was a double bed

Also, when DD was young, we often shared a bed while traveling. It just worked better. So I definitely requested a double when we were sharing accommodations with family because I would have gotten no sleep sharing a twin with her.

BrokenWing · 16/07/2018 15:07

been there before when we all arrived at a 7 bed villa together and while the reasonable of us got the bags out the car and had a leisurely look downstairs one couple snuck straight upstairs and laid claim to the best room in the house (huge, private balcony, 3 beds, jacuzzi bath and shower).

Pathetic and immature, but we left them to it and it wasn't until later they realised that the whole room although gorgeous was open plan (no windows or door on toilet/bathroom area) and they would have to share the shower with the rooms that only had baths that they changed their mind and tried to swap with anyone. By that time the rest of us had amicably agreed rooms, moved beds for those that needed 3 and didn't want to swap. They were mega pissed they were up first so others could use their ensuite shower, and had towels hung on 'their' balcony to dry. Karmas a bitch.

soupforbrains · 16/07/2018 15:17

I don't think you were being unreasonable at all.

in my mind with the people and layout of the house it would have been obvious that you and your DH would have the double bed.

I say that as a single parent who often holidays with extended family. I would never expect to take a double with my DS over a married couple. Personally I consider myself lucky if I'm not on a bottom bunk with DS when we're in cottagey sorts of arrangements!

susurration · 16/07/2018 15:18

I genuinely don't get the issue with pushing two singles together? I'd rather have a 'kingsize' made of two singles than a double. It's not like you were being banished to sleep in separate rooms!

WanderingWavelet · 16/07/2018 15:22

I really dislike the way couples think they have priority for these sorts of things.

FourFriedFlumps · 16/07/2018 15:25

I would think this is about sharing "family bathrooms"

We went away with a (single) friend for the weekend - I offered that friend the master suite so that the friend didn't have to share a bathroom with my child

Poptart4 · 16/07/2018 15:30

Why do you keep banging on about wanting to sleep with your husband?

Firstly you can push the twin beds together and will still be sleeping with him.

Secondly your only there for a weekend ffs. You'll survive sleeping 2 feet apart if you have to.

This is a conversation you should have had with inlaw before you went on holidays. It would have saved all this tension and bad feelings.

General rules in this situation is first come first served unless previously stated otherwise.

agedknees · 16/07/2018 15:32

Yanbu to want the double bed with your dh. Who would want to share a bed with an 8 year old child (especially in the hot weather).

Can’t believe the bashing the op is getting.

FatBarry · 16/07/2018 15:32

I know it's missing the point but I would be glad of two singles.

1 x double bed = 4ft 6 between 2

2 x twin beds = 3 ft each

Double beds are awfully small for two people especially when you're used to a superking

Allthewaves · 16/07/2018 15:36

I'd happy take twin after two weeks of non sleep in a double in holiday. (We have super king at home)

blackteasplease · 16/07/2018 15:48

I think it makes sense for them to have the en suite so there is naturally one bathroom foe your family and naturally one bathroom for yours, if she didn't mind sharing a bed with the dc, which I would dislike.

Ir was rude of you to assume and to think the you better bedroom (the one you all preferred) should go to you, as though they were just added extras in "your" rental. Also very rude to be blunt.

That said if I eas the IL I'd have wanted the twin so it's all subjective!

blackteasplease · 16/07/2018 15:50

I really dislike the way couples think they have priority for these sorts of things

^^

Also this

LoveInTokyo · 16/07/2018 15:55

I bet the child concerned would rather have their own bed than have to share a double with their mother as well.

She is putting her own selfish wants over what is logical and what suits everyone else.

Original poster
DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 16:15

Genuinely 😦.
If I had been the parent with one child in a house with a couple I wouldn’t have even considered the double an option ensuite or not.
Didn’t even think about it being the ‘better room’. They are all basic and they didn’t share a bathroom with our kids anyway.

There are much more family dynamics at play then this but far to outing.

OP posts:
Original poster
DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 16:16

I’ll accept I was BU.

OP posts:
Smallhorse · 16/07/2018 16:21

Ffs it’s about the ensuite! To say it hadn’t crossed your mind is ridiculous.

And first there gets to pick their room.

Being a couple doesn’t trump everything else

So YABU