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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want the double bed no the twin?

160 replies

DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 13:20

Long story short.
On an extended family holiday. Sharing with an in law and their child, DH and our two children.
The house has one double bedroom and two twins. All kids are between 8and 12.
Unlawful got there first and wanted the double bedroom for them and their child to share the bed and put me a DH in twins with our kids in the other twin.
Dh and I had to be a bit blunt in requesting that we share the double bed.
In law was a obviously put out.
WIBU?

OP posts:
flakesaretasty · 16/07/2018 14:20

Having to squeeze in a single bed with a child who won't sleep in a strange place without you is a pita.

They got there first, yabu.

Do you feel superior to this single parent because you're a couple?

GahWhatever · 16/07/2018 14:22

Of course a couple should get offered the double bed.
OP and family should share a bathroom to allow other smaller family some privacy (as you did).
It worked out best way logically .

LuluJakey1 · 16/07/2018 14:24

Why do you think you should have the double bed? They paid for two people and arrived first and chose their room. Sounds reasonable.

youknowwherethecityis · 16/07/2018 14:25

@raspberrysplit

I asked for advice once on splitting the cost of a family holiday. So many people thought it was unreasonable to split it any other way than by family unit, so splitting the full cost 3 ways meaning the family of 2 (who need one bedroom) would be paying the same as the family of 5 who need 2 or 3 bedrooms.

Seaweed42 · 16/07/2018 14:31

What age is the inlaws child? If the child is very young then yes they should have the double bed. I don't think single people should be discriminated against. The Double bed rooms in these holidays rooms are usually the best rooms, so first come first dibs.

Original poster
DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 14:35

I hadn’t even thought about the ensuite. 🙄
It is a tiny ‘house’ on one floor, three bedrooms two bathrooms and one large living/dining/lounge space.
I just wanted to sleep with my Husband.
In law isn’t single their spouse didn't Want to come away with the whole family. So no I don’t feel superior about that! Children are not babies and don’t have any phobias or foibles about sleeping in strange places.

The rest of the extended family were a bit 😒 about inlaw wanting the double bed.

The families didn’t have to share bathrooms. It didn’t cause an issue apart from that first hour.(much more extended family drama to deal with).

Genuinely didn’t consider that I wouldn’t be sleeping in bed with my husband if that was an option.

The daily mail are a bunch of wankers who need to fuck right off (before they put this in as a ‘news’ story)

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 16/07/2018 14:38

Why do some people think that its obvious that the couple should get the double (and best, ensuite master bedroom?). There were 3 rooms, each of which accommodate 2 people, and each of which was going to be fully occupied. So, since the inlaws (who were there first) chose the double, then clearly they felt that they would be more comfortable in the double. I can see plenty of reasons for this (the bigger room/the ensuite/preferring to share a double rather than a single especially if child likes to cosleep). OP and her husband would also prefer the double, for their own reasons, which I also understand. So it's equal. 2 groups of 2 people would both (unsurprisingly) prefer the best room which happends to be an ensuite double. Why does one set of two peoples wishes trump the other two peoples wishes? Surely first come, first served is sensible and fair and reasonable.

I can't believe that OP had the nerve to turf the others out! She had absolutely no entitlement to the best room, and someone else had already chosen it! That was so rude, and I'd be pretty upset if I was the one who had got there first. A twin room would accommodate OP and her DH perfectly well, she did not need the double, she just wanted the best room!

Original poster
DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 14:40

Apart from the beds and a door to an identical bathroom to the master the rooms were the same size!

OP posts:
Sillyjelly · 16/07/2018 14:40

I think given the bathroom set up it makes MORE sense for the inlaw and child to have the double with ensuite.

Double - 2 sleeping spots, bathroom designed for 2. They are a family of 2.

2 twins and family bathroom -4 sleeping spots, a bathroom designed for 4. You are a family of 4.

Also, to be kind to her too, after all couples always take the best deal! It is probably always her who gets shafted with sleeping arrangements as she's single. Must be depressing after a while. Treat her.

VulvaofSteel · 16/07/2018 14:41

she got their first. Not really for you to dictate how she sleeps.

LunaAzul · 16/07/2018 14:41

I would have wanted the twin room - why squeeze two into a double when you can have 3ft of space to yourself?!

I think turfing them out was rude.

Original poster
DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 14:42

She isn’t single her OH just didn’t come!

OP posts:
VulvaofSteel · 16/07/2018 14:42

just push the beds together. You can buy a little clip thing off amazon prime for a couple quid. Honestly I expect a child sleeping away from home needs to be with its mother more than you need to be next to your husband.

susurration · 16/07/2018 14:44

Push the singles together and voila! Kingsize bed!

(Guessing you're at center parcs?)

Feb2018mumma · 16/07/2018 14:46

We have a holiday in a few weeks and my sister wanted double bed with my neice and I wanted double bed for me, hubby and baby, ours was easier as in the past she has always had double bed with neice before my baby was born as she had 'the baby', so said was my turn. We are opposite to your family in that respect, always given double to mum and baby as me and my husband are old enough to push twins together whereas smaller children could fall down the middle!!!

Sillyjelly · 16/07/2018 14:47

sorry, I see she's not single.

I still think no two people, paying the same per person, have rights over another two people really.

You got there after her and didn't discuss in advance. Lesson learned for next time!

allertse · 16/07/2018 14:47

Tbh on a group holiday I think there's an automatic assumption that couples would want doubles and everyone else would rather not share a bed, unless otherwise stated in advance. So I think YANBU because by any sane logic she should have spoken up in advance if she wanted a double, as you wouldn't have guessed she would prefer one but it's not rocket science to realise a couple would want a double bed.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 16/07/2018 14:47

It was really rude of your in laws to pitch up first and pick a bedroom without consulting you or the person who had booked it.

If I were in accommodation with two twins and a double I would assume the double had been booked for the couple as that makes most sense.

If I wanted to be a CF and get dibs on the bedroom I wanted I would of course put all my stuff in there first and then get arsey when asked to move!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/07/2018 14:48

Does she sleep with her child at home and how old is he/she?

Original poster
DramaLamasunited18 · 16/07/2018 14:50

All kids are over 8.

OP posts:
FlyingDandelionSeed · 16/07/2018 14:52

I can see why you assumed that they would want seperate beds and that you would get the double.

I can't see why when you realised your assumption was wrong, and that they did want the double, that you thought you had the right to push them out.

Next time talk about your assumptions before you book! If getting a double is important to you and there's only one in the house make sure everyone agrees you will get it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/07/2018 14:53

Sorry yes you put that in your OP.
Hmm I think I agree with you. It's definitely a bit thoughtless to take the double. Could she have just not thought about it?

Spam88 · 16/07/2018 14:54

I love how unrealistic Mumsnet is sometimes 😁 surely most people would let a couple have the double bed? Only reason I can think of that she wouldn't have is if the layout of the rooms is such that the two twin rooms are away from the double.

ApolloandDaphne · 16/07/2018 14:57

In the normal world it would be usual for the couple to get the double bed and the parent and child would take the single bedded room.

mrsm43s · 16/07/2018 14:59

Apart from the beds and a door to an identical bathroom to the master the rooms were the same size!

That's not really relevant. It was the preferred room for your IL and their child and is was the preferred room for you and your DH. Therefore the best, most desirable room.

They got there first, and chose their room, they chose the one they wanted. You feel you have the entitlement to the room that they wanted because..? You may have wanted it, but so did they! Why do your wants trump theirs? They got there first! A couple can be perfectly well accommodated in a double room, you had no need of that room, just a preference for it. You were really rude to barge into their room and take it for yourself, and should apologise (and if you're still there, offer to swap rooms back!)