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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not split dds winnings.

325 replies

Damnivy · 16/07/2018 12:22

So my dd just won £105.
We as a family did a world cup sweep stake. There are alot of us, and we put £5 per adult/child in each. We were mostly all present when teams were drawn from a hat. So all was fair. Obviously who ever drew the winning team got the money. Was just a bit of fun.
So my dd won, she had frace. Everything good, everyone happy.
Exept my dad just sent a text to our family group saying he had drawn the money out and it was at his ready to be collected. SIL replys in group chat asking how much the kids have each??? Mum and dad both replied with laughing emoji things thinking she was making a cheeky joke. But no, she then text to ask is it just the smaller children it will be split between or older ones too? To this my dad replys no it's not being split, it's my dds money, she won it fairly. Then SIL is not happy saying how it's not fair, all the children will be so disappointed, and that it would just be greedy to keep it to herself.
No iv not replied as iv just seen all the text, and quickly spoke to my dad, he says it's up to my dd but he and mum don't think it should be split at all.
Now I have 4dcs and the dd that won is my youngest, she's only 3. She has no care for money, and wouldn't understand if it was split, but still, I had no intention of splitting it between my own dcs so why should I split it between them all?
I never really thought about it, just see it as that's dds winnings.
So wwyd? Am I being unreasonable to just let dd keep it and risk a family row in an otherwise happy family, over £105.
I doubt very much that they would have split it if it had of been there child or them that had won! There has never been any mention of this at all until now!

OP posts:
AprilShowers16 · 16/07/2018 12:51

That’s weird and kind f missed the point of a sweepstake. Could you reply something quite light that says ‘thanks we will put it in dds savings as we are saving for a ‘bike/climbing frame/whatever’ but she would love to treat all her cousins to an ice cream with her winnings’

DisturblinglyOrangeScrambleEgg · 16/07/2018 12:52

How odd - it was a sweepstake, that's how sweepstakes work!

Having said that, I might pick an activity that the 3 year old will enjoy and take all the kids - or get a sub to a local softplay or something - since it was an unexpected windfall.

MadMags · 16/07/2018 12:52

I actually wouldn’t be making any of those concessions, because I’d be making a point to SIL.

DisturblinglyOrangeScrambleEgg · 16/07/2018 12:52

(by all the kids, I mean yours, unless you do everything with your SIL normally)

myusernamewastakenbyme · 16/07/2018 12:52

Greedy cf....for the love of god do not share the winnings !!!

UrsulaPandress · 16/07/2018 12:53

Ha Ha Ha

Your SIL is mad.

weedoogie · 16/07/2018 12:53

buy your dd premium bonds.....

starlight2017 · 16/07/2018 12:55

You have a greedy sister who is using her children to emotionally blackmail you out of something belonging to a 3 year old.

Nasty.

BreakyPeg · 16/07/2018 12:55

Do not split it. SIL is a cheeky bitch. Put it away for your DD (bank account?) leave some out so she can pick a nice new toy.

BreakyPeg · 16/07/2018 12:56

Premium bonds is a very good idea.

AjasLipstick · 16/07/2018 12:56

Is she hinting for her DC to have a cut?? Cheek!

Say "You wish! You'd only take it and spend it on gin!" with a laughing face. And ignore all further reference.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 16/07/2018 12:56

Ignore SIL, she's trying it on.

ThrowThoseCurtainsWide · 16/07/2018 12:57

Your DD won that fair and square! Do not give anything to your SIL.

It's your choice how you help your DD spend it / or save it for when she's older x

starlight2017 · 16/07/2018 12:57

Yes, premium bonds. Though your sister will probably claim her share if your daughter won.

RavenWings · 16/07/2018 12:57

Don't split it, she's got sour grapes and is trying it on with you.

StellaHeyStella · 16/07/2018 12:58

The money belongs to your dd, she won it fair and square, all of it btw - I suspect if you put £5 aside for sweets to share between the children then that'd just get thrown back in your face.
All the kids need to learn that when you gamble you (mostly) lose your money, only a twat would message the National Lottery and tell them it's not fair if last week's jackpot winner doesn't share with them, what nonsense your SIL is spouting.
Nice try SIL but you are CF of the day.

KurriKurri · 16/07/2018 12:58

I think £100 fro DD £5 for shared sweets would have been a nice idea had SIl not demanded the money be split. Since she has and is being arsey I wouldn't even share five pounds. It's your DD's money - no one else's business what she or you (on her behalf) do with it.
Everyone gambled a fiver - if you can't take the loss or accept that someone other than you might win, don't gamble.

Does your SIL insist that rafffle winners share their prize with her? or hot foot it round to lottery winners houses just because she has also bought a ticket? Taking part does not entitle you to a share of the winnings.

Tell her to grow up and not be such a bad loser. What she is saying is that it wasn't sweepstake, it was just all the adults giving some money for the kids to share - you don't actually need a World Cup to do that.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 16/07/2018 12:58

SIL as in DB’s wife? Where does DB stand on this? Well back, I imagine.

Don’t do it. She gambled, she lost. Lesson learned for next time.

HotSauceCommittee · 16/07/2018 12:59

Tell her to fuck off, the greedy bitch.

thecatsthecats · 16/07/2018 13:00

Going against the grain here but if there the slightest risk of this causing bad feeling in the family I would split it
Family is very important to me and I would never fall out over money

I would never fall out over money either. So I would never be a greedy twat and try and nab someone else's winnings. Works both ways.

user56 · 16/07/2018 13:01

Very cheeky of her you are DNBU

OverTheHedgeHammy · 16/07/2018 13:02

What the hell is the point of a sweepstake if you then split the winnings?

I could understand if there were just a couple of children and you entered a bigger sweepstake that you might split it between 2 or 3 children, but this sweepstake has been kept to the family.

user1487194234 · 16/07/2018 13:03

OK I accept I am a lone wrong voice !

starlight2017 · 16/07/2018 13:04

Going against the grain here but if there the slightest risk of this causing bad feeling in the family I would split it

OMG! So people can just threaten sulks or anger and you give them cash?

nibblingandbiting · 16/07/2018 13:05

I would message back
Don’t be daft. Everyone who wanted to take part paid a fiver and chose a team. The winner gets the cash. Everyone who paid had an equal chance of winning. That’s how gambling works.

And as for keep the peace and family. Such nonsense said by people who are treated as doormats.