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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not split dds winnings.

325 replies

Damnivy · 16/07/2018 12:22

So my dd just won £105.
We as a family did a world cup sweep stake. There are alot of us, and we put £5 per adult/child in each. We were mostly all present when teams were drawn from a hat. So all was fair. Obviously who ever drew the winning team got the money. Was just a bit of fun.
So my dd won, she had frace. Everything good, everyone happy.
Exept my dad just sent a text to our family group saying he had drawn the money out and it was at his ready to be collected. SIL replys in group chat asking how much the kids have each??? Mum and dad both replied with laughing emoji things thinking she was making a cheeky joke. But no, she then text to ask is it just the smaller children it will be split between or older ones too? To this my dad replys no it's not being split, it's my dds money, she won it fairly. Then SIL is not happy saying how it's not fair, all the children will be so disappointed, and that it would just be greedy to keep it to herself.
No iv not replied as iv just seen all the text, and quickly spoke to my dad, he says it's up to my dd but he and mum don't think it should be split at all.
Now I have 4dcs and the dd that won is my youngest, she's only 3. She has no care for money, and wouldn't understand if it was split, but still, I had no intention of splitting it between my own dcs so why should I split it between them all?
I never really thought about it, just see it as that's dds winnings.
So wwyd? Am I being unreasonable to just let dd keep it and risk a family row in an otherwise happy family, over £105.
I doubt very much that they would have split it if it had of been there child or them that had won! There has never been any mention of this at all until now!

OP posts:
DinoSn0re · 16/07/2018 12:37

I definitely wouldn’t split it amongst the whole family. I would probably split it between my own children though, give them a nice day put together with some treats and then pop any leftover cash in their bank accounts.

TokyoSushi · 16/07/2018 12:37

Cheeky cow! It's a sweepstake, winter takes all!

Bluelady · 16/07/2018 12:38

Skinoncustard's spot on. This is a great life lesson for SiL's children. Shame it's one she doesn't seem to have learnt.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/07/2018 12:38

Ignore her. Mind boggling that she thinks you should split DDs money presumably because she's only 3.

TokyoSushi · 16/07/2018 12:38

Winner! No winter involved, although it might get a bit frosty Grin

FuckPants · 16/07/2018 12:39

Do not split it!

Trinity66 · 16/07/2018 12:39

I don't understand why she thought the winner would split their winnings? What's her logic there?

MissLingoss · 16/07/2018 12:39

I would split it between your own DC by using it for a nice treat for them all. I wouldn’t let a 3 year old have £105 that realistically, she won’t spend.

So if relatives give her money for birthdays and Christmas, do you not let her have that either, because she won't spend it? It should go in a savings account, so she can spend it when she's old enough, and so should this money.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 16/07/2018 12:39

Your SIL has earn herself a CF badge. That's what betting is all about - taking a risk. I'm sure Ladbrokes don't go around splitting the winning bet with all the loosing betters.

Sour grapes methinks.

DoJo · 16/07/2018 12:40

'We're not teaching our children that it's ok to steal from someone just because they're only 3'.

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 16/07/2018 12:40

No don’t split it! Clearly SIL doesn’t understand what a sweepstake is. Kids need to learn that in competitions there are winners and it won’t always be them.

CrispsAndDip · 16/07/2018 12:40

That is really cheeky.

Everyone had their own team, there is only one winner.

I can't believe the brass of it! There was definitely no discussion about sharing it? If you were all going to share it, what would be the point in even taking part? Confused

blackbirdbluebottle · 16/07/2018 12:42

Put it into her savings account and keep it until she is old enough to spend it wisely. She won that money so no need to split it with others

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 16/07/2018 12:43

It's a sweepstake. Does your SIL understand what that means? Maybe you could WhatsApp her a link to the OED definition?

notthisagain83 · 16/07/2018 12:44

How the hell do you come to the conclusion that the money should be split in the first place. If she as an adult won it she wouldn't split it with the other adults so make no sense.

I would either A) put it in DD's saving account if you have one or B) spend it on a nice family day (theme park, Zoo, trip to London, circus).

DO NOT SPLIT IT

UpstartCrow · 16/07/2018 12:44

Tell your SIL not to bet more than she can afford to lose.

NewGrandad · 16/07/2018 12:45

I wouldn't split it either but maybe next time you have a sweep split the winnings 75/25 between first and second. That's how I run them at work and no-one's complained yet.

ItsNachoCheese · 16/07/2018 12:45

Your dd had the winning team and therefore the money is rightly hers to do with as she pleases (within reason obvs). It is not for your sil to get her mitts all over

Huskylover1 · 16/07/2018 12:46

Who cares if her kids will be disappointed? They had a gamble and didn't win. By sharing the winnings, you are not teaching them a valuable life lesson. In a sweepstake there is one winner. You can't and shouldn't shield children from this.

This is making me think about when some Primary schools stopped having Sports Day, because it wasn't fair on the kids who didn't win any races. Boo fucking hoo. What sort of fuckery is this?

MrsMotherHen · 16/07/2018 12:46

do not be splitting that money.

Readyfortheschoolhols · 16/07/2018 12:47

'Family' doesn't give them to right to swindle your dd out of her own cash!
Just send a laughing emoji to anyone who has mentioned sharing it...
Though about time there was a cf emoji!!

walkoutthedoor · 16/07/2018 12:48

Wow ur sil is cheeky as fuck! I like the £100 for daughter £5 for sweets for the kids...

sillyoldowl · 16/07/2018 12:48

She can't be serious

ThisCannotBe · 16/07/2018 12:49

Cheeky fuckery of the highest order OP. Hope your daughter thoroughly enjoys her winnings!

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 16/07/2018 12:51

Did the £5 stake come out of your DD's own money was it yours? If hers, then bank it for her. If yours, I don't see why you cant split it on a treat/nice day out for your own DCs. SIL however can get stuffed.