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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not split dds winnings.

325 replies

Damnivy · 16/07/2018 12:22

So my dd just won £105.
We as a family did a world cup sweep stake. There are alot of us, and we put £5 per adult/child in each. We were mostly all present when teams were drawn from a hat. So all was fair. Obviously who ever drew the winning team got the money. Was just a bit of fun.
So my dd won, she had frace. Everything good, everyone happy.
Exept my dad just sent a text to our family group saying he had drawn the money out and it was at his ready to be collected. SIL replys in group chat asking how much the kids have each??? Mum and dad both replied with laughing emoji things thinking she was making a cheeky joke. But no, she then text to ask is it just the smaller children it will be split between or older ones too? To this my dad replys no it's not being split, it's my dds money, she won it fairly. Then SIL is not happy saying how it's not fair, all the children will be so disappointed, and that it would just be greedy to keep it to herself.
No iv not replied as iv just seen all the text, and quickly spoke to my dad, he says it's up to my dd but he and mum don't think it should be split at all.
Now I have 4dcs and the dd that won is my youngest, she's only 3. She has no care for money, and wouldn't understand if it was split, but still, I had no intention of splitting it between my own dcs so why should I split it between them all?
I never really thought about it, just see it as that's dds winnings.
So wwyd? Am I being unreasonable to just let dd keep it and risk a family row in an otherwise happy family, over £105.
I doubt very much that they would have split it if it had of been there child or them that had won! There has never been any mention of this at all until now!

OP posts:
candypaps · 17/07/2018 18:13

SIL sounds like she's jealous and she's using kids as an excuse to vent! Don't split it. Just explain to DD it's entirely up to her if she wants to share it. Give her the idea but don't do it for her, it's hers, fair and square and up to her if she wishes to share it, everyone knew the terms. xxx

lily2403 · 17/07/2018 18:16

No it’s your DD money, regardless of age put it in her piggy bank, SIL is cf

pollymere · 17/07/2018 18:22

Sorry, missed your post about ordering the trampoline! Glad she's happy.

deenagh · 17/07/2018 18:28

Surely, the majority of those involved in the sweepstake would have already known before Sunday that they weren't going to win, and already had time to have been "disappointing" at loosing?

Sparklyglitter · 17/07/2018 18:34

Your daughter won it fair and square lucky her! Smile weird SIL! Don’t share, if you cave in god knows what she will come up with next time!!!

Cagliostro · 17/07/2018 18:35

Fantastic update! Hope they enjoy the trampoline :)

Cagliostro · 17/07/2018 18:42

And starlight I’m sorry your mum did that, it’s horrible, and yes it is also poor parenting in that it doesn’t teach financial management (or manners it seems) to the one who always takes.

We had a similar thing with my DSDs - one used to babysit for us a few hours a fortnight, she refused cash but we paid for a particular membership for her instead which she loved. Their GM immediately set up one for her sister as it wasn’t fair Confused. That was part of a lifelong favouritism issue :( fairness indeed Angry “the same” doesn’t always equal “fair”, not at all

singadream · 17/07/2018 18:44

CF

GlomOfNit · 17/07/2018 18:50

Is it only me who thinks that a) it's a bit weird having a family sweepstake for the WC (I thought that was just workplaces and maybe groups of friends) and that b) double-weird to include children in it as young as 3? Confused

Maybe so, but I still think it's an odd situation, full-stop.

PuppyMonkey · 17/07/2018 18:52

As always with a CF, just text back the following:

"Lol."

oboyoboyoboy · 17/07/2018 18:56

Our dog won our family sweepstake 😆. My parents suggested splitting it between the kids (my 3 boys). I told them and they were horrified. The dog won it fair and square in their eyes and will be getting a couple of new toys and treats with his winnings ⚽️ Vive la France 🇫🇷

GeorgeIII · 17/07/2018 18:57

Has someone suggested that DD buys a little sweetie (the emphasis being on little) for all her cousins then stashes the rest in the bank towards uni/ a car when she's older. Grin

Holidayshopping · 17/07/2018 18:57

Good outcome but how odd of your sister in law in the first place?!

Lifestyleinlondon88 · 17/07/2018 19:03

I don’t think it’s weird at all Glam, it’s great to get the family involved and the sweepstake adds to the excitement for some Smile I’m not a huge football fan but loved to see how everyone was excited and joined in our friend groups sweepstake (and would if the family had done one) Grin

Findingdotty · 17/07/2018 19:17

Just reply - the winnings are not being split as that isn't how a sweepstake works.

StroppyWoman · 17/07/2018 19:21

SIL's a cheeky rotter.
I'd either bob it in savings for DD or buy something she'd get pleasure from along with the other kids like a slide or a subscription to something fun (annual membership to Eureka/swimming club/whatever)

Pumpkinbell · 17/07/2018 19:26

Don’t split it keep it for your DD!!! She picked she won she deserves it.. me being me though i wouldn’t put it in her bank I would let her buy herself something with it then she can show off about it too let her enjoy it x Bear

Oxfordblue · 17/07/2018 19:35

Don't say sorry! OP is NOT sorry that she's going to prevent her Sil from effecting robbing DD's winnings. What a cheek she has! Hmm

theredjellybean · 17/07/2018 19:40

absolutely do not split it...this kind of behaviour from parents is really aggravating our snowflake generation society.

sure the other children are probably disappointed their teams did not win, but lesson in life ...you don't always win !
Nothing about fairness..as my mum would say ' well life ain't fair'

If they get a share what does it teach them ? that they can expect mummy to shout loudly everytime life doesnt go their way, and that they are entitled to anything and everything...irrespective of whether they have won it or earnt it.

i didn't win the lottery last week..should i ask the winner to share with me cus its not fair ????

Nomorechickens · 17/07/2018 19:43

oboyoboyoboy Grin

MissDaisy18 · 17/07/2018 19:47

Great point!

FoodologistGirl · 17/07/2018 19:51

Don’t split. I remember winning on the grand national at a similar age and thought it was the best thing only £5 but it was all mine. She won it fair and square. Tell your sister that it’s a life lesson for all the kids winners or losers.

Jellybabie3 · 17/07/2018 20:11

Madness. Your DD won. Celebrate by doing something nice and bank half. SIL is being ridiculus!!

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 17/07/2018 20:14

I hate that emotional manipulation "the kids will be so disappointed". If I told DS he got to keep all his cousin's birthday presents he'd be very disappointed if his cousin then said no. That would be no one's fault but mine.

viques · 17/07/2018 20:21

We had a sweep where I work, the winner had about £160 , he was a bit embarrassed as he has only just started working there so said he would take everyone out for a drink , we all said no, buy a couple of cakes if you must (no pressure!) but the winnings are yours. WInnings is winnings!

Why would the other children be disappointed by your daughter winning? They probably don't even understand how sweepstakes work. I think there is only one person upset about your daughter winning, and we all know who she is! Your DD is too young to remember, so take a picture of her with a newspaper showing the French team and a mocked up cheque for the amount, or real cash! Something to show her when she is older - and to send to sil to wind her up a bit!