To not split dds winnings.

[Damnivy]

So my dd just won £105.
We as a family did a world cup sweep stake. There are alot of us, and we put £5 per adult/child in each. We were mostly all present when teams were drawn from a hat. So all was fair. Obviously who ever drew the winning team got the money. Was just a bit of fun.
So my dd won, she had frace. Everything good, everyone happy.
Exept my dad just sent a text to our family group saying he had drawn the money out and it was at his ready to be collected. SIL replys in group chat asking how much the kids have each??? Mum and dad both replied with laughing emoji things thinking she was making a cheeky joke. But no, she then text to ask is it just the smaller children it will be split between or older ones too? To this my dad replys no it's not being split, it's my dds money, she won it fairly. Then SIL is not happy saying how it's not fair, all the children will be so disappointed, and that it would just be greedy to keep it to herself.
No iv not replied as iv just seen all the text, and quickly spoke to my dad, he says it's up to my dd but he and mum don't think it should be split at all.
Now I have 4dcs and the dd that won is my youngest, she's only 3. She has no care for money, and wouldn't understand if it was split, but still, I had no intention of splitting it between my own dcs so why should I split it between them all?
I never really thought about it, just see it as that's dds winnings.
So wwyd? Am I being unreasonable to just let dd keep it and risk a family row in an otherwise happy family, over £105.
I doubt very much that they would have split it if it had of been there child or them that had won! There has never been any mention of this at all until now!

I wouldn’t give her a single penny of it, the cheeky cow! As others have said, I’ll bet she wouldn’t even consider sharing if she or her kids had won.

I’d put it away for your DD and let her choose something when she’s older.

So there are 8 children. 4 are mine...she wants the money split between the children, but only the younger ones by the sound of it, witch means only my older children would lose out

So despite the rules of a sweepstake and the fact that your family/kids contributed the most - she wants her kids to benefit and at the cost of your older ones!
This is despite you also providing her with free weekly childcare!

She's def a CF.
She doesn't have much respect for your kids - or you by the sounds of it

on a side note, doesn't having her kids every weekend impact your family time and the things you could be doing?

How cheeky!

I might bank it but for a three year old I'd put it towards something big like a scooter/bike or trampoline, or a day out for your family. So it's possible your DC might enjoy the benefits, but ultimately it's your DD's money.

Your SIL has the nerve of ten thousand.

Actually sil on the topic of money me and dh have reconsidered our supply of free childcare and will be invoicing you on a Sunday from now on. ....

To answer a few questions..

The free childcare benefits us all. I have her dcs on a Tuesday morning before nursery and Saturday afternoon. She or DB have our dcs after school/nursury on Thursdays until I get home at 6. We all help each other with childcare. And if we wanted to plan something on our own for a Saturday generally another family member is happy to step in as they know the favour will be returned.

SIL has no form for this type of thing.

I havnt replied, I doubt DB would know yet as won't have seen his phone at work.

I won't be sharing her money with them. It is her money, just wanted to check it wasn't a greedy thing to do, if it were adults I wouldn't bat an eye lid it was just the fact that they are children I wasn't 100%.

Thanks everyone!

Had I won our work sweepstake (I didn't ) I would have donated the money to our work charity. I wouldn't feel comfortable profiting form colleagues money.

So why bother taking part in a sweepstake? Why not organise a fund-raising event instead? And would you have told absolutely everyone who took part in the sweepstake about your philanthropy???

I actually worried about that Basta.

We do a lot of charity stuff, I'm fairly new and I worried what the "form" was. I. E. If the norm would be to donate winnings or buy cakes. In the event I drew Panama

Quite right to keep the money, that’s what happens in a sweepstake - no-one else would have been expected to split it.

SIL has been a proper CF and GPs have mercifully stood up for DD. The kids weren’t in a ‘pot’ of winners they had individual teams. I’d back up GPs sticking their necks out for DD against SIL and respond in the chat tbh. Don’t need to be confrontational but would make sure you’re acknowledging GPs support publicly e.g.

“Thanks for taking money out GP, we will put her winnings towards DDs savings - maybe some French lessons in her future as a nod to her lucky pick! ”

Surely if you gamble, and win, it's yours to keep. Use some of it to treat someone else if you like, but it's your money and your decision as to what to do with it.

The trampoline sounds like a great idea, at 3 she will probably get the most use out of it anyway as they last a long time. Does SIL actually understand what a sweepstake is? She doesn't think you got the money by gambling externally somehow?

Excellent plan re the trampoline fund.
I wouldn't now bother with the sweets.
When you reply, I would be inclined to check she understands how a sweepstake works, as NeedaUserName mentions.

Your plan works. Just stick to it.

I still can't quite get my head around this thread. A sweepstake is a sweepstake you don't split the winnings with everyone just incase they get upset.

I think your plan re the trampoline is just perfect.

Why are some posters telling the OP, that s/he has to split the winnings, just to keep the sil happy &/or to "play happy families/keep the peace".?

How about NO! Why should sil & her kids benefit after they lost.?

OP has a bigger family, she put more money in the pot, so the chances of someone winning from her family were greater.

Tell SIL to have more kids if she wants to win in 4 years time 😆

How odd. a) That's the point of a sweepstake and b) it's such a relatively small amount of money to make a fuss about - and all the more so if you did what she suggested and split it.

It's your DD's money. If you wanted, say, to buy a trampoline for all the kids to use "from DD", that'd be one thing. But your SIL is a massive CF.

If you decide not to split it, you should buy dd something nice with it as she doesn't care about the money. Love that the three year old won!!

Bank it for her OP. Our work sweepstake is always clearly stated as split, fifty percent goes to charity (winner's choice) and fifty percent goes to the winner. This is clearly stated at the beginning and people can choose to participate or not. You can't move the goalposts (😉) after the event.

Don't split it!! It'll take the fun out of anything even remotely competitive in the future

If the family intended the money to go to all the children, no doubt they would have used a mechanism other than a sweepstake. It's always open to your SIL to propose that if she wants to.

If she pressurises you, simply say that it isn't your money to give away. Because it isn't.

Invest the money for your child.

If DD is only three, she won't really understand what it is anyway. I'd definitely top up the money needed for the trampoline, as it benefits her anyway. SIL can job on.

Midnite no. The DD who won is older. She has a sibling of three.

Definitely don’t split it between all of the children. I think the best options are: it all goes in winning child’s account or most goes in bank account but she gets to choose a toy/present or you use it for a nice treat for all your children.

@AjasLipstick

It was the 3 year old who won.