To be annoyed at note from neighbour

[stretchmarkqueenie]

We've received a note from our ndn saying they will be having a party in a couple of weeks and want to give us a 'heads up that there will be music late into the night'. AIBU to think that if they want to have a late loud party they should hire a venue? I'm assuming the note is because we complained to them after their previous party was music until 3am and a food fight that meant our garden got covered in litter and food. We have young children, as do many of the other surrounding neighbours (the neighbours in question don't have children), it is generally a peaceful area. Are we now expected to spend the night away to get a nights sleep or should they be more conscientious neighbours?

That is a very thoughtful note.
I'd reply with something like, thanks for the heads up - it's appreciated - please can you just try to keep the litter from going into my garden again. Thanks.

Sending a note is polite but it doesn't give you carte Blanche to do what you like. Loud music until 3am when you have close neighbours is rude and anti social. Music should be turned down after about midnight or the party should move on to a night club if they want loud music until the small hours.

Not their problem you have kids and they don’t. Why should they have to fork out the cost of a venue when they have their own property to enjoy it in. Maybe if you and other neighbours have a problem you could have a quick zip around and get the money together to hire them a venue - Problem solved!!
You should be grateful they were courteous enough to let you know in advance, so whoever has a problem can make alternative arrangements with the advance notice given.

My local council offers this advice on what constitutes a noise nuisance.

What is a noise nuisance?
This cannot be easily defined, but could be described as an unreasonable interference with the normal enjoyment of your property. It will usually be something that is occurring regularly and/or continuing for a period of time that makes it unreasonable.

The following are unlikely to be a statutory nuisance:

a one-off party
neighbours arguing
a lawnmower being used
a baby crying or dogs barking occasionally

Noise that we have no control over:

road traffic/engine noise on the public highway
people shouting/laughing or screaming on a public road or footpath
air traffic noise

There is no maximum noise level (decibel level) that relates to noise nuisance. Each case is judged on what might be reasonable and normal for the situation. We will take into consideration factors such as:

when the noise is happening (noise can be a nuisance at any time of the day or night)
the duration of the noise
how often it is happening
the type of noise
whether there is social acceptance (for example, bonfire night or church bells)

Unfortunately there is no added protection for shift workers or people who are studying or ill, and may want or expect a great degree of peace and quiet in the day than might be the norm.

Put a note back saying:

Dear NDN,
Thank you for your note, I hope you realise that telling us in advance doesn't make it OK to be twats like last time. Enjoy your party but keep all the loud music and shouting inside after 12 like any decent person would.
Regards,
OP.

@lovelifelive their property is not suitable for loud parties (clearly too close to their neighbours). If they want to have loud parties frequently unreasonably late they should either hire a venue or buy a more suitable property.

What do your other neighbours think? You won't be the only one who ended up with litter in your garden. That really isn't on. I don't have an issue with occasional lively parties, but food fights so that some of it ends up in your neighbours' gardens really is very antisocial. You can make a request that that isn't repeated.

Dear NDN,
Thank you for your note, I hope you realise that telling us in advance doesn't make it OK to be twats like last time. Enjoy your party but keep all the loud music and shouting inside after 12 like any decent person would.

Whatever you do, don't send this. A war with ndns is never won. The only way you can deal with this is by being friendly and asking very nicely. They obviously don't want a war with you either, hence the note.

I wouldn’t dream of having a party until 3AM. Doesn’t matter if it’s a one off or not, it’s not as if it’s NYE or another occasion where most people up and down the country will be celebrating. You shouldn’t find it acceptable to disturb your neighbours to this extent imo.

If they leave litter in your garden again, knock them up at 8am to inform them they need to clean it up.

Fun police.

Our NDN's don't party much, but when they do it's an all-night affair. After we asked them to keep it down after 2 am one night (when I was heavily pregnant), they informed us in advance months later that they'd be having a party the coming Saturday and "there might be a bit of noise". We were still listening to it after 4 am. I was furious. Giving you a heads up does NOT automatically absolve them of twattish behaviour.

@stretchmarkqueenie

How long ago was their last party and how often have they had parties since moving in?

If it's not often I wouldn't mind although I'd nit be delighted if it kept my kids awake.

One of our neighbours dropped by to say they were having a party until late and asking if we'd mind - gazebo in garden with music so we were likely to hear. We said no, kids bedrooms at front of house and wouldn't bother the adults.
In the end they had packed up and finished the party at 11pm!

People are still allowed to have fun once in a while. What’s the problem

Why does fun have to inconvenience others? I am sure it is entirely possible to turn the music down around 10pm and talk quietly and still enjoy yourselves.

No need to scream and screech.

Anyway best way of getting your own back is make a noise at 8am the following morning when they are sleeping off their hangovers :)

Those saying the NDNs should book a club/pub? These people aren’t civilised enough to do that! Foid fights, mess and yobo shouting outdoors? No. I loathe food fights and the types who take part in them. These people and their guests are not considerate enough to have a party. A mess in the neighbours garden is unbelievable. No wonder the OP is nervous and dreading this, wondering what they are going to get up to this time.
They sound absolutely dreadful, OP, you have my sympathies. Food fights and trashing the neighbours gardens isn’t normal.

I also loathe food fights, such a waste of food and totally out of order that they didn't tidy up after themselves. This isn't just about occasional late night parties.

And whatever the rights and wrongs of it, the fact is that the ndns can legally have their party and if the OP antagonises them unnecessarily they are less likely to bother about being considerate.

It's all very well saying you have right on your side but you pick your fights.

Say what now? The neighbours have a “legal right” to party til 3am? Where is that written in the constitution?

Sleep in a room away from the garden. In fact go in with a card early on have a couple of drinks with them.
I love my ndns they have the most wonderful parties about every year or so in the summer.
They anbu imho

I didn't know it was a legal right either. In fact I was led to believe you had to fight for your right to party.

"Thank you for your note, we appreciate the warning. Please could you clarify - is this party going to fit with the normal civilised behaviour for a built-up residential area that the party will be moved indoors at midnight and any music after midnight will be low volume and mellow with no strong base beat? And will you be including litter-picking from our garden as part of your post-party clear up work?"

But tbh if this were me I would be making arrangements to be away that weekend and just asking them to make sure that any mess in my garden was cleared up. you have family or friends further afield that you don't get to see enough of and want to visit. Look on this as an opportunity that is spurring you into effort and expenditure that you notionally want to do anyway but haven't had the impetus to get around to it before.

The neighbours have a “legal right” to party til 3am?

Everything that is not forbidden by law, is permitted. And the fact is that many people suffer with neighbours who have frequent late-night parties, so it looks like the law does not forbid them per se.

@stretchmarkqueenie

should they be more conscientious neighbours?

They are being conscientious, they’ve given you a note in advance of their gathering.

YABU , a loud party once or twice a year should not be a problem for you imho.

in all fairness they gave you prior warning dont have to cant you ship out on that night visit someone or look out for a cheap travel lodge deal combine it with a day out for the kids?