To be annoyed at note from neighbour

[stretchmarkqueenie]

We've received a note from our ndn saying they will be having a party in a couple of weeks and want to give us a 'heads up that there will be music late into the night'. AIBU to think that if they want to have a late loud party they should hire a venue? I'm assuming the note is because we complained to them after their previous party was music until 3am and a food fight that meant our garden got covered in litter and food. We have young children, as do many of the other surrounding neighbours (the neighbours in question don't have children), it is generally a peaceful area. Are we now expected to spend the night away to get a nights sleep or should they be more conscientious neighbours?

I think they are trying to give you a 'heads up' as a courtesy after the last time. We have done similar (not trashed anyone else's garden but had parties and forewarned neighbours) because we wanted to give them the chance to make arrangements if they felt this necessary but mainly just to let people know what was going on. We didn't have any negative feedback (to our faces ).

Once some friends of mine had some noisy fireworks for a family celebration and didn't warn their neighbours and so were criticised for this! Recenlty, they did the same but this time, sent a message around to their neighbours and everyone was fine about it, happy to be "in the know"

At the end of the day, it is one night and as long as no damage is done to your property, I would just go with it - if they make a mess that affects you, you are within your rights to ask them to clear it up!

Is there a nearby pipe band in need of a place to practice? From about 9am onwards, say?

It has at least given you the chance to buy some earplugs.

I would send a note back and mention the mess in your garden last time, state you hope there won't be a repeat of this and that you're sure they'll clean up and pay for any damage caused if there is.

Sounds like your neighbours can't win.

Earplugs!

An occasional weekend party once or twice a year is ok imo. And I'd be pleased to know in advance. I'd probably arrange to be away that night. I'd be annoyed if it was a regular occurrence or a week night though.

What are these 'arrangements' that people seem to think neighbours can make on the night of a party? Paying for a hotel room for the night?

I'd send a note back saying thanks for the heads up, you appreciate it and you fully understand that there won't be any mess in your garden this time.

I hate noise but if a neighbour is good enough to let you know, and it's only very occasional, I wouldn't mind. I'd probably stay at a friend's for the night.

YABU an occasional party is fine.

3am is not late... 😂

YABVU, and they are being very courteous... people are allowed to have fun once in a blue moon. They don’t need a venue, they have their house.

I agree with you OP - it’s not ok if it means other people can’t sleep. Those people who say they don’t mind obviously don’t have jobs or other commitments.

An occasional party until 11 pm - ok

Loud party and music until 3 am - not ok

Ear plugs don’t really work for loud parties, and most people can’t go and stay somewhere else.

Well for one, I think that's great they took the initiative to let you know, I wish my neighbors did that.

And about the venue, I wouldn't have thought of that as an option for noisy house party neighbors and I'm guessing they didn't either as it's probably in a casual, chilled setting in their view; but I think that would be a good idea yes.. maybe hint at it sometime and give them the idea, or asking can't they encourage someone else in their group to host these parties at their place instead and they go to them.

And may I suggest some earbuds or something on the night if they don't change the location, when knowing I have to get some sleep and not wanting random nuisances to bother me in the night it's helped.

not I said I wouldn’t mind. I have a job and started at 8am on a Sunday after a neighbour had a similar party. And I have a very responsible job but life doesn’t stop because neighbours work.

YANBU.

I don’t mind people having house parties, but 3am is taking the piss. We’ve got neighbours who reguarly have parties at the back of us with music blaring til 2-3am. With the summer nights they’ve also had groups of people round having a drink, sometimes every other night, until gone midnight. This wouldn’t be so bad in itself but they literally shout at each other and they’re so loud - there isn’t any need for it.

I love how people are saying ‘make the necessary arrangements’ - what, like pay for a hotel? Why should people have to pay for a hotel or have to ship out of their own home for a night because some people can’t be courteous? Yes the occasional party is ok but people still should remember that other people don’t want to hear their music into the early hours.

If there is any litter this time I would be tempted to get the neighbours to come round and clean it up op.

I have sent notes like that in the past, as I always considered it better to give a warning in and it was less than once a year. Never had anyone complain, and I had 2 or 3 noisy and late parties!

@notcontent

I have a job, as does my partner. I have young kids. I also have the occasional party...

I also have to listen to the baby next door at all hours, the people in the other side coming in from night shifts, a random beeping that comes from somewhere in the street 24/7, and various other noises that disturb me.

That’s life in an urban area though... live and let live 🤷🏻‍♀️

Be realistic! Perhaps say thanks for letting us know but can you kerb it at a reasonable time and ensure the guests don't litter our garden like last time

They've done you the courtesy of letting you know so if you feel strongly you can make alternative arrangements.

Some courtesy, we are telling you we are having a loud party with anti social noise until anti social hours, you aren't invited, and if you don't like it either tough or vacate your home for the evening? That's not a courtesy, that's a CF.

YANBU - of course they can have a party in their h

I'd say you'll tolerate being kept awake til 1 am only.

Had a similar connversation with my neighbours recently. What do they think we are doing next door? we are just sitting there wide awake waiting for the hell to stop.

In their house as long as it doesn’t prevent you from enjoying yours.

Once a year is fine!

I would so be tempted to have a kids dry in the garden with loud music and very noisy kids early in the morning.