To be annoyed at note from neighbour

[stretchmarkqueenie]

We've received a note from our ndn saying they will be having a party in a couple of weeks and want to give us a 'heads up that there will be music late into the night'. AIBU to think that if they want to have a late loud party they should hire a venue? I'm assuming the note is because we complained to them after their previous party was music until 3am and a food fight that meant our garden got covered in litter and food. We have young children, as do many of the other surrounding neighbours (the neighbours in question don't have children), it is generally a peaceful area. Are we now expected to spend the night away to get a nights sleep or should they be more conscientious neighbours?

Least they told you

For one off things I don’t think to 1am is terrible

3am Prob pushing my patience slightly

Lots of playing in garden with noisey toys from 7/8am

I would be pissed off if my neighbour sent a note saying they were having a party until 3am and expect me to be OK with it because I've been prewarned. I still have to get up at 5am for a 12 hour shift.

What's the no noise stipulation times? Between 11pm and 7am or thereabouts I think? Just to make sure everyone gets a chance to sleep....

Some consideration and basic manners from the neighbours wouldn't go amiss.

If they insist on making a noise until 3am then Rally the neighbours kids (and barky dogs) around for a 7am start party in your garden.

Some people need to receive the same treatment before they appreciate the nuisance they cause to others. Nobody should think its OK to play loud music until 3am!

Yeah. I agree with the Haribo bouncy castle idea. And a note saying no crap in my garden thanks. 3am is not fair. 1am once a year is annoying but reasonable. As if a polite note negates their bad behaviour?

Ugh these responses

They're being inconsiderate gits. Given what that their last party was like, I feel like a warning makes them think it's license from r worse behaviour. I'd be annoyed too. You had advance warning though so I wonder if you can discreetly lob a stink bomb over the fence.

Seriously, talk to them, talk to other neighbors, see if any consideration is going spare. Otherwise, pull the pin out of a personal attack alarm and post it through the door the morning after. Let them sue you

Be thankful you don't live within a two mile radius of Charlotte Church. She has live bands bellowing out till the early hours and the police aren't interested.

Charlotte Church really does that? Wow. That sounds very stressful.

Thanks for your responses. I expected there would be a few differing opinions, didn't quite expect to be told to 'get a grip', I'm just trying to understand what the most fair way forward is, so ndn can have a nice party without it meaning a night of no sleep for the surrounding neighbours. We don't have family close by so alternative arrangements would incur a cost.

My worry is that they think the note does give them a license for a repeated performance of the last party, which would be totally unfair. To clarify, It was outdoor noise (music and shouting) until 3am - this is not the kind of noise you can sleep through. A bit of a bass line coming through the walls would have been very different. I would like to respond requesting they are mindful of how late it goes on, and of litter but don't want to sound like a party pooper, any advice would be much appreciated!

We had a neighbour many years ago who arranged for building work to take place when I worked on night shifts regularly. The men blocked our drive off with a concrete mixer, so I was unable to get the car out to pick kids up from school.

When we tried to discuss the matter politely, suggesting that with some warning, we could have made other arrangements. She told us that the law stated she could make as much noise as she liked between the hours of 8am to 8pm. Blocking our driveway was glossed over as an essential part of the work she was having done with no apology.

After this, we had lots of kids round in our garden at the weekends and allowed as much noise as they liked from early in the morning, during the following summer.

The lady said it had caused her to have headaches and we helpfully pointed out that "the law says we can make as much noise as we like between the hours of 8am to 8pm". We offered to compromise, so long as in the future, it was a reciprocal arrangement.

There’s nothing wrong with telling them your needs and seeing what they say - you’re never going to be able to come to a compromise with them if you can’t tell them what you want.

I’d ask them if they can keep it all inside after x time and no rubbish in your garden. See what they say.

its resonable that they warned you in advance if its not a regular occurance or for a speciall occasion then i would not make a big deal about it
i wish my neighbour would when she was planing her parties // nights in with friends which last till 4am or even longer

my daughter was sitting her exams on a Monday in May and she decied to have her mates in for a allnight party my daughter and i went in at 2 am to ask them to turn the music down and was ignored. so i phoned police wjo didnt even bother comming up. My daughter went in again at 3am and they did turn it down for 5 mins and then up even louder phoned police again at 4am music eventually went off at 4-30am she hasnt had a party since took her weeks to even say hi in passing

I'd rather have an amicable relationship with my neighbours and put up with the odd party tbh

What happened about them trashing your garden last time?

Don't worry about them thinking you're a party pooper, who cares.

What do the other neighbours think?

Does your council have an out of hours number in case they act the same way this time? If they had music outdoors last time, was the equipment outside?

You shouldn't be driven out of your home by these idiots.

Is it on a weekend? A couple or three times a year with a heads up wouldn't bother me unduly. Even if it went on till the early hours.
Every weekend would be another thing entirely.

I had a bit of a bbq last week (not football related) that went on till quite late, outside, with music, as it was very warm. It was pretty unprecedented though. Most unusual for us to be making late noises. Nobody complained. They probably realise it won't happen again anytime soon.

You might want a party of your own some day soon. Best lay the path for some neighbourly give and take.

They should come round and clean up the litter from your garden though. That's inexcusable.

I’d speak to them about it and ask them not to let guests litter the garden and maybe move inside for 1. They’re at least thinking about you so they’ll probably be reasonable (?). Anyway the whole point of having a house party is that you can go on into the wee hours - you can’t rent a venue til 3 so you have to do that at home.

My semi-detached neighbour loves karaoke... my hubby had to go round at 1am to ask them to keep it down as the noise was so bad even silicone earplugs didn’t keep it at bay and I’m heavy pregnant trying to sleep, no notice etc. I was so exhausted! They’re not nasty people but they are v inconsiderate (lots of other things happen regularly too I won’t go into).

Next party we did get her coming round to advise about it, said there was going to be karaoke we said we don’t mind the karaoke but after midnight the noise needs to go down as we’re trying to sleep through the wall! We then had a day of blaring music, karaoke and loads of folk in garden all day long but at 11pm they came inside, turned music way down and could hear low chatter and laughter only after midnight. Much better. A little lee-way on both sides worked for us mercifully. If you can catch them in garden may be worth a chat to reach a compromise.

Pre-warning is not a licence to keep you up till 3am and litter your garden however, there’s anti-social hours legislation in place in residential areas for a reason so if they take the p don’t hesitate to call 101 or similar. If they want a wild late noisy party (as opposed to few friends round, turn music down before stupid o’clock etc) why not hire area in local pub, they usually v cheap or even free if you get enough folk round!

@GardenGeek. It’s not ‘ a lie’. Just because you can sleep through anything it doesn’t make other people’s inabilty to do the same ‘a lie’. ffs.
Oh, and ‘haha’

I agree with the OP, at least as far as the loud music goes. By all means, have a party. I shouldn't be disturbed until 3am, though. Loud music should be off or turned right down well before midnight.

Gosh I wish my neighbours would give us advance warning! Ours had a late party on a Sunday night and were all out in the garden blasting music until 2am. I had 2 very grumpy children the Monday morning.

I think 3am is an unreasonable time to go on til, regardless of frequency and warning. Difficult to know how to respond though.

Write back to them asking when it will finish. When DD had a late party, we sent notes to all the neighbours saying when it would be over, then made sure it was.

Part of the misery of such noise is the not knowing when it will stop.

I think 3.00.a.m. is not reasonable.

I just can't get my head around how selfish you would need to be to keep your neighbours and their tiny children awake until 3am because you want to have a party.

I would reply that after 11pm you expect the party to stay inside and that your children need to sleep.

Do we know when the previous party was? If it was last weekend, then they RBU, if it was last July, not so much.