TO have punched DH?

[BrownTrowsers]

Last night in bed I was dozing off, almost asleep when DH turned suddenly and elbowed me in the kidney area. It REALY hurt and he does this quite a lot. I screamed out and he apologised and gave it a rub. I was fuming but tried to get back to sleep. A while later he did it again but elbowed me in the back. I instinctively shocked awake and punched him full force in the ribs. He shouted at me that it was an accident yet I'd purposely assaulted him. I shouted at him that he'd hurt me twice within the hour and he does it often. He needs to be more careful! Anyway he's not talking to me. I didn't think, I just punched him instinctively as a defence thing. WIBU?

Kingsize?????
How?

What is your relationship like generally ?

If you did it instinctively, when shocked awake, then reason doesn't come into it. So why are you asking if you were unreasonable?

Make your mind up. Reason applied = you made a choice, however quickly. Unthinking instinct applied = no choice was made and you're in the wrong section of this website.

Interesting that your instinctive reaction was to punch though. Not kick, elbow or shove - simple physical responses - but punch, which is a more complex, learned, action.

He's awake?! So why does he hurt you like that?

At the very least he's careless and thoughtless, at worst he's being deliberately abusive to you. If it's the former, get a bigger bed, and maybe put a bolster down the middle until he gets out of this nasty habit. Latter - LTB.

OP - you say he does this quite a lot. What has he done to prevent himself hurting you?

You shouldn't punch him, and you know that, and that punch may have crossed a line and you may not be able to go back

According to the OP he's being careless and she's being deliberately violent.
No comment required.

Interesting that your instinctive reaction was to punch though. Not kick, elbow or shove - simple physical responses - but punch, which is a more complex, learned, action.

Tbf, on the odd occasion when I have had a reflex like this, (like times when I've been spooked by in the dark ) then my fists have been clenched and up ready to fight before my brain caught up. So far, I've always realised what what had happened before I lashed out though. But I've always found it odd, I'd be terrible in a fight, I've never done a minutes worth of martial arts and yet my reflexes seem to adopt a swift ninja pose that betrays that incompetence.

My daughter rolls into me and last night elbowing me. I spoke to her this morning and she apologised - I am going to sleep on the other side of the bed tonight (she has problems sleeping so often sleeps in my bed).

GardenGeek you could have bought this;

laylinebedsheet.co.uk/

Ninja pose is one thing but actually punching involves pulling the arm back before launching it forwards. A 'jab forward with fist', especially at very close range, is not really the same as a punch, it's more of a push with a fist. Not pleasant but not the image conjured by 'punch'.

Anyway, clarification needed from OP on action and state of concsiousness I think.

Not any more, ChuChuUa - says it's out of production in that link.

Yeah, that's a fair point. It would be good if the op were clear about it. If it were a 'push with a fist' that would make more sense in terms of a brainless reflex.

We have a kingsize bed and we knocked heads the other night (I was getting up as DH was getting in).
Total accident but v painful (DH had a nasty bump to the head recently). He did not punch me (or viceversa) but we did wake DD!

Good on you for punching him - now leave him.

If he's hitting you deliberately when he's awake it's assault.

Why anybody is defending him is beyond me.

Separate beds? Or separate houses? Why on earth would you punch your husband?

Ueah, why does he hurt you when he's awake? Sort that and then there'd be no problem. Put him in the spare room or on the sofa.

If he's awake then yanbu, get separate beds!

I couldn't help but giggle a little at the thought of you two exchanging blows while in bed!

On a more serious note, why are you so violent with each other? Are you generally quite fiery? I can't really imagine myself instinctively punching DH in the ribs.

Is it possible that your DH naturally seeks to be close to you while you're in bed? It sounds weird but I do it, even if we start sleeping on the opposite sides of the bed I'll wake up in the morning essentially lying on his chest. DH doesn't mind but then I don't really elbow him!

If he's hurting you then maybe your only option is separate beds. However, if he's awake, surely he can just be conscious about where his limbs are? Is he quite clumsy generally, does he have good special awareness?

If he's awake he should ve able to not do it. No excuse on his part.

Separate beds seems the only answer although a discussion about why he thinks you matter so much less than him is also in order

Punching him instinctively sounds only natural tbh!

If he's hitting you deliberately when he's awake it's assault.

"I instinctively shocked awake and punched him full force in the ribs."

Why anybody is defending him is beyond me.

Go out shopping for a new bed. Then you've got one each!

Why in earth is it seemingly ok for your DH to elbow you and make you scream?
I mean he was AWAKE so was totally able to avoid that.
It’s not an uncommon occurrence.
Whatbthe heck is he thinking there?

And then he grumbles that you attacked him when you are basically same the same than him??

Or maybe you could put something down the .iddle,? Like the Berlin wall?