TO have punched DH?

[BrownTrowsers]

Last night in bed I was dozing off, almost asleep when DH turned suddenly and elbowed me in the kidney area. It REALY hurt and he does this quite a lot. I screamed out and he apologised and gave it a rub. I was fuming but tried to get back to sleep. A while later he did it again but elbowed me in the back. I instinctively shocked awake and punched him full force in the ribs. He shouted at me that it was an accident yet I'd purposely assaulted him. I shouted at him that he'd hurt me twice within the hour and he does it often. He needs to be more careful! Anyway he's not talking to me. I didn't think, I just punched him instinctively as a defence thing. WIBU?

Are you married to my husband? He's really clumsy - is it the same with your DH Tho my bastard husband comes to bed sometimes and literally lifts off the quilt,shakes it and puts it back on if it's not straight ... it gives me the rage .... not punched him tho

This made me laugh I would of done the same hahahahahahaaaha @BrownTrowsers

If DP comes too far into the void, then the whole bed breaks apart and he gets ejected onto the floor hahahahha

I must admit I'm completely confused.

Is he awake and consciously careless / deliberately hurting you, or falling asleep and flailing around accidentally when he elbows you? Is he sorry?

How did you 'punch him full force in the ribs' as an instinctive reaction? (From the side? Rising to your knees and punching down?) Where has the training come from for you to do that? Or did you do it consciously, in anger?

Put a rolled up duvet between the two of you so you're not that close to each other.

Is he generally aggressive and is pretending he's doing by accident so it flies under the radar so to speak? Do you have a really low pain threshold so you're getting more rattled by getting bumped?

It doesn't sound all that good either way.

@flumpybear

literally lifts off the quilt,shakes it and puts it back on if it's not straight …

My DH does this! I hate it.

So he’s frequently “accidently” elbowing you hard, whilst awake in bed? I’d be a little suspicious of this to be honest. Also, if he’s not taking care to be more careful after this happening several times, then it’s not really an accident is it?

According to the OP he's being careless and she's being deliberately violent.
No comment required.

Yeah right. So it’s not a problem for him to sometimes several times a night, elbow OP, hard, and do nothing to try and resolve it, because it’s an “accident”, but OP, just once having a reaction from being woken up at being hit again, is terrible?! It’s not an accident if he does nothing to stop himself from repeatedly hurting her is it?

Single duvets is the way to go, no matter how big your bed is. We've had this on holiday and it works really well.

I can not see that someone fully conscious could elbow a person once, never mind twice in the same place, and not realise they are doing it. My ex used to hurt me and claim it was an accident, until he stopped pretending they were accidents.

Dear me , people have looked way too far into this

I have done martial arts since I was 11, that's why it came as instinct

Ok, so not a choice on your part?

How about 'Is he awake and consciously careless / deliberately hurting you, or falling asleep and flailing around accidentally when he elbows you? Is he sorry?'

Offs don’t try to defend your actions, it’s not ‘instinct’ it’s anger/annoyance 😄 and rightly deserved, and I can think of no bloke that wouldn’t chuckle about it if it was THEM doing the elobowing in their sleep. Only in 🦄 land does this make you any kind of abuser, merely one that lives in the real world.

@BrownTrowsers haha I'm not martial arts and I would of done the same hahaha :)

Is he always asleep when he elbows you? Does he do it on purpose?