TO have punched DH?

[BrownTrowsers]

Last night in bed I was dozing off, almost asleep when DH turned suddenly and elbowed me in the kidney area. It REALY hurt and he does this quite a lot. I screamed out and he apologised and gave it a rub. I was fuming but tried to get back to sleep. A while later he did it again but elbowed me in the back. I instinctively shocked awake and punched him full force in the ribs. He shouted at me that it was an accident yet I'd purposely assaulted him. I shouted at him that he'd hurt me twice within the hour and he does it often. He needs to be more careful! Anyway he's not talking to me. I didn't think, I just punched him instinctively as a defence thing. WIBU?

Your bed clearly isn't big enough, or he's a bed hog.

Get a zip twin. They make a super kingsize bed when zipped up. If he still elbows you, you can then split them into 2 beds.

@magicstar I am pretty sure I read the same thread a few weeks ago too

Now imagine it was women accidentally elbowing man and man punching her on purpose 🙄
Sleep separately.

Why in earth did he elbow you when awake? As above seperate houses is needed if thats the case

www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/multipurpose-maternity-body-support-pillow-b6299.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwspHaBRBFEiwA0eM3kX3Wp72o5yfPA0CVRymz6F0EhrcMiZmASx6s01f3WRvGKyZO3z2jXxoCsYcQAvD_BwE

Not sure why the last link went awry

Why is he elbowing you?

Of course YABU. You both are. Keep your bloody hands off each other.

This exact thread was on here a few weeks ago...

Oh, FFS

If you punched him as an automatic reaction rather than a deliberate thing then it's just an accident, like him hurting you. But if you did it deliberately then it's assault and you are very much in the wrong.

You need separate bedrooms or a much bigger bed - it's terrible that you're getting hurt but if he is doing it in his sleep how can he be more careful?

Get yourselves a super king bed or twin beds if you don't have a second bedroom and you'll both be happier!

Yes i remember this too..
dh does it in his sleep. Op quite rightly doesn’t like it.
You should sleep in different rooms.

I do this to DH when he starts snoring. I give him a poke to make him turn over.

I thought I remembered this thread from a while back!

I don’t understand how he can do that in a king size bed? Tell him to get over on his side and put a pillow in the middle of the bed to create a wall

whatg a weird relationship punching on purpose?

You definitely need to either sleep in separate beds, or put a bolster down the middle or something.
I wouldn't cope with that level of him hitting me in the middle of the night, however accidental - I'd be out of there.
When I still shared a bed with DH (haven't for a while) he occasionally walloped me in the low back with his knees - I didn't punch him but I did slap his legs and yell with pain, which woke him up.
But he's a restless sleeper and it happened just too often. We started to sleep apart when I was 6m pregnant because I had terrible hip pain and couldn't have coped with being bashed at all and got used to it!

I moved out of a super king bed because of flailing arms and jerking legs. Being kicked up the backside and bounced around all night was the last straw. I moved into my own room with my own kingsize bed and slept, woke unbruised each day.

On the other hand I had an ex who would cuddle up so close to me that I ended up working my way to the edge of the huge bed because every time I moved he went with me. Until the night I stopped holding on to the edge of the bed, got out and got in the other side, leaving him with my half, he woke and looked at the floor he was just about to land on. Didn't happen again.

Now imagine it was women accidentally elbowing man and man punching her on purpose

Well yeah, I'm imagining a woman constantly elbowing her husband and then one time the man punching the woman and ...yeah...I think it all still stands.

In fact, there are a number of gf threads, not saying this one is, where the gf op attempts to check biases in unlikely situations were the woman are violent. Each time someone comes along to insist that you wouldn't get the same responses if the sexes were transposed but I'm pretty
confident that you would.

Why is he elbowing you if he is awake?

Separate beds or a divorce lawyer

So he is upset because you reacted to him deliberately hurting you twice? Why is it okay for him to hurt you?

It was violent and out of order. You should be ashamed of yourself.

You can get super king beds with 2 mattresses and he won’t be “allowed” onto your mattress. You can get 1m80 SK beds in the uk. When I lived in Germany you could get 2m beds ie 2x 1m mattresses. Separate duvets would also help.

@Meckity1 it wasn't on purpose.

So he has no concept of physical space and just rolled over in bed while awake and managed to elbow you somehow? Seems a bit shit and he should be more careful. But really, OP... you can't complain about him hurting you when you did the same to him. That just makes you as bad as him. I'd have probably just gone as slept on the couch and had words with him the next day.

MrsSnootyPants2018 If he was awake, why was an elbow to the kidneys accidental? If he was awake, why was an elbow to the back accidental? Is it because he said so?

I do not condone the punch by the OP but why is it okay for him to hurt her?

You shouldn’t have punched him and yes, it is a physical assault. It sounds like you need to get separate beds.