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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this annoy you?

193 replies

LokiBear · 09/07/2018 19:12

My family and are flying long haul on Saturday. PIL have paid for the whole family to go on a 'once in a lifetime' holiday. I have a 6yo (who will be fine) and an 18mo who will be sat on knee for the flight (12 hours). MIL has paid to upgrade us to premium economy. If you were a passenger eho had paid extra money for your flight, how pissed off would you be at being sat near a potentially wriggly and fractious 18 mo? Ive just been sent this video of a kid kicking off on a plane and the other passengers getting angry. SIL sent it saying 'this will be you with dd2!' Dh is talking about making 'apology gift bags' for the other passengers. Im panicking a bit. I have an Ipad loaded with Teletubbies and toys at the ready, plus snacks.

OP posts:
DontTouchTheMoustache · 09/07/2018 19:15

It wouldn't annoy me but I have a 2 year old so I may just be desensitized to it! It's lovely that you are giving it so much thought with apology gift bags and such but don't spend loads of extra money, most reasonable people know toddlers are a fact of life.
You will know their temperament, how do you think they will cope with the journey?

CharlieandLolaCat · 09/07/2018 19:15

You'll be fine. Just make sure you take plenty of food - depending on who you're flying with they may not give you food for your 8 month old (I had to give my food to my nearly 2 yr old on our flight to Oz), iPad, headphone socket to plug in age appropriate headphones to the in flight entertainment (although mine watched silent crap for a long time, books, colouring etc and walk up and down the plane plenty of times and it won't be as bad as you think it will be, honest.

flamingofridays · 09/07/2018 19:17

It wouldn't annoy me but I have a 2yo so it's just like normal life. Take snacks! That usually keeps my ds quiet. And a tablet if you have / use one? Maybe your dc will sleep?

flamingofridays · 09/07/2018 19:17

Ah just see about ipad. Sounds like you've got it all covered!

Angrybird345 · 09/07/2018 19:18

Take lots of stuff to entertain him - get crap toys from Poundland to distract him ... wrap them and give him them every now and again.

Johnnyfinland · 09/07/2018 19:18

I’m going to be honest as a child free person it would really, really piss me off if they were shrieking. A gift bag is a lovely gesture but I’d appreciate ear defenders more!

Oopsmeagain · 09/07/2018 19:18

Just make sure the rest of the passengers aren’t subjected to listening to the teletubbies, that would really naff me off to be honest.

We do tend to pay the extra for premium economy in the hope of some peace and less families.

That said at the end of the day you’ve paid for the seats the same as anyone else so have the same rights as them. Most people would sympathise outwardly while internally being annoyed.

I am assuming there is no chance of getting a seat for the toddler? Or picking your seats so there may be a spare one in between you? So picking seats A and C hoping that B remains free etc?

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 09/07/2018 19:19

There’s always going to be someone irritated on a plane if they are sitting next/near to a baby or a toddler. Don’t let it get to you! You’ll find other parents more understanding. It sounds like you’ve planned well with entertainment and snacks etc.
Have a wonderful holiday!

Oopsmeagain · 09/07/2018 19:20

Oh to add, certainly don’t be doing apology gift bags, no need for that.

And second lots of new Poundland toys (quiet ones!)

Original poster
LokiBear · 09/07/2018 19:20

Shes a brilliant, but very willful little madam who is firmly in the 'my do it myself' phase! She doesnt really do sitting still. Im dreading it. I know it will be hard work, I hadnt really considered other people until i watched the video.

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PatriciaHolm · 09/07/2018 19:20

He won't be the only small child in PE I don't imagine! Ours did it (and upper) several times long haul as small kids and we never had any real issues with other passengers, even when poor DD was sick..(fortunately only over me!)

Almostthere15 · 09/07/2018 19:20

I think the idea of Poundland type stuff to distract the little one, and sharing the adults knees if that's a possibility (so you break it up a bit for whoever is sat by you).

I think most people are very understanding on planes, and you shouldn't worry about it. You'll do your best

wiccamum · 09/07/2018 19:21

It wouldn’t bother me. Everyone who has paid to upgrade, including yourself and your DCs has a right to do so. You never know who’s going to be sharing space with you on a flight. Very thoughtful of you to think about your fellow passengers, and I’ve seen people post about these gift bag trends of ear plugs and apology notes. It’s very kind but I also feel we shouldn’t encourage parents to pre-emptively apologise for normal behaviour iyswim. Prepare the best you can, you know your own child best...and enjoy your holiday!

WonderfulWonders · 09/07/2018 19:21

Commercial flights are public - you take your chances.

ReasonableLlama · 09/07/2018 19:22

As a PP said I'd be more annoyed at being subjected to listening to Teletubbies - will you be using headphones for your DD?

KatharinaRosalie · 09/07/2018 19:22

It's public transport. If your child is just behaving age-appropriately and you try to keep them entertained, then tough luck if someone does not like to share their space with a toddler. They can get themselves a private charter next time.
I don't agree with gift bags personally. We should not be apologising that our children dare to exist.

Original poster
LokiBear · 09/07/2018 19:23

No chance of getting her a seat. MIL told me she wasnt allowed one under two. By the time we realised she was there wasnt any available. Id have happily paid.

OP posts:
Original poster
LokiBear · 09/07/2018 19:24

Yes, we will take earphones

OP posts:
AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 09/07/2018 19:24

Whenever I've had mine on long haul as babes in arms I've plonked them on the seat next to me. Never been on a full flight yet and been asked to move.
Lots of snacks, entertainment, something to suck or swallow as plane is taking off (or dummy or boob) so pressure change doesn't hurt the ears. Comfy clothes - usually PJs for mine. Apology bags are a nice thought but a bit ott IMO. I think the key thing with a small one on a flight is just be aware and take action where you are able. Walking up and down is good. Exploring the plane. You know how your DC is so you will know how to mitigate. My eldest was a so relaxed people didn't know they were there. Youngest is a loon and much more hard work for us but we put the effort in to make sure was occupied or asleep.
It's harder if you have an active one, but very doable.

chill2003 · 09/07/2018 19:25

There's plenty of other grown ups making noise too! I flew 10 hours with a 10 month old and actually one man had a bit of a pop but it's his problem. You can move about the plane on long haul as planes are larger, that way you aren't subjecting the same ppl to it all the way! Having said that it's unlikely they'll cry all the way! On that same flight there were many people cooing her and asking to hold her and chatting to her so u get both sides. I wouldn't do apology bags.

henpeckedinchief · 09/07/2018 19:26

I probably wouldn't be thrilled if I happened to be right next to you but equally I know you and your toddler have as much right as me to be on a flight so I would suck up my bad feeling for the sake of being a decent human!

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 09/07/2018 19:29

I don't have children OP, it wouldn't annoy me at all. Children have just as much right to be on that plane as me. The only issue I may have is if I had a headache and no painkillers and on a plane with a loud child however that is always why I carry painkillers around with me.

Itsallpropaganda · 09/07/2018 19:30

Do they do travel sickness knockout drugs for 18 month olds 😬...you know, just in case she gets queasy?

MrsMWA · 09/07/2018 19:31

It’s PE not first, it will be full of kids at this time of year. Have a great holiday and forget about it. The more stressed you are, the more she will play up. If it’s BA don’t go for the middle, always choose the window, you get more room and storage space. Just relax and let her watch unlimited cartoons until she falls asleep. Make sure the airline know you will be wanting kids meals etc. And make sure you buy kid’s headphones. I flew for years with mine (in Business and PE) when DH was posted abroad, never had a problem. (Except one asshole entitled baby boomer on holiday in Cathay Pacific business who asked to be moved as soon as he saw us. His CF wife then complimented me at the end for how well mine had behaved. I said,”we fly business a lot more often than you do obviously.”)

Fevs · 09/07/2018 19:31

It wouldn’t annoy me at all. Probably because I have two kids so I am probably a little more understanding but it’s not like you’re going to be in business class! That would be frustrating for others as they’ll have paid tons more to be there and potentially need sleep if they have to work once you land.
Kids are kids. We’ve all been in that situation at least once, either with our kids or as a kid! It annoys me when other passengers get funny. As long as you are looking after your kids and make an attempt to help them behave then honestly what more can you do? 🤷🏻‍♀️
And as someone else said, adults can be very loud/annoying on flights too!