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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this annoy you?

193 replies

LokiBear · 09/07/2018 19:12

My family and are flying long haul on Saturday. PIL have paid for the whole family to go on a 'once in a lifetime' holiday. I have a 6yo (who will be fine) and an 18mo who will be sat on knee for the flight (12 hours). MIL has paid to upgrade us to premium economy. If you were a passenger eho had paid extra money for your flight, how pissed off would you be at being sat near a potentially wriggly and fractious 18 mo? Ive just been sent this video of a kid kicking off on a plane and the other passengers getting angry. SIL sent it saying 'this will be you with dd2!' Dh is talking about making 'apology gift bags' for the other passengers. Im panicking a bit. I have an Ipad loaded with Teletubbies and toys at the ready, plus snacks.

OP posts:
MrsFezziwig · 09/07/2018 20:13

If she was acting up I must admit I wouldn’t be happy (as PE would be a special treat for me) but if you were doing your best to deal with her that’s not so bad. Presumably if the whole family is going then you can organise your seats so there is minimum impact on others.

bumblenbean · 09/07/2018 20:15

I flew business class to Australia and economy back when DS was 6 months. Was dreading it but he slept nearly all the way! Funnily enough Everyone in BC was lovely and it was only in economy that a couple of people looked miffed when we first got on (I understand why but luckily their fears were unfounded).Might be trickier with a toddler but as others say just make sure you’re well equipped and if she does play up it doesn’t hurt to be apologetic to others around you. At the end of the day though, you’ve paid for your seats like everyone else so have as much right to be there.

pigeondujour · 09/07/2018 20:16

I usually end up with the most obnoxious loud drunk people near me on planes. I'd be positively delighted to see an 18 month old, I adore babies and have v high tolerance for them crying compared to when adults misbehave on public transport Smile

FinallyHere · 09/07/2018 20:25

Another votes for lots and lots of small pound land type gifts, wrapped up ready to distract.

And headphones for the ipad and you are all set. Enjoy..

Blizzardagain · 09/07/2018 20:30

If I forked out for premium (not that I could afford to!) Then I might be slightly irked at a noisy child. I'd also keep that entirely to myself and be polite as always as its public transport and you are just as entitled as me to be there. I'm just miserable and not a huge fan of other people's kids Grin enjoy your holiday OP

ReservoirDogs · 09/07/2018 20:49

Please get her used to wearing headphones or earphones before the flight.
The absolute worst flight I ever went on was a kid watching something on the ipad loudly with the overhead light on for an 11 hour night flight.

Other than that my top tip is to take a change of t shirt for you. I took a change of.clothes for ds when he was that young but with him sat on my lap for a long time I got covered in his food, drinks etc and looked a fright. Would have lived a quick change in the loo before disembarking.

LemonysSnicket · 09/07/2018 22:10

Meh, you take the risk. I flew first in May and there were three toddlers with us. They were cute, I drank wine and put my headphones on, amused the little boy for 10 mins while his mum went for a wee.
I'm 23 and childless, unless he's screaming for 12 hours (impossible and not your fault) then people complaining are assholes not you.

Racecardriver · 09/07/2018 22:15

I really wouldn't care unless the child was badly behaved and the parents weren't doing anything about it. I have done agonist flights with my own children who have never been much of a problem. One flight we were sat behind a little boy who wailed the majority of the time but it wasn't really that noticeble because of the noise from the engines and gavinr headphones.

UrsulaPandress · 09/07/2018 22:17

Just don't let her kick the seat in front.

AgentProvocateur · 09/07/2018 22:17

Child noise wouldn’t hugely bother me, but an iPad showing cartoons would drive me insane. I’m glad you’re taking headphones.

beluga425 · 09/07/2018 22:19

It is public transport. Economy, premium, business or first - the dame applies. It is for anyone with a ticket.

Enjoy your legroom!!!

Have a lovely holiday.

emoji · 09/07/2018 22:27

Wouldn't bother me. I flew long-haul business class with baby DD. As long as you're looking like you're trying your best when they kick off for whatever reason then I think it's ok. People get annoyed when it looks like the parent isn't doing anything to minimise or stop bad behaviour.

User467 · 09/07/2018 22:30

I really don't get the apology gift bag ideas. You shouldn't have to apologise for a child's presence. There are plenty of things that are potentially annoying, majority of which are caused by other adults who should know better. Don't apologise for your child, she is just as entitled to be in a public area as anyone else on that plane.

Have a fab holiday

SmallBlondeMama · 09/07/2018 22:30

Wouldn't bother me at all! If I was sitting beside you I would love to snuggle your little baby while you take a break., but I'm obsesssed with babies :) Honestly enjoy your vacation and try not to worry about it.

ReginaOcarina · 09/07/2018 22:31

I think the fact that you are so aware already means you will be absolutely fine! I personally save my rage for the parents who completely ignore their DC having tantrums/kicking chairs/being naughty while they chill with headphones on and a g&t! Never for the parents doing everything in their power to entertain or calm their children down.

Please don't get yourself too worked up about it and just enjoy your holiday with your family!

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 09/07/2018 22:33

You sound like you have thought of everything! My kids are older but we recently got upgraded on the Eurostar because if an issue with the seats we had booked. It was amazing but I spent the whole time worrying that we would piss people off. In the end the DC ended up opposite a very nice couple who said they had grandchildren the same age and it was all fine.

Most people get pissed off with noise but it's much better if the parent is attempting to entertain the child. Just not in a performance parenting, let's count all the windows really loudly and practise our Mandarin kind of way. Just good old screens and snacks.

Anon12345ABC · 09/07/2018 22:33

If she sat and watched tv and ate I wouldn't mind. If she was wilful and all over the place because she can't sit still, then on a 12 hour flight it would seriously piss me off. I'd honestly wonder why you would take a child of that age on such a long flight.

Bezm · 09/07/2018 22:34

I would be really annoyed at a noisy toddler, which is why I always take noise cancelling headphones on flights. It's my problem, not theirs! They are the best invention when flying... EVER!

Eliza9917 · 09/07/2018 22:35

My family and are flying long haul on Saturday. PIL have paid for the whole family to go on a 'once in a lifetime' holiday. I have a 6yo (who will be fine) and an 18mo who will be sat on knee for the flight (12 hours). MIL has paid to upgrade us to premium economy. If you were a passenger eho had paid extra money for your flight, how pissed off would you be at being sat near a potentially wriggly and fractious 18 mo? Ive just been sent this video of a kid kicking off on a plane and the other passengers getting angry. SIL sent it saying 'this will be you with dd2!' Dh is talking about making 'apology gift bags' for the other passengers. Im panicking a bit. I have an Ipad loaded with Teletubbies and toys at the ready, plus snacks.

I would not be happy being sat near young children for 12hrs.

I would hope to be surprised by their behaviour and that the parents actually parent them instead of being fucking pathetic memory makers.

Sharkwithknees · 09/07/2018 22:36

OP, I wouldn't worry. I recently flew and there was a stag do on board. One of the stags was obviously dying to piss off everyone on the flight, by whistling the two same notes, over and over. From departure lounge and he was still doing it at baggage claim. I still want to murder him to this day for how fucking annoying he was!! I'd have chosen an 18 month old any day over that wanker!!

Echobelly · 09/07/2018 22:38

We flew to Cape Town when DD was 18 months old and had to be on a lap... it was a pain for us, but I honestly don't think she disturbed anyone else, even though she barely slept all night, which was unusual for her. It was just all too interesting, and this was before tablets and everything, I'm not even sure we showed her anything on the plane screen. She just wriggled a lot and occasionally babbled.

hendricksy · 09/07/2018 22:38

I would have paid for a seat rather than an upgrade . Hopefully the air hostesses with find you two empty seats or the person next to you an empty one . We always paid for a seat for my dc rather than have them on my lap !!

Sharkwithknees · 09/07/2018 22:39

Also when sat at the gate, my daughter found a baggage sticker in her passport from when we went to Disneyland last year. She said "Oh wow look mam, Paris!". The stag then got distracted for 5 minutes, mimicking "ooooh, Paris!". My daughter's 8. Arghhh, someone show me his head on a stake and I'll rest easy!!

negomi90 · 09/07/2018 22:40

My mum flew 1st long haul with twin infants and a 13 year old. The infants were fully breastfed, but she could only do one a time. Thus they took in turns to scream (one was always feeding).
All the business men were very nice to the 13 year old who spent the flight walking up and down the isle with a screaming baby (and occasionally sitting at the bar area. Neither parent nor teenager heard any nasty comments.

Also on most planes, a crying baby in economy can be heard in premium anyway.

As long as you know that you or dh will be actively parenting/entertaining the whole flight instead of relaxing (unless she blesses you with a nap), it will be fine.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 09/07/2018 22:41

Have you considered using calpol to make sure they are asleep the whole flight. I would be fuming if I have to sit beside someone listening/watching Tellie Tubbies for 12 hours. Hell on earth.