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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this annoy you?

193 replies

LokiBear · 09/07/2018 19:12

My family and are flying long haul on Saturday. PIL have paid for the whole family to go on a 'once in a lifetime' holiday. I have a 6yo (who will be fine) and an 18mo who will be sat on knee for the flight (12 hours). MIL has paid to upgrade us to premium economy. If you were a passenger eho had paid extra money for your flight, how pissed off would you be at being sat near a potentially wriggly and fractious 18 mo? Ive just been sent this video of a kid kicking off on a plane and the other passengers getting angry. SIL sent it saying 'this will be you with dd2!' Dh is talking about making 'apology gift bags' for the other passengers. Im panicking a bit. I have an Ipad loaded with Teletubbies and toys at the ready, plus snacks.

OP posts:
LittlePaintBox · 10/07/2018 09:53

I'm in the granny zone now, but my kids were lively and if I see someone else struggling to contain their kids I tend to be more of the 'Thank goodness that isn't me any more!' mindset. And as pps have said, it's the people who don't seem to be trying who can be a bit annoying, not harassed parents who are trying their best.

LittlePaintBox · 10/07/2018 09:54

PS Is SIL a bit jealous? Why send you that video?

wishywashy6 · 10/07/2018 10:18

@Gromance02

Ironically, your post makes you seem a bit thick

Clubcuts · 10/07/2018 10:28

@Gromance02 why would they be a bit thick?

You sound fairly intolerable as well, at least the children have the excuse of you know being children on their side!

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 10/07/2018 10:31

@Gromance02

You can't understand taking kids to Disney World for example? How odd.

Gromance02 · 10/07/2018 11:01

There's a Disney Land in Paris isn't there? Just from my own friends with children look at others with disbelief at the idea of going long haul. It is usually unnecessary and for the wants of the parents rather than those of very young children.

Cantsleeptooloud · 10/07/2018 11:03

People see things differently and the op asked the question. I would only fly young dc for 12 hours out of necessity. I could not think of anything worse as a parent and a passenger. The older dc will struggle to remember the holiday, and the youngest definitely won't. I just don't think it's necessary but of course they are perfectly entitled to fly.

I spent a 2 hour flight to Spain next to a puking toddler on his mum's lap. It was fine and I was pleasant. I would not have been able to tolerate 12 hours of that. Hopefully there will be extra seats available.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 10/07/2018 11:05

No need for apology bags but it’s a good idea to take some good quality earplugs (Howard Leight make good lightweight ones) and offer them to anyone nearby if they’re looking less than pleased. You’re planning to keep her entertained which is all you can do really.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 10/07/2018 11:11

And why shouldn't a holiday factor in the parents wants too? There's no guarantee the kids are going to be nightmares on a flight. And what's a few hours either end of a spectacular family holiday?

tearsofrobertsmith · 10/07/2018 11:17

We flew 8 hours with our 17 month old. He was on our knees too. We were in a set of two right at the front. He was awake the whole time, he did cry on and off and we did our very best to entertain him by having snacks and new toys and books. He was the most chilled child ever, never a bother but I do think I grew a few grey hairs during that flight. We had no negative reactions (to our faces!) and the staff were excellent. One attendant asked us up to a more open bit and took his photo and put it in a special “My First Flight” card thingy. Child was rather red eyed in it but it was nice of them to do it. We did walk him around as much as possible.
After being awake the whole time he finally crashed out as we were circling the airport getting ready to land!!!!

I was very concerned about the flight home. We said to ourselves, “we can’t go through that again”.
We were luckier as this time, he fell asleep on take off, woke half way home, ate something, had a wee walk and then slept almost the rest of the way home.
Please don’t worry, past posters are correct, as long as you are seen to be being proactive with her just grit your teeth and know it will be over at some point. Your family have just as much right to be there as everyone else. It will be a memory only soon enough, don’t let it spoil the run up to your holiday.

Gossipygirl · 10/07/2018 11:41

Don’t let it get to you! You’ll find other parents more understanding.

Sorry but this attitude infuriates me more than anything. Because as a parent you're more understating? And your opinion is more important than non parents?

I don't think you should worry about the paid upgrade having an effect. Everyone pays for their seats no matter where they sit it's a free country!

As PP have said - I would be more bothered by a parent who didn't seem to care and also having to listen to cartoons.

It sounds like you're being very thoughtful and I hope you have a lovely holiday!

FWIW I've just done tree long haul flights (uk-aus) and there were young babies/toddlers who just slept most of the time and the air hostesses are very accommodating with mealtimes etc like letting the parents eat separately to make the journey as easy as possible for a young family. I hope this happens to you!

Girlwiththearabstrap · 10/07/2018 12:18

@gromance02 not thick, just well travelled. Which I guess can be hard to understand if you don't regularly travel long distances yourself and don't realise that planes are full of people of all ages because it's just a mode of transport.

OP, as others have said it sounds like you have planned the right things and will make an effort to entertain your DC. Dont apologise in advance or make up bags or anything! The 18 month may surprise you anyway. We flew to New York at around that age and my daughter cried a bit at take off, had a little wander up and down the aisle once or twice and then fell asleep. Watched a bit of Peppa with headphones and then we landed. She's been ok on long flights too. Plenty of quiet toys, books, stickers etc.

I'm sure we all have our annoying traveller anecdotes. Bad behaviour on planes isn't just restricted to parents of young kids!

Naveloranges · 10/07/2018 12:25

I honestly don’t think you should worry excessively. Children are part of life; as long as you have made plans to help minimise any noise etc, there’s not much to be done. There will probably be other children in premium economy. The only real difference from economy is a bit more room. The food, drink and service are exactly the same as economy.

Stormwhale · 10/07/2018 12:30

I'm wondering if the video you saw was of my flight on Sunday. A similar aged child to yours (a boy) was distraught for much of the flight and the woman in front got very angry. This led to a slanging match between the mother and this woman, swearing and shouting. Not pleasant for anyone. I'm pretty sure everyone else realised that you can't expect an 18month old to 'shut the fuck up' just because the noise is bothering you.

Stormwhale · 10/07/2018 12:32

Although to be fair to the woman in front, the mother was doing bugger all to entertain either of her children. The dad was trying to manage both the little one and the older child while she sat reading trashy mags, and intermittently telling the older one to shut up.

KatharinaRosalie · 10/07/2018 14:30

wants of the parents rather than those of very young children.

Hmm maybe that young child has an older sibling or two? So a firstborn does not get to go anywhere until the youngest sibling is old enough to behave, or to be left for a couple of weeks?

Bahhhhhumbug · 10/07/2018 14:31

I thought DC had to have their own seat for take off and landing? I admit a child sat on a lap next to me would annoy me as kicking legs etc would be spilling over no doubt.

KatharinaRosalie · 10/07/2018 15:07

No, under 2s can get their own seat (for a fee, of course) but must be on lap for take off and landing.

Original poster
LokiBear · 10/07/2018 16:17

I havent read all of the posts yet (ive been at work and im now shopping for things for the flight. There are some people on here who give me hope that I might be sat amongst people who ate understanding, however, some of the comments have sent a shiver down my spine! Just to clarify;
We had no choice in holiday destination. MIL lost her parents in quick succession. She was desperate to use her inheritance to do something positive. We agreed to go on a holiday, panicked slightly when we were told the destination. We had little choice and as it has been paid for us absolutely can not complain. But no, I wouldn't choose to go this far.
I absolutely will not ignore my kids.
We are sat together in the middle three seats, there will be strangers behind us and to one side.
I cant drug my baby. In anycase, pirition made no difference when she had chicken pox.
We are taking headphones. Absolutely.

OP posts:
Original poster
LokiBear · 10/07/2018 18:39

Right. Have bought lots of little toys and books. Made my clip buckle thing. Have some cartons of toddler milk, dummys and sachets of calpol and nurofen for take off/landing. Ipad is all ready, complete with head phones. Spare clothes for me and her in my hand luggage. A new book, mp3 player, Ipad and headphones for my older dd. Plus a magazine, holiday scrap book and colouring pencils. Am I missing any essentials? Im not doing the 'apology bags' either!

OP posts:
LeighaJ · 10/07/2018 18:46

No one likes being subjected to someone else's screaming child, especially when they can't escape. It's part of why I wouldn't travel with my baby on a plane unless it was for an emergency.

Almostthere15 · 10/07/2018 19:15

The only thing I think is missing from your list is snacks. (You can buy them in the airport once through security, particularly if you want toddler type snacks you can pre order from boots, ditto the toddler milk and pick up from there after security).

Honestly kids will cry on planes, families will talk too loudly, you may sit next to a spreader/sniffer/burper. Someone might be sick on take off and it'll hit your shoe. Ultimately it's public transport, people who can't cope with that should stay home, not perfectly reasonable parents who just want to go on holiday.

Have a wonderful time.

Original poster
LokiBear · 10/07/2018 19:24

Snacks! Yes going to get them from the airport!

OP posts:
Urbanbeetler · 10/07/2018 19:31

Can you put together a bunch of well washed old real keys on a key ring? My grandson loves those. Anything they aren’t usually allowed - an old tv remote maybe?!

Hang things round your neck on a big ribbon or tape - old beads, old sunglasses etc? Something she can fiddle with while you hold her.

Small boxes with little things in - she can transfer her treasures from one box to another.

Don’t worry too much about other people - you are so obviously the sort of person who will be working hard to try and avoid disturbance. Sometimes it’s simply impossible - but everyone was little once so tough titties to them. The flight has an end.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 10/07/2018 19:31

Your child has as much right to be on a plane as anyone else. It is public transport, you shouldn't be worried about it at all. If there are tantrums just apologise to anyone in earshot.