Would this annoy you?

[LokiBear]

My family and are flying long haul on Saturday. PIL have paid for the whole family to go on a 'once in a lifetime' holiday. I have a 6yo (who will be fine) and an 18mo who will be sat on knee for the flight (12 hours). MIL has paid to upgrade us to premium economy. If you were a passenger eho had paid extra money for your flight, how pissed off would you be at being sat near a potentially wriggly and fractious 18 mo? Ive just been sent this video of a kid kicking off on a plane and the other passengers getting angry. SIL sent it saying 'this will be you with dd2!' Dh is talking about making 'apology gift bags' for the other passengers. Im panicking a bit. I have an Ipad loaded with Teletubbies and toys at the ready, plus snacks.

So long as you were trying to keep the toddler entertained I would be ok with it. I have a 2 year old granddaughter and 3 month old granddaughter though so I have been reminded what they are like. Brave to do a 12 hour flight though. We flew long haul with our 2 year and 4 year old years ago and packed up backpacks with toys, snacks, books etc. I took a glove puppet and did a puppet show for them and other kids on the flight. Those were the days though when families were allowed to sit at the front by emergency exits and there was room for me and then to sit in front of front row seats. No iPads then but these days a portable DVD player or iPad with headphones is a great idea.

Travelling with young kids is tough. Hopefully your family will help.

Honestly if I was sat next a toddler I'd dread it but purely because some don't put effort into entertaining their small kids much. You sound like you are completely on the ball and getting plenty of distractions ready. A toddler being entertained and kept happy wouldn't bother me at all. I wouldn't bother with apology bags either, spend that money on small poundland type things to keep baby happy too. Enjoy your holiday

Apology bags would annoy me more than the child. Difficult to explain but it's a bit like it's OK for my child to upset you cause I got you a generic gift you don't want.

I used to take my twins on flights to Australia (think 24hrs of travel and two flights) in economy class. Ask for the baby bassinets. Even if he is too large for them - you will be guaranteed extra leg room plus you can use the bassinet almost like a table. I did three trips from the UK to Australia like this (and back) from the time my twins were 6 months old until they were almost 2 and managed fine. At 18 months they liked to walked around the plane with me following behind. People thought they were adorable so they were happy as larry as they got lots of attention. Just be careful near where the hostess station as small children are a hazard for people serving food and drink.

I recently flew longhaul business class and the flight was rammed with kids. I must admit my heart sank a bit but they were all fine. Take off and landing are always noisy and one wee one spewed (her poor Mum caught it!!) You probably won't be the only one with kids and the crew are always very good.

I'm physically repulsed by toddlers (less so as I deal with my OCD and sound sensitivity better as I aged) and even I recognize that toddlers have as much right to be on the plane as I do and therefore I have no right to kick off. That being said, I would have to take like 3 extra Xanax to be comfortably sat next to a toddler and all the constant shuffling around that goes with that for 12 hours. I would be upset, however, I would keep that to myself for the duration of the flight and bitch to friends and family when I land haha. Sorry everyone with toddlers, it's not your toddler, its me, please don't be mad I can't stand them.

I’d cringe if someone gave me an “apology gift bag”. Don’t do that.

@LokiBear

Just to offer some reassurance we did a long haul flight with DD when she was 18 months
At that age she was often like Satan with a headache (she's 8 now and still is but I've learnt to deal with it better)
I hoped she'd sleep but the one and only nap she took was for 40 mins before take off as the plane was stuck on the runway!
I'd wrapped up little books, packets of raisins, quiet toys, snacks etc and gave her something every half hour or so to open. Everyone around us was very pleasant and that combined with a bit of plodding up and down the plane (she wasn't walking at the time but she had a little crawl and I carried her a bit) seemed to keep her amused. We didn't have an iPad but she enjoyed watching the screen on the back of the seat that shows where the plane is on the map!!

It wasn't half as bad as anticipated and tbh even if it's horrid, you're not going to see these people again and they'll get over it! Do what you can but don't stress over the other passengers, enjoy your holiday!!

I don’t understand the problem. Can’t you just sit next to a family member? I don’t think anyone who is not sitting directly next to you would mind at all!

Well, I've taken small children on flights, so I know it's quite stressing. But, a few years ago, on a 4 hour flight, the child behind me, kicked the back of my seat, for the first 30 mins. Then the food came so he had to sit up straight with his meal tray down, and I thought...thank goodness for that!
However less than 20 mins later, he was doing it again, non stop!
I turned looked at his feet banging my seat, and then meaningfully at his Mam....nothing! I did it again....nothing! So I called the cabin crew member, and said in quite a loud voice; 'would you mind asking this child not to kick my seat for the rest of our flight?' Which she did, the kicking stopped, but I could hear the mother saying; 'oh take no notice of the lady, she's grumpy!'. To which I replied, 'not as grumpy as you will be, if I lean over your child's seat, and bang his for 30 minutes, when he's just about to drop off! Yes I got a dirty look from the mother, but I earned a thumbs up front the cabin staff! 👍🏻☺️

@Connster

That's your right. OP might also be mega pissed off to find out she'd paid £200+ for PE to end up next to someone like you but I suppose it's a risk you take 🤷🏼‍♀️

Let's face it, there are so many things on flights that can irritate anyone..not just kids! Stuff like loud snorers, folk with annoying coughs all flight, drunk folk rambling on, etc. Before I had kids I was never annoyed by the sound of babies or toddlers on planes. It's expected and people understand it's not their fault and feel sorry for the parents.
However....only this one time I had a toddler sat in front on me and decided while he was peeking through the seats and looking at me that he spewed on my feet lol! Yuck! A sad day for sandals too! Sooo, the warning there is yes snacks are definitely good to take with you but be careful on how much your LO eats lol.

Forget the appology bags, the best & most appreciated action to take is to show you are looking after your children & actively trying to keep them happy & comfortable. We have done long haul with young children - to NZ with transit stopovers. In general other travellers realise you are doing everything in your power to keep your children happy & therefore less disruptive to them. Your 6 year old will be fine & probably love the in flight entertainment. ( I'm not sure how popular this will be but we actually exposed our two to lots of tv & movies to get them used to watching for long periods of time....) Take lots of snacks - I know my 2 only ate the bread rolls for the entire flight/s !! Take iPad or equivalent plus cord to charge in flight. Load it up with all their favourite games & tv shows. Buy each child their own set of headphones - usually the headphones provided by the airline don't fit. We gave our 2 toys as gifts to keep them amused on the flight. Assuming you are sitting in a a 4 seater aisle in the middle I would sit 6 year old on the end, your DH, then you + 18 month old, and a parent in law on the other end. That way you only have to worry about the youngest kicking the seat in front & you will be able to hand over the toddler to an in law or DH for a break. This arrangement also comes in handy at meal times when you have lots of trays & no where to put them. It seems like hell on earth thinking about it but isn't so bad once you get going :). If anyone complains tell them to hire a private jet next time.

My PILs kept trying to do this, not realizing that once in a lifetime holidays with toddlers and babies are often ‘once in a lifetime’ for all the wrong reasons. The flight, the jet lag, the food, doing the same shit with your kids somewhere you don’t have your home comforts/shortcuts. Gah. I know I sound like a miserable and ungrateful git, but this sort of jolly is all about the grandprents’ fantasy of a big family holiday, with gambolling grandchildren and loads of time with their own grown children, but it’s the middle generation who do all the donkey work - which only ends some time well after you get back. It’s never been enjoyable. After the third such time we came clean to PILs and they accepted it fully. We will wait till the youngest is of an age to fly for 10+ hours and actually enjoy the trip once there. Better worth the money, too.

Also it’s not true that you can’t buy a seat for a child under two. Show me any airline that won’t merrily take your money... The rule is that children under two are permitted not to have their own seats. They pay a lower fare if you do buy them a seat, but by the time you add on taxes etc it’s not majorly cheaper.

We have had to fly with twins from an early age (although not long haul) to see family. The under 2 wriggly stage is hard work. DH is a teacher and once we were on a BA flight at the start of school holidays that was more children than adults according to the flight attendant. I asked if it was his worst nightmare, and he said we'd take crying kids over whinging business class. My DH claims he was just being nice.

I used to get a ziplock A4 plastic folder (used to be 3 for a pound from poundland) and fill it with stickers, mini play dough, those scratch colour cards are good. Quiet party bags toys. A comic. A new book. I would add stuff when I found it. Poundland and Tiger is your friend. I would show them the bag and say, you can have it after you have had something to eat.

Apology bags what for

You travel you might be next to a young child no need to be sorry

Ds was a dream flying to the states at 9 months had people congratulating me on the way back was offered calpol by the air stewardess as it might help with his ear pain or rather knock him out he was grouchy thankfully fell asleep without calpol after an hour or so

I apologised and others could see I was doing my best to keep him quiet if anyone moaned I certainly didn’t notice it

Since then he has been fine traveling and done quite a few long haul flight the iPad is a miracle worker at keeping children quiet use it and make sure you have the charger with you and headphones

Airline messed up our seat booking so upgraded us to business class to Canada with a 5 yo and 18mo twins! I did feel a bit sorry for those who'd paid but the extra leg room and constant food was lovely 😊

The last flight we had home from the States my dc (now 10 yo dd and 6 yo twins) they slept and barely made a sound. The 50 yo man to my right was a rude, loud prick to the stewards and the short (5foot 2inch) idiot behind me was about 50 as well and he kept pulling himself up on my chair and kneeing me in the back! Honestly, kids can be bribed with food, it's the entitled 50yo men you need to watch. Oh and the very loud large woman who was appalled they wouldn't upgrade her for free because she was so uncomfortable. She got her credit card out in the end.

I'm wondering what else I should be carrying 'apology bags' for. I'll probably need a backpack of some kind to carry them all around.

Expect the worst and then you'll hopefully be pleasantly surprised. We have done a lot of long haul and new stuff was the key for our DD when she was too young to be entertained by a screen.

Our DS was a nightmare on his second long haul. He gets night terrors and screams- he's asleep and you can't wake him up. He had his first one of those on a plane... it was bad and we didn't know what it was. I felt bad for the people around us, and they were frustrated that we weren't doing anything. We couldn't wake him up! People started suggesting things to us like walk up and down which really wasn't helpful. It still gives me anxiety thinking about it!

As for walking up and down on the plane- you have to ask yourself if you want to spend your whole trip doing that. Don't start what you don't want to keep doing! If they don't think it's an option, then you don't have to do it. 12 hours is a long time.

My last flight (9hours) with 11 month old, alone, lady next to me insisted I be moved elsewhere to every attendant that came along. Eventually I'd had enough so found a CF with 3 seats to herself and asked to sit on the end, her response was "no actually I'm quite comfortable"

we argued, I sat down. People in next row fell in love with DC as did people in middle row. He was perfectly behaved (for an 11 month old) and if he got antsy we walked about.

You will always get people who hate you for even having the nerve to bring DC's on a plane. You will always get people who fall in love with them.

Just do your best to keep DC happy and don't worry, you can't please everyone and you have as much right as them to be there.

I have been that pissed off person. However I love kids. My way of dealing with this annoyance is to engage with them. They are so cute. They are just bored and tired and frustrated bless their cottons.
Best of luck op do give us an update and have a great trip
(Mine are millennials and always travelled well)

We have flown with small children in First, Business, Premium Economy, and Economy. You (and your kids) have as much right to be there as anyone else - there's no reason why only those in Economy should have to "risk" hearing children.

Crossed post there Lion. Yes exactly that. The littlies can provide us bored adult travellers with hours of entertainment

What??apology bags??Totally un-necessary..do what you can(as you've said you're doing)with entertainment,snacks,drinks etc..go onto airlines website&look thru the stuff/movies they do for littlies..you usually get a cool welcome onboard pack with stuff in it when you book long long haul kids flights..i was flying regular long haul withDD alone from 9months oldOz-UK,O-Asia couple times a year.plenty of other kids on board this age&TBH some are running riot,some aren't but long haul travel(unless in business/1st)is just like a long bus..pretty un-glam,prepare for noise with earplugs/headphones,enjoy the complimentary drinks(g&t😉).
Over here most people give littlies a few doses of phenergan (as per bottle instruction).My doc recommended it after about18mths of age as my lil one was super-grouchy during take of til cruising(about40mins)..Maybe get urself a valium too so you can relax a bit.For christs sake dont listen/watch any stupid vids showing"the horrors"of travel with kids..Have a good flight😊

To be fair, OP you seem like a reasonable and conscientious traveller and I’m sure that most people will appreciate your efforts. It sounds as though you have everything covered so I’m sure it’ll be fine. Good luck!

Flying to Mexico for my honeymoon was the worst for me. Young child screamed incessantly and ‘father’ thought that slapping its legs was a suitable solution to the problem.

If I’m honest, I’d be pretty livid if I was in business class (with an expectation that it was a working journey) and there was young children causing a disturbance.