To be irritated by my mother-in-law who deliberately leaves bright pink lipstick kiss marks on my baby?

[MammaBell]

She does it every time we/she visits and when I wipe it off she will laugh and then do it immediately again. Just yesterday we visited and as soon as we walked in the door she applied her lipstick and gave my DD a huge kiss on the forehead and said "there you are, there's your lipstick" so I immediately began rubbing it off and politely said to her "please don't leave lipstick on her" and she replied "you stop rubbing it off as I'll just keep doing it, all over her head" and she chuckled away. I said "I'm asking you not to do that as I don't like it and I doubt she does either" and she laughed and waved her hand dismissively at me and walked away. I just can't understand why she wants to do that? I think it's tacky and no adult would want to go about with lipstick marks on their face and head! I make an effort to care about keeping my baby clean and presentable, so it's irritating that she wants to leave pink lip mark blotches all over her. I just don't get it lol and I don't know how to get through to her so she stops doing it. I know it seems trivial but it gets under my skin every weekend grrrrrr .

Well, it seemed unnecessary to get upset about this in the first place. People wearing lipstick leave marks when they kiss. (my sons always have lipstick marks from my mum, they are teenagers.)

She saw you were annoyed, and now she's winding you up. Successfully. Sh's being a bit of dick I guess.

So, the only thing you can do, is pretend it doesn't bother you, so she stops with the dicking about lipstick kisses, and eventually you just have to deal with the occasional genuine loving lipstick mark, which you can wipe off quietly, like a sane person.

How old is DD? When shes on solids and MIL is visiting make soup or curry or something messy then bring her in for a cuddle when she's covered.

Same for when shes older and gets into finger painting.

Tell her she's too old for pink. A modest nude will suffice at her age.

Yanbu. I get terribly upset when people rub their perfume smells all over mine. My baby smells better than anyone's perfume!

She’s being a dick.

Tell her she's too old for pink. A modest nude will suffice at her age.

Lovely bit of ageism there, what a nice side of yourself to reveal

This would annoy me too OP. Would it help if your DP had a word? Or you could start keeping hold of your baby when you arrive and say 'oh you've got your lipstick on! I'll just wait til you wipe it off before you kiss her as it makes such a mess'

(Although if PP is right that she's a dick and doing it deliberately to wind you up that might only make her worse!)

Make a big lips stamper out of sponge cover it in bright pink (possibly washable) paint and pop some on her clothes/wallpaper/sofa- see how she likes it

Lovely bit of ageism there, what a nice side of yourself to reveal hmm

I wasn't being serious - get a grip and a sense of humour.

Challenge her OP. Just say 'MIL is there a reason you are ignoring me when I ask you not to get lipstick on my child? I'm not joking and I don't want you to keep doing it'. Unfortunately with people like this you have to give them no room to manoeuvre and be totally blunt and explicit, otherwise she will keep on doing it.

It sounds very territorial to me and annoying AF. Have your husband tell her to knock it the fuck off.

Yanbu it drives both me and dp mad when mil kisses ds when she is wearing lipstick or cuddles him when she is stinking of purfume. We have no problems with kisses and cuddles as long as ds is agreeable but he has bad eczema and a weak chest so these things are major irritant for him. She doesn't seem to get this and it's annoying.
Maybe tell mil that she can kiss DD but there is no need for all the lipstick on your childs face. After all she isn't a toy that she can do what she likes with

Do you love your grandchild?
Do you enjoy seeing her?
Then you'll do as you're told.

She's doing it to stamp her ownership of him. It's weird.

I would tell her, if you keep leaving lipstick marks on him I am going to have to say you can't kiss him.

Do you love your grandchild?
Do you enjoy seeing her?
Then you'll do as you're told

Probably wouldn't say this tbh

[i said] "please don't leave lipstick on her" and she replied "you stop rubbing it off as I'll just keep doing it, all over her head" and she chuckled away. I said "I'm asking you not to do that as I don't like it and I doubt she does either" and she laughed and waved her hand dismissively at me and walked away.

OP has been clear about the fact that she doesn't want her baby covered in bloody lipstick and the MIL has basically told her tough titty.

My next move would be to not let her kiss the baby. Physically. Hold your DD in your arms until the MIL takes her lipstick off.

If she then puts lipstick on to do it on purpose once you've put the baby down i'd tell her if she did it again i'd stop her seeing DD. And i'd mean it. This would fucking enrage me!

I'd buy a bright lipstick and leave kisses on her windows, bathroom mirror, car windscreen and kiss the shit out of everything until she stops

Can you arrive wearing bright pillar box red lipstick yourself and give her a huge smackeroo in the middle of her cheek as a greeting? See how long it takes her to remove…

I would tell a white le and say that it's starting to irritate her skin in the places the lipstick marks are (say that make up is for adult skin and not sensitive baby skin)...this idea would only work if she isn't seeing her every day though

I'd stop visiting so much. Seriously, if someone can't respect your boundaries as a parent (whether I or the internet agrees or not) then you should keep them at arms length, it won't get better.

If she happened to be wearing lipstick that's one thing.

But to deliberately apply it?

Odd!

"waved her hand dismissively at me and walked away. "

How rude!

Can't you push her away/stop her getting old of your baby/stop visiting?

Put some of this (harmless) stuff on DC's head next time MIL tries this. It will also be the last.

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Great idea thrice

"Can be used on any animal"

Weird and like she's trying to mark her territory. She clearly has no respect for you and most likely doesn't like you to act like that.

Next time she comes round before you hand DD to her say 'don't go kissing her today you've got loads of lipstick on again, she shouldnt have it on her skin and ive lost track of the amount of times I've had to say about it.'
If she does it again take the baby off her and say I think its best if we call it a day today, I asked you not to get lipstick all over her again and you're being very rude about it repeatedly.

If anyone was so rude to wave me off dismissively after I set a boundary with my child my next response would be

" that was rude and dismissive so we are leaving " then leave and rinse repeat until she gets the idea

Bet you it will be quick

She's trying to assert her (non-existent) authority over you. "This is my grandchild and I'll do what I like" is what she's saying to you loud and clear. So she doesn't get to hold her or touch her. That simple. If she does, you tell her to get out of your house, or you leave hers.

My DP's family is far from perfect (mine too, incidentally) but thank CHRIST my MIL respects the fact that I am my daughter's mother and that's that. She's pushing you to see where the boundaries are OP, time to lay one down hard.