To be irritated by my mother-in-law who deliberately leaves bright pink lipstick kiss marks on my baby?

[MammaBell]

She does it every time we/she visits and when I wipe it off she will laugh and then do it immediately again. Just yesterday we visited and as soon as we walked in the door she applied her lipstick and gave my DD a huge kiss on the forehead and said "there you are, there's your lipstick" so I immediately began rubbing it off and politely said to her "please don't leave lipstick on her" and she replied "you stop rubbing it off as I'll just keep doing it, all over her head" and she chuckled away. I said "I'm asking you not to do that as I don't like it and I doubt she does either" and she laughed and waved her hand dismissively at me and walked away. I just can't understand why she wants to do that? I think it's tacky and no adult would want to go about with lipstick marks on their face and head! I make an effort to care about keeping my baby clean and presentable, so it's irritating that she wants to leave pink lip mark blotches all over her. I just don't get it lol and I don't know how to get through to her so she stops doing it. I know it seems trivial but it gets under my skin every weekend grrrrrr .

It’s definitely ok to use her sofa cushions to wipe up leaky breast milk in front of her and then laugh and wave your hand if she complains.

It’s also probably ok to draw on her face with a biro while she’s lipsticking the baby. She sounds a total pain.

Or mark her sofa with babies arse offerings!

Tell her one more time this will not be tolerated. She does it again, immediately leave. Keep on doing this til she gets the hint. No arguing, just leave. If you don’t keep a boundary, she will ride roughshod over every thing you want.

So they need to accept that what you are like is someone who isn’t going to tolerate her nonsense

Spot on. It doesn't matter that it's just lipstick, it's a power play - in fact she's chosen to do this about the lipstick precisely because it's so petty that it's hard to say no to her. The DH and FIL are used to giving in to these ridiculous power plays, you won't get any help from them without some very long standing family dynamics changing... they both regard the OP as an ally in managing the MIL, "you know what she's like", "just say yes for a quiet life". If the OP starts enforcing boundaries - tell her you'll leave if she kissed the baby with lipstick on, and then do it - the DH and FIL will start seeing her as someone else who needs to be heeded.

Don't worry about it. When your DD is a toddler you might come round to her way of thinking and not bother with the wet wipes. Your DD will have particularly sticky hands after eating chocolate at her house for example...

" "you know what she's like", "just say yes for a quiet life".

Grrrr!

There's no need to say yes for a quiet life-just tell her one more time & then leave if necessary.

She has told Op that she doesn't care about/respect her opinions where her own daughter is concerned.

Why should Op put up with that?

Diddl I think that poster was saying that's their current family dynamic and that it will change if OP asserts herself rather than to put up with it.

Thanks bounce that was exactly it.

She sounds horrible. As hard as it will be I think with the way she is I would tell her plain and simple that you don't want her kissing the baby because she refuses to listen to you about the lipstick.

Get a black stamp marker and each time she tries aim for her face with it. Actually know someone who did this and MIL got the hint bloody fast as she broke out in spots.

Also just hold baby away and say "No!" Loudly and whisper in your head "heel".

When she goes forward to kiss her quick as a flash put your hand in the way

She knows she's annoying you - don't rise to it! it will only be a certain amount of time before your DD is able to run a way from grandma herself saying NOOOO - get away from me you weird woman!

There was a FB post going round not long ago, showing a naked baby (privates not on show). The baby was covered in lipstick kisses. It was quite funny. Not so funny if she does it repeatedly, though!

Op my in laws do similar but my fil does it with food, feeding off fork I definitely think it's territorial.

Ugh
Can you write 'twat' on her forehead in lipstick? She sounds vile.

My M does this despite being asked not to. It isn't trivial as my dd has very sensitive skin and has a red mark for a long time after I wipe the lipstick off. Asking politely doesn't work. It's one of many reasons that we won't be visiting for a long time.