To think that the way people treat male toddlers....

[Yellowcrocodile]

Is what leads to male entitlement in society?

Name changed for this as potentially identifying.

So I have a 2 year old DD and am currently pregnant with a boy.

Spent the morning at a playgroup in a naice area. I’ve come home feeling furious by the behaviour of some of the children and their parents. Basically there were a few boys 3+ who absolutely ran riot, screaming, running, shouting, snatching and hitting, and generally causing chaos. Their parents just smiled indulgently, and made comments like ‘boys have so much more energy’. None of them told their children off, apologised to anyone or acknowledged that their children were badly misbehaving.

It’s like this every fucking week. My daughter has her naughty moments too, snatches, tantrums etc, but as soon as she starts I tell her off (calmly), explain why she can’t do xyz, and say we are leaving if she carries on. She generally responds and behaves herself, and I’m very embarrassed if she doesn’t, as I have high expectations of her. Almost all of the other girls and half of the boys are the same, not perfect little angels but parented appropriatley and respond to boundaries.

It’s making me worried that when I have my son:
a. He’ll be a horrible little shit
b. I’m turn into one of the terrible parents who attribute his poor behaviour to ‘being boisterous’ or ‘naturally having more energy’

These children are never told off, and their sense of entitlement is growing by the day. This is probably hormones talking, but I can completely see how some men end up not doing any housework, feeling entitled to the best of everything, and go around raping and murdering people, as they are told from an early age that any behaviour is fine as they ‘have more energy’ and they just aren’t held to normal standards of behaviour.

Also, they all seem to be call very boring middle class names like william, Samuel and Benjamin, don’t know what that’s about? The children with names that would raise a mumsnet eyebrow are much better behaved.

So, AIBU to blame toxic masculinity and male entitlement on the tolerance we have for poor behaviour from boys in childhood?!

Or are hormones making me crazy...

I’m determined not to treat my son any differently to my daughter for both of their sakes, but feel really sad about the society they will both be growing up in

So do men turn onto adults and then become violent, or abusers or rapists.
Its not some switch that turns on.
Teaching your boy that he is expected from a young age to be considerate is a good thing.

Stop behaving like your being attacked just because you have a son.

Something has to be fucking done. It has to start young. And please no whiney posts pretending men and women are equally violent cause we know its bullshit.

YABU. In my sons’ peer groups I’ve seen far more toxic behaviour from the girls. Bullying is far more prevalent amongst the girls than the boys and their parents appear to positively encourage the alpha female behaviour. Quite frankly I’d rather parent girls than boys any day!

Teaching your boy that he is expected from a young age to be considerate is a good thing.

Works both ways. I don’t have more of a responsibility to teach my son to be considerate than you do teaching your daughter the same thing.

Don't be ridiculous of course they would, I would, wouldn't you?

Too right right I would.

A lot of this thread seems to be how can we make boys more like girls...

Why not, how can we find better ways to channel their energy?

Women may not be equally violent but girls and women can be utterly vile, sly and vindictive- whilst teachers in primary often prefer the nuce little girls. One of the reasons I moved my boys to a single sex school!

YABU! I would consider my son pretty boisterous and full of energy but our local group is ruined by entitled and indulged little girls being allowed to roam free and dominate the enire thing while my DS tries to listen and follow the instructions while sitting on his cushion.

I never once thought to blame the little girls due to their sex, rather the mums sitting smiling indulgently and saying 'Chloe just does whatever Chloe wants to do!' etc etc

The same mums sit and chat while the teacher is trying to give instructions! Aaargh. So no it's not their sex it's their parenting.

I think the biggest threat to the next generation of boys is that society has such a low opinion of them, whereas girls are currently revered.

My post above should have said some girls as obviously it’s not all!
In my case the teachers were so ‘girl oriented’ (I could see this as a teacher, governor and parent) that I decided I wanted my boys in a school where they would be measured up to realistic expectations. The behaviour in my boys’ single sex school is very good and we are all much happier.

Sexism in reverse, yes. I found a similar attitude when I had my boy who honestly gives me no trouble

Stop all this boys v girls shite

Amen to that!!!!!

No, I agree with you - not being unreasonable. Can only speak from experience - if my three year old boy starts going a bit crackers and I can see he has energy to burn, I go outside and let him run and jump round a field, park, garden, whatever...no way would I let him run riot disrupting everyone else even if I did think was just high spirits - he needs to learn where’s best for certain types of behaviour