To think this pregnancy reveal is cringey?

[AlwaysAToDoList]

Friend invited us over yesterday (group of 6) and then she asked us to play a board game.

One friend lifted the lid to reveal the scan photo and then the big announcement

I’m happy for my friend but I just don’t understand why the big reveal ...

CRINGE!! Very self involved and embarrassing! Some people seem to put a lot of thought into making announcements, I think it's because they get excited but no one cares as much as they do!

True, nobody cares as much as she does, but come on! If you can't be excited about your first pregnancy and share your excitement with your friends, then that's very sad. (And I'm speaking as someone is infertile.)

Of course people are happy to share their friends good news. However they announce it.

I told my mum but saying that I wanted to show her something and passed the scan photo to her. She had no idea what it was so I just felt stupid.

Do many jealous and bitter people here. Its so distasteful

One thing being on MN has taught me is to think about people who might be struggling with fertility. That doesn't mean you can't announce your pregnancy or be delighted, but that you think about how you're doing so. For example, if someone in that group of friends was having problems with fertility and opened the game box to see a pregnancy scan, as the person who is pregnant I would be mortified if I knew as it's quite an in-your-face thing.

This might not apply in this particular instance as there might be no fertility problems in that group. But I've become quite mindful that some people's problems are not public knowledge and I would like to avoid springing things on people in a way they can't digest at their own speed or 'surprising' people.

I wouldn’t do something like this personally and it is a little cringe.
But I’m lost on the posters saying it’s smug, how is it smug?

I don't understand the Mumsnet hatred for anything deemed 'attention seeking'. Maybe you miserable bastards like to live your life in a sensory deprivation chamber being ignored all the time, but I doubt it. More likely you've attached a moral value to completely mundane shite and you're bitter against anyone who doesn't fall for it.

It's not smug in the slightest. At worst it's a bit cringey but last time I checked, being naff wasn't a sign of moral collapse.

It's 'smug' only if you've loaded it with moral value that it simply doesn't possess, and are in general a bitter and angry person who probably doesn't get enough hugs.

No wonder new mums are some of the lonliest people if you lot are whats on offer.

Who cares, they're only women. Serve them right for expecting friends to pay them a little attention when they have a happy announcement. The most evil thing a woman can do is to be 'attention seeking', don't you know. Fuck em all. I'm off to sit in my sensory deprivation chamber for a week and feel morally superior to women who have their mates over for an evening.

And if I ever get pregnant again, I'm going to hire the fucking Red Arrows to write it in the sky, just to piss off all you miserable, mean-spirited tossers.

😂😂 maybe you can get a hologram of the scan beamed up with it.
Just think these posters must lead such sad empty lives to write some of this stuff - its horrible

Good idea. I think I'll project it on to the Houses of Parliament.

Someone can start a thread about it. I can see it now. "My friend got pregnant and immediately ruined the London skyline with announcements written by the Red Arrows and a massive picture of the scan on the side of Parliament. AIBU to think she is attention seeking?"

There really are some horrible posters on here. Are they as nasty and judgy in real life?

Also, if she comes on here she will be really upset and she was obviously just excited about her good news.

Fantastic. When you find out if its a boy or girl you could ask then to light up the houses of parliament and the london eye with the appropriate colour

I agree with you, bears. Seems quite harmless to me and if she is a friend there is no need to take the mick just because it isn't something you would do. What's wrong with gender reveals? A lot of people keep everyone guessing over that but many are quite happy to share what they are having.

No doubt you don't mean to be horrible but, quite honestly, posting your message with all its details on a busy forum like this is not very kind to your friend.

Forget it!

Offbeat. Have a chuckle to yourself. A lot of thought MUST have gone in to it 😜

The more I read Mumsnet, the more determined I am to do things that are 'attention seeking'. I don't know, I just really don't like the idea that good women should sit down and shut up, whatever bullshit justification there is for it ('smug', 'showy', 'attention seeking' etc, whatever, a turd by any other name would still smell). Luckily, on MN being smug and showy and attention seeking includes things as banal as taking an exercise class, having a standard wedding or removing your clothes in a communal changing room. And, now, doing a slightly naff pregnancy reveal in the privacy of your home for a grand audience of six friends.

Oh boy. You think THAT's 'attention seeking'? (And why is that such a criminal act anyway? Nobody's ever explained.) You suckers have NO idea...

I hope the game was Cards Against Humanity!

AynRandTheObjectivist I love that post!
✊🏻

While I hope the OP's friend doesn't find out about this awful thread, if she does at least come clean and admit it was you OP. Don't leave the poor woman guessing who the Judas is out of her nearest and dearest.

MN is so weird sometimes. I need to find a parenting site somewhere in the middle of netmums and mumsnet.

Thank you, NotTaken. I do feel quite strongly about this. Women have pretty much ALWAYS been told to sit down and shut up. There is always some contemporary narrative that makes it acceptable. In the past it's because if they didn't then they were screaming and hysterical and unwomanly, nowadays it's all about being 'smug' and 'showy' and 'attention seeking'. Same old, same old.

Totally agree with AynRand about the sneeriness behind accusations of attention seeking.

That said. I’m sure this woman meant well and was just not thinking beyond excitement, but Lord don’t launch unexpected scan pictures on people in person. You can’t always know who’s had issues with fertility or loss, and you don’t want your mate’s reaction to your happy news to be bursting into tears.

The impression I get is that she knew her audience, and fertility issues didn't come into this. If the OP had objected to the reveal on the basis that one of the friends had had a miscarriage or had been through multiple cycles of IVF, I would have agreed with her. But all she's bothered about is the cringe factor. She really doesn't come across well at all, and has clearly slunk off having been called out on her unkind thread.

I’m sure she knew her audience, but the point is that you wouldn’t necessarily know what your friends have been through w/r/t miscarriages and fertility issues. There’s something very immediate about an ultrasound picture - if the last time you saw one was when the sonographer was saying “I’m sorry, I can’t find a heartbeat”, you don’t want to have someone else’s sprung on you by surprise.

And yes I agree that telling this woman off for attention-seeking is unfair, as I said. I just think it’s not the best idea for revealing your pregnancy to your friends regardless of whether it’s ‘cringe’ or not.

YABU. So, what if that's the way she wants to reveal her pregnancy? She's a first time mum and excited and that's how she wanted to do it, be supportive.