AIBU to disagree on being too old to be a mum

[thefinn]

I guess that's pretty much it. DH and I have been happily married for a decade now, were together for five years before marrying. We are happy as it is with our pets but I would love to be a mum. I get down however anytime if I mention this to family and friends however. They all feel we are too old, both having turned 34 this summer... it makes me sad but a part of me feels I am being U and maybe everyone has a point.So wwyd?

Remind people that the Duchess of Cambridge aka Kate Middleton had her children all in her 30s and her third at 35. Don't recall anyone saying she was too old!

I had my DS at 34. There are statistically more women in their 40's having babies than in women in their teens. Your friends and family need dragging into 2018! And you don't necessarily have less energy in your 40's, maybe they are just lazy?

Can I just point out that having children earlier means you will (hopefully) have more years with your precious children.

I was 36 when I had my first child. You are definitely not too old.

OP your mother is a bit strange.

I know and have met women who have had children from their teens to their 50s. In a few cases they have had a child before 21 then had another one in their mid-40s. In a couple of cases this means they have been grandmothers as well as having a new born themselves.

As PP's said have it investigated while you have had the miscarriages. You also need to sort out your relationship with your mother as if she is hurtful now, how horrible is she going to be when you have children and want to bring them up a certain way?

34 is too old?? Ridiculous. I had twins at 36 and was not too old!

I had my first at 19. Out of about 20 people in the baby group I went to only 2 of us were younger than 30. I was constantly told I was young and that 30 and over was more sensible time to have dc. I've just had my third dc at 32 and I'm still not the youngest in any of the groups I've been to and many of my friends haven't started thier families yet. 34 is definitely not too old

Gosh my friends ages when they had a child range from 20 years old to 40 years old. I have school friends who have high school children, I’ve just had my second baby at 35. Non of this is abnormal. It depends on people’s wants and circumstances surely. 34 seems totally normal to me, I have friends that age who are just starting to try to get pregnant. Go ahead and do it, if you actually want a child
surely a few comments won’t stop you, is quite a strong urge from what I remember!

34 is not at all too old - it's a good age IMO. I had my first at 31 and am having my 3rd at 41, and don't feel too old. Crack on, if it's what you want.

34 is not too old at all it’s a good age!

I'm 36 and pregnant with my 1st, just didn't feel we were in a situation, housing, financially and emotionally to do it sooner. It then took a little longer than planned to get pregnant.

I had twins at 34.

DS had DGD this year. He said he and fiancée (aged 31) were the youngest couple in the NHS antenatal group!

I was 42 when I had my first, and 45 when I had my second. I didn't ask anyone's opinion. DH and I made the decision all by ourselves.

34 isn't too old. Thought you were going to say 50

Haven't RTFT but if you're both too old we're stuffed then! DP is 34 and we currently have a few more things we want to do before adding to our family (he has a DD from first marriage) so he'll be closer to 40 at this rate.

If you both want DC you should go for it. There will be always be someone who judges you - either you're too old, too young or when you have DC you'll always be doing it wrong in someone's eyes. I think you just have to do what's right for you.

I’m 36 and 40 weeks pregnant with first kid. No problems conceiving or through pregnancy.

You are not too old at all! Go for it!

Had my first at 32 1/2. Finished 6 years later. Think that's the norm nowadays.

Blimey don’t listen to that
Hop to it before it gets harder

My friend was 33 when she had her first and 42 when she had her second.

You're not too old!

Had my kids at 34 and 39. Had bags of energy for the first one (also perfect pregnancy and birth), less so now I'm pushing 40 but I think that's more because there are two of them to look after. 34 is a perfectly commonplace age to have kids these days.

Wow I thought you were going to say you were 50’s? I thought 34 was average age for starting these days?

At my antenatal group (20 years ago) we were the only couple under 30, some were 40’s and one was 50’s!

While I’m glad we started in our teens, suggesting someone is too old at 34 is absolutely batshit! If you’re in good health, financially secure and both want a baby that sounds ideal!

I thought you were going to say you were about 48. I had mine at 19 and 24- I'm done now at 37. However many of my school friends are having their first now.
Go for it and ignore the haters! Good Luck

34? Fuck me! I was 37 when pregnant. Seriously don't listen to a word of it!

I'd rather have them before then just so I don't have kids/teens when I'm 40 coming up to 50. I don't think I'll want the hassle then. But if it's what you want, go for it. It's not too old at all, that's entirely subjective.

I have an 18 year old DD and although she loves children the idea of getting pregnant and having a baby at her age is inconceivable. She has so much she wants to do before she has children.

I think her friends are more concerned with uni and getting a career under their belts before marriage and babies.

Have you ever turned the tables and said in your opinion having a child at 18 was too young.