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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children in child-free complex - WIBU?

208 replies

Iltavilli · 06/07/2018 21:07

We live in a complex of flats where children are not allowed to live. A neighbour (not sure which) has regular visitors who bring children. One of the children is a toddler and rings our entry system bell as it is the lowest on the pad. They allow him to do this and simply say “sorry it’s a child”, they don’t discourage his behaviour. They also allow the children to play around the meticulously maintained and non-child-friendly landscaped gardens. This is a “naice” area, and we pay a premium to live in a child-free complex. AIBU to complain?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 06/07/2018 21:09

YANBU

Strongmummy · 06/07/2018 21:10

No you’re not and next time I’d remind them that it’s child free so they need to smuggle their kid in and not make it so obvious that it’s there. To confirm I say this as a mother and as someone who loves kids.

SoddingUnicorns · 06/07/2018 21:11

No, you would not be unreasonable. Especially since you’re being disturbed by them pressing your buzzer!

Allthewaves · 06/07/2018 21:12

Surely your allowed to have visitors with children during the day and the odd grandchild staying over?

If they are trashing the gardens then I would complain about thag

Findingdotty · 06/07/2018 21:12

YANBU but personally I think you are being a bit mean. Maybe talk to your neighbours first. If the bell ringing stopped would you be happier? Have they actually damaged anything in the garden and do they actually bother you in the garden?

Kochicoo · 06/07/2018 21:13

YANBU

Floralnomad · 06/07/2018 21:14

Surely child free means they can’t live there permanently not that they can’t visit . Next time they ring the bell just ask them not to do it anymore and unless they are trashing the garden I can’t quite see the problem . If they are making lots of noise in the garden just ask them to keep quiet .

applesandpears56 · 06/07/2018 21:15

Yanbu - talk to your neighbour and just nicely point out what you’ve said here.
It’s ok to want a child free space just as it’s ok for children to want children’s spaces

TeaAndNoSympathy · 06/07/2018 21:15

I think YAB a bit unreasonable. Not about them damaging the garden or pressing your buzzer though. Both of those things are clearly unacceptable. But there is no suggestion the children are living there, they’re just visiting?

RailReplacementBusService · 06/07/2018 21:16

Just because children aren’t allowed to live there doesn’t mean they are not allowed to visit. Unless your lease says that.

Is this a reverse?

Luglio · 06/07/2018 21:18

YANBU. And - child free complex? Where is this paradisical endroit?

BlueBug45 · 06/07/2018 21:18

No in the US there are really child-free complexes.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 06/07/2018 21:19
  1. I didn't realise child-free complexes were a thing.
  1. Adult visitors for my downstairs neighbours ring my buzzer ALL the time. Also no apology. Agree, it's very annoying.
Tinycitrus · 06/07/2018 21:19

Lol

HairDyedPink · 06/07/2018 21:19

YANBU

It doesn't even matter that it's a child-free complex, these people are just rude. If you are lucky enough to be able to complain and make them stop, go for it - I would.

I didn't even know you could live in a child-free complex, it sounds amazing! not for me, I have kids, but they will grow up

ilovesooty · 06/07/2018 21:20

If they're visiting the responsible adults need to ensure that they behave appropriately.

woodlands01 · 06/07/2018 21:26

Bell - if it's regular and bugs you then just have a word. Gardens - depends - if they are not damaging it then I don't think there's a problem.

This is a “naice” area, and we pay a premium to live in a child-free complex

Really??? - we pay a premium to live where we do and over the years have had lots of childless couples stop and stare and point at what we are doing in the garden for our kids. Yes I could have said fuck off (which I have often felt like) but I do normally stop and chat and feel better for it after. No malice, no judgement, just interest and actually nice people.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 06/07/2018 21:30

If they were very well behaved and you didn't know that they were there that would be U. But if they're disturbing you and trashing the place YADNBU. I have 2 children, they're not allowed to behave like that in "child friendly" places, you don't let them ring peoples buzzers for the hell of it! I'd not be happy in your situation either and would bring it up with whoever you're paying for the privilege!

bridgetosomewhere · 06/07/2018 21:31

I’m
Intrigued as to what you are doing in your garden that makes people stop and stare? !!

Juells · 06/07/2018 21:32

we pay a premium to live where we do and over the years have had lots of childless couples stop and stare and point at what we are doing in the garden for our kids.

What's that got to do with the OP's AIBU? Confused

Iceweasel · 06/07/2018 21:33

I would expect that they lift the child so they can press the right buzzer and not allow them to press neighbours' buzzers. The rest I think YABU.

woodlands01 · 06/07/2018 21:34

Nothing amazingly exciting - it's just a big area in a field so we have had boys playing footie, girls BBQing and prancing around like dancing queens, years ago built a 'rocket' , more recently built an shed as Gym for older DS.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 06/07/2018 21:35

A child free complex - I've never heard of that. Is it for older people or swingers?

LighthouseSouth · 06/07/2018 21:36

Are you in the uk?

I can't imagine that child visiting would be banned but their parents shouldn't let them press your bell.

Iceweasel · 06/07/2018 21:41

I assume, since you are on MN that your children have grown up? Would you not want your own grandchildren to visit you in the future?