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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children in child-free complex - WIBU?

208 replies

Iltavilli · 06/07/2018 21:07

We live in a complex of flats where children are not allowed to live. A neighbour (not sure which) has regular visitors who bring children. One of the children is a toddler and rings our entry system bell as it is the lowest on the pad. They allow him to do this and simply say “sorry it’s a child”, they don’t discourage his behaviour. They also allow the children to play around the meticulously maintained and non-child-friendly landscaped gardens. This is a “naice” area, and we pay a premium to live in a child-free complex. AIBU to complain?

OP posts:
user546425732 · 06/07/2018 22:21

OP are you in Scotland perhaps?

masktaster · 06/07/2018 22:21

Lighthouse

A lot of park home sites are for older people only, if that appeals to you. My grandmother lives on one, which I think is 45+.

She's allowed children to stay overnight, but only on a very temporary basis (she's had my aunt, uncle and cousins over for a couple of days at Christmas, for instance), and I've stayed (as an adult, but wayyy below their minimum age) a fair bit, including around a week when my grandfather died. However, this was all done with respect for the neighbours, and no "oh, well they're only children!" even when smalls have been around in the daytime and playing in her (private) garden.

Check your terms OP, because different places will have different rules regarding visitors who happen to be children.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/07/2018 22:28

It’s not about miserable feckers vandrew4 it’s about choices. I have a 10 yo dd and it wouldn’t be appropriate to take her for hours to a place like this. She would be bored to tears and would annoy the residents.

Bringing children and letting them run around and make lots of noise is not on at all. Your neighbours need to get this under control or move out.

CloudPop · 06/07/2018 22:35

This kind of behaviour would annoy me greatly, child-free complex or not

SockMatchmaker · 06/07/2018 22:37

I have kids, I love them, but they are bloody draining and loud!
I try to get them to be quiet but its an ongoing struggle.
Anyhow, there’s nothing wrong with adult only spaces, and if you’ve paid for something you deserve to have it.
Your neighbours are CF, report them if you can. (Or swear through the intercom)

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 06/07/2018 23:12

YANBU. It's an adult space so if a child visits they shouldn't running around or making a racket. The doorbell thing would be bloody annoying even in a child friendly place to be fair. Personally I don't mind the sound of kids running around and I hate pristine lawns but other people have different tastes and if you've paid for a child free envionment you should get it.

Imchlibob · 06/07/2018 23:26

Are any actual rules being broken - apart from the doorbell misuse which yanbu about.

No children are allowed to live there. No children are living there.

Of course you could club together with other naice right-thinking residents to employ one of these

BitOutOfPractice · 06/07/2018 23:38

I'm not a massive fan of other people's children (I only really like my own) but fuck me sideways and call me Leslie Judd,that's the most joyless op I ever read

Myotherusernameisbest · 06/07/2018 23:44

Child free housing? Who knew! Learn something new everyday on here!

BoomBoomsCousin · 07/07/2018 00:00

An apartment complex that bans children from living there sounds unreasonable to me, but even taking that bit out of the equation, unless the rules ban children from visiting you would be very unreasonable to complain about them visiting and being in the grounds. You might be reasonable to complain about particular behaviour - depending on whether it would be tolerated from adults or not.

You are not being unreasonable to complain about the doorbell ringing. That's pretty awful on the part of the parents and I kind of like toolonglurking's solution.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 07/07/2018 00:01

Why is it unreasonable? Nobody is forced to live there.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 07/07/2018 00:04

Isn't everyone someone's child? My strapping DD is still my baby.

Original poster
Iltavilli · 07/07/2018 00:05

@bitoutofpractice - we have joy in many things. But we have chosen to live in a child-free environment. Your version of joy is clearly somewhat different to ours yet we haven’t resorted to personal insult.

OP posts:
9amTrain · 07/07/2018 00:06

Yanbu

Regingaphalange · 07/07/2018 00:10

Kids shouldnt press buzzer but YABU

Can't believe I'm reading this! You're actually being ridiculous

Original poster
Iltavilli · 07/07/2018 00:14

@Regingaphalange in what way? Genuinely curious to know. If people choose to live in a child-free environment (30+ flats) why should we have to acede to the one flat that invites children?

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 07/07/2018 00:21

I can't believe children aren't allowed to visit. I find that concept so strange. It must be lovely and peaceful though!

Imchlibob · 07/07/2018 00:23

But do the ruled of the complex actually ban the presence of visiting children? That seems unlikely and you won't get anywhere complaining about people not following a rule that doesn't actually exist.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 07/07/2018 00:30

It is strange to choose child free living whilst constantly inviting children to spend large parts of the day visiting.
And not really sticking to the spirit of the “rule”. It hardly matters that they don’t sleep there. Nighttimes are not when they’re playing ball games in the flowerbeds and ringing doorbells, so it makes no odds where they actually live.

Original poster
Iltavilli · 07/07/2018 00:31

@imchilibob - you’re right, there are no rules ok visiting children (I’ve already said I’ve no problem with this), but to have children ringing my doorbell and in the grounds (which are not for children) does break the “rules” as you put it.
I came to ask for parental input on how they would manage in this situation and most have agreed IANBU.

OP posts:
CanaBanana · 07/07/2018 00:39

YANBU. Complain to the management company. Btw a child free complex sounds amazing, I want to live there! (I have DC but hate virtually everyone else's kids)

flippyfloppyflower · 07/07/2018 00:44

Ignore the PP who have been deliberately rude and ignorant. You are completely entitled to want to live in a child-free zone and it must be really annoying when someone does not respect that right. Is there a management group/team/dept that you could speak to about this.

I have often wanted to live in a completely idiot free area but, as yet, have not been able to find one Smile

Regingaphalange · 07/07/2018 00:47

Ok I'll bite....

You are paying to live in a child free environment... which is your flat!

You do not have control over the apartment building Hmm

LighthouseSouth · 07/07/2018 00:55

Regina of course there are rules about the common areas and flat owners often jointly own them

What's your problem? We aren't allowed pets in our building. If someone had a barking dog I would def complain.

You do realise that people with children and grandchildren choose to live in Childfree buildings?

BoomBoomsCousin · 07/07/2018 00:59

So there are rules about not taking guests into the grounds? Or visiting children are specifically banned from the grounds?

This seems unlikely and potentially unreasonable but if so YWProbablyNBU to point this out to the residents whom the children are visiting, or to any staff or office holders who are responsible for the community.

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