to get annoyed by parents bragging about their kids on FB

[Neffertitty]

I know FB is a place where you should be able to say whatever you want to but there are a couple of parents at my DS's school who have to do a long braggy monologue about their kids acheivements and what treat they will be buying them and how proud they are.

This is not for the kids, it's to brag to other parents "Oh I am so clever producing such supremely talented and clever beings".

My DS does ok but at times struggles and it's a constant battle trying to get him through the school year. He never wins any prizes at school, is never top of the class. He feels it at prizegivings and it affects his confidence. I know there are clever kids out there and good for them but it's really tough having it shoved down your throat on FB.

I realise the answer is to block them but I just needed a rant before I do that!!

It’s frankly bizarre to take to social media to eulogise your child’s kindness.

I always felt a but rubbish as a kid because DM was always a little too sensitive to not bragging and making others feel bad. It meant that I never got to celebrate my achievements and I felt guilty for doing well and I also didn't get a sense that DM was proud of me. It can be done in private I guess but I think it is nice to celebrate achievements with others, even if it does sometimes highlight things I haven't been able to achieve in my own life. Celebrations of achievements aren't just for high achievers though. Is there something your son has struggled with but got the hang of you can celebrate or something he has done that is kind? School prize givings are rubbish for either celebrating only the highly academic students of the students with behavioural issues so maybe find a way to celebrate him outside of school. A special meal? A well done card?

ohdear I don’t think your situation is really typical of the ones annoying people here. I will admit I quoted the ‘I grew a doctor’ comment as it seemed to me to reflect the fact that when people say they are proud of their children, a large part of that is proud of their own part in rearing them - and I’ve never said there’s anything wrong about that pride (though I think it’s just biology, personally), but I personally don’t think being proud of my child and posting it on FB is exactly the same thing. In some cases, telling all and sundry (most people have far looser connections on FB than you have) about little Bob’s fantastic report when they know they have acquaintances whose children are in the same year and will have been given much less glowing reports, does feel less than thoughtful and isn’t the same as just saying you are proud when it comes up in conversation or to closer friends.

I can completely see why you are proud of your son and what you have both achieved. I would give you a non-grudging like and comment because it’s brilliant! However, we do all use Facebook and experience it in different ways and I think a lot of the FB ‘brags’ are very far removed from yours in tone, import and frequency.

Oh dear there is a difference between what you post, and what others that I have deleted post. That is bragging, it's the way in which they say it, and the frequency which it is done. Like I say, I do post occasionally DC achievements, if they got star of the day or an award. For example I will say, well done B for getting star of the day, with his certificate on FB, what I won't say is "what a bright and clever boy my ds is for getting star of the day, 3 stars of the day in one month, I am growing a genius" type thing. Or B has been invited to 4 parties this month, He is so popular and clever" there is just no need!

I do like reading what others chdten have achieved, dd 11 Asd, learning difficulties, SPD, goes to a mainstream trampoline club. She got her 5 Star award in trampoline. I put that up with a picture of her, with Well done K for getting your award in trampolining.

I always feel that these type of fb posts are about the parent wanting to be ego stroked and has very little to do with the child's best interests. It's the child's business what they got in their reports, where they came in sports day,etc etc but I wonder how many parents actually ask their dc's if they can plaster it all over their own fb page for all to see?

Bragging is a horrible personality trait! It’s the reason I’m not on Facebook

I posted yesterday that my son got great results. He is 19 and due to harassment at college his confidence is really not good right now and his MH is not great. My family and friends all praised him and he got to see a bunch of people telling him how awesome he is, instead of hearing all the negative shit said about him from other arseholes.

He also has learning disabilities and has worked his arse off. He had to fight for his results. He worked hard whilst grieving for his father to get onto the course and he just finished with great results. Darn right I am going to post about that. He has had an utterly shit ride so I am going to sing from the rooftops about him.

I don't brag about much at all on FB. I don't post my children's every achievements but the big things or the ones they have worked hard for I will. People who brag about everything are annoying for sure.

ohdear you both sound amazing

It's not for the child's benefit, it's for the parent to boast about how amazing they must be to produce such a wonderful human being. It's always the positive isn't it? No one ever posts anything like 'feeling depressed, Johnny had a terrible report'. People only share the stuff that makes them look like great parents.

Just scrolled back to NatalieO's post. Totally agree, it sums things up perfectly for me.

Everyone should be proud of their kids and people have every right to post what they like on their personal Facebook page.. posting about their kids getting a new belt in karate, being kind or doing a good piece of work is part of parcel of celebrating our children however some people are quite insipid and very look at me look at me on Facebook.. their posts are often very braggy and in my opinion make them look insecure... we all love our children, we should all be proud of our children but their a difference between having a proud parent moment and being a boring braggart!

My favourite braggy posts are the ones where the parent says things like "so proud of Jennifer! Another distinction in her music exam, picked to represent GB in tiddlywinks but the most important thing is that she did it all with a smile surrounded by her wonderful friends"

We KNOW THE SMILE ISN'T THE REASON YOU POSTED THIS

*HollyGibney

"It's naff as fuck. It's worth it to see the pass agg comments from fellow huns though"

I have literally never seen this. All my friends seem kind, interested and genuine when I post anything on FB. Maybe I just know nicer people*

The irony

I asked DS if it was OK for me to share it and he, his mates and his GF, as well as my other kids were all tagging me in pictures they took, so I don't think he had a problem with it.

I like seeing others children's achievements, especially if I've known them growing up.
I bet your ds has loads of wonderful things about him that you could share . It doesn't have to be the same things as everyone else . My dc are wildly different and dd1 is unconventionally brilliant . I'm sure your ds is too, in his own way .

NatalieO perfect post - entirely agree!

I have known a few braggy people on facebook, they don't just brag about their kids though, they brag about everything. They aren't close friends, because my close friends don't brag like that - or maybe it just feels like they don't because I actually care about my close friend's lives. Anyway for the braggers that I am not very close to I have turned their comments off - because their bragging is dull and mildly annoying.

In RL a friend has just posted her son’s report! Then his teacher has posted it saying that they genuinely meant everything they said - surely there is something wrong with this?

No way .

@NataliaOsipova Excellent post!

YANBU. It's so cringe worthy. One of the many reasons I don't use FB.

I agree with OP. Im not on FB but would never have posted anything about my son's achievements when he was growing up - unless it was something jokey. For example he has always been rotten at sports so when he once scored a goal at school the whole side was gobsmacked! I would possibly have posted that with a load of exclamation marks but not otherwise.

Just as I know perfectly well why I have the username here that I have but it's no business of anyone else's

Enjoy what you have. Be proud of your kids and encourage them hugely. But why feel the need to tell everyone else about it? Is the approval of others really that important?

Yep. That's the social media age we live in now. Every aspect of a child's life can be documented and plastered over social media, from conception onwards. What say has the child had in this? None.

And the nicest thing for me was seeing the post his youngest sister put up which tagged him and said "you did it XX you're finally a doctor. Well done xx love you so much". That made me cry.

I'm not a parent, though I do have a Yorkshire Terrier I am very proud of So perhaps not the right person to comment but isn't the whole point of facebook to let friends and loved ones know about achievements and things we are proud of?