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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed by parents bragging about their kids on FB

229 replies

Neffertitty · 06/07/2018 19:41

I know FB is a place where you should be able to say whatever you want to but there are a couple of parents at my DS's school who have to do a long braggy monologue about their kids acheivements and what treat they will be buying them and how proud they are.

This is not for the kids, it's to brag to other parents "Oh I am so clever producing such supremely talented and clever beings".

My DS does ok but at times struggles and it's a constant battle trying to get him through the school year. He never wins any prizes at school, is never top of the class. He feels it at prizegivings and it affects his confidence. I know there are clever kids out there and good for them but it's really tough having it shoved down your throat on FB.

I realise the answer is to block them but I just needed a rant before I do that!!

OP posts:
KTyoupigeon · 06/07/2018 22:42

My eldest DD has just received her degree mark and it was fantastic despite having MH issues and SpLD and yes I've said on FB how proud of her I am.
My youngest daughter who due to a chronic illness was able to take 2 GCSES and I'm equally as proud of her.

My youngest wasn't able to attend her prom but I was happy for my friends who posted pictures of their children and commented on their posts - yes it made me sad for my daughter but I was happy for them. I seriously think you need to re-think who you have on your fb account and perhaps block the people who you can't be happy for.

whiteroseredrose · 07/07/2018 00:55

My DC would KILL me if I put stuff like that on Facebook. I did once and was strong armed into taking it down immediately.

My DC see it as a invasion of their privacy.

fieryginger · 07/07/2018 01:07

I've come off Facebook, I was getting sick of scrolling along and, I realised, people I care about, I see to find out what's going on. Facebook became depressing. Don't miss it.

MistressDeeCee · 07/07/2018 02:50

You can snooze their page for 30 days OP, after that decide if you want to do for longer.

My cousin posts about her daughter daily, and constantly. Never ever posts about anyone or anything else. So very many photos I've never seen anything like it. I love them but it's boring so I've snoozed the page and now it's no longer all over my newsfeed

Her DD is 19 only a bit younger than my DDs. If I tried to follow them around with a camera to that level they'd tell me to get lost

thornyhousewife · 07/07/2018 03:18

I can't believe anyone still uses Facebook.

chumbawumbawumba · 07/07/2018 04:02

It's purely jealousy on your part.

Should people be banned from posting Strava achievements in case it offends someone who doesn't run? What about couples who can't conceive - maybe no mention of children?

I personally hate trigger warnings as I was hurt by a gun and trigger warnings trigger me.

beclev24 · 07/07/2018 04:34

OP- YANBU

I love seeing pictures and updates of peoples' kids on facebook- seeing waht they look like, how they are doing/ what they are up to. But braggy posts really grate. It's generally not considered socially acceptable to brag about your own achievements or those of your kids in real life apart from to close family members or friends. But somehow FB gets a let. There are actually academic studies that show that Facebook makes people unhappy because of this constant comparing ourselves to other people.

barefootcook · 07/07/2018 04:43

I'm with op. I don't like people bragging about their kids on FB. DS is not talented in anything in particular so I don't bother anyway. Very occasionally I will email a friend with a photo about something he has done but on the whole nothing is said.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 07/07/2018 05:56

I don’t mind a few genuine ‘this is what my kid has done, we’re so proud!’ Comments. I post a few myself. However, I do have some friends who are very social media focussed and they like to post very theatrical, wordy, poetic posts about their kids achievement. Photo of the headteacher’s comments on the front of the yr1 report (which was nice, but no nicer than any other kids). All their fans pile on and say how amazing it is. I find that a bit ott. No one really cares what other people’s kids got in their reports do they? In year 1?

changingphases · 07/07/2018 06:09

I don't do this but I don't mind people who do. Even if I don't post it I am actually busting with pride at my dc achievements and I get why people feel that way and want to tell the world!
If I find somebody's posts annoying I scroll past but usually I will like the post to show that I am pleased for their child too

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/07/2018 06:34

I actually find it odd that people want to brag. And annoying of course. Does it matter if someone’s child is more intelligent or less intelligent or maybe spends more time studying. The idealised life people claim to live is emotionally damaging both for the reader and for the people involved and more notably the child.

madeyemoodysmum · 07/07/2018 06:43

I don't mind if it's infrequent but it's when the same person post every little thing that does my head in.

imip · 07/07/2018 07:32

I’m kind of with you, op. I like I won a medal at sports day, here’s my first day at school, my first few steps... but quoting your child’s school report? That’s just fucking weird!

I’m concerned that ‘bragging’ on social media is setting our kids up for a life time of MH issues? We measure our success in a ‘like’ we show you children all the lovely comments they get, they kids would become petrified of getting something wrong, lest it would disappoint parents and not make FB.

My dd was head girl at primary school this year. I’m so immensely happy for her and proud of her. She’s a sensible kids with her head screwed on. But I wouldn’t post this. I send and email and pic to grandparents and aunts/uncles. I have three more dc, two of whom have ASD. They won’t be HG. It must be so soul destroying to see your parent brag about an achievement you’ll never get. I dunno, it does really concern me. I see friends plaster their daughter ‘who’s beautiful inside and out’. This poor girl is cutting herself daily, she has a myriad of issues, but her mum is sitting there bragging about her on FB in the misguided belief that it will help her. She tags her in these posts. Her reality must feel so different, poor girl...

Cousinit · 07/07/2018 07:44

I agree with you OP, the bragging posts are indeed very annoying. I just scroll past them now. I have no problem with people being proud of their kids achievements and posting about them. Most of my friends do this and I enjoy seeing them. I do so myself, mainly so family members can see them. It is perfectly possible to do this without bragging however.

JayRayDay · 07/07/2018 07:49

Isn't all the 'proud mumma' comments the reason it's known as brag book?

jumblefun2 · 07/07/2018 07:56

But I only have close friends and family on facebook.

My best friend at secondary school - lives in New Zealand, my other close friend who helped me when he was young lives in America, another dear friend who is in the states, aunts and cousins, and other people who I consider friends.

I have 87 people on my fb friends list I just checked and that is my kids, my family, DS partner's mum and dad, and the rest are people I consider to be good friends, not acquaintances.

Why should't I tell them?

HollyGibney · 07/07/2018 07:57

It's naff as fuck. It's worth it to see the pass agg comments from fellow huns though

I have literally never seen this. All my friends seem kind, interested and genuine when I post anything on FB. Maybe I just know nicer people.

JayRayDay · 07/07/2018 07:58

Being proud is different to bragging and that's where the problem lies imo. Many people, especially on fb can't work out the difference. We should all be proud and pleased for our friends and families kids. But there is something repulsive about bragging and boasting. It just makes you look like a desperate over inflated ego and places more attention on that than whatever your child has achieved.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 07/07/2018 08:02

YANBU.

Although for me it’s mostly jealousy and sadness. DS has Asperger’s and really struggles socially. Seeing prom pictures of friends laughing together in limousines has made me feel so sad that he’ll never have that experience. So yes, as happy as I try to be for my friends, I’m avoiding Facebook at the moment.

lunar1 · 07/07/2018 08:09

I'd much rather see parents being proud of their children than pictures of their food, shopping bags, crazy passive aggressive quotes and the fucking cryptic, attention seeking 'checked into x hospital' then radio silence for 8 hours.

RideSallyRide76 · 07/07/2018 08:15

I don't mind the odd post from people " proud mum here today because Phoebe got a great report" type thing. Will usually like it but not comment. I have never seen passive aggressive comments.

One mum took the biscuit last year though, following a great nursery report for her dd she shared a different quote from the report daily for two weeks. Each quote ended with #proudmummabear
I'll admit that this did get a bit grating!! Grin

Ionlylookatthepictures · 07/07/2018 08:15

I agree op. I am proud as fuck of my two dds: for their achievements and their failings. I am proud of the two strong and brilliant women they are growing up to be. Do I brag about them on Facebook? No way! I mention their achievements to close family and friends only because they are the only ones that are actually interested.

ApocalypseNowt · 07/07/2018 08:18

Being proud fine, boasting not fine. Where you think the line is between those 2 probably varies from person to person.

Also, when it comes to posting about great school reports/academic achievement I find the people who do it most on my FB feed are those that were very average or struggled a lot in school. I think it comes from a place of worry that their child might struggle like they did so excitement when that's not the case.

Ionlylookatthepictures · 07/07/2018 08:18

RideSally I got a ‘proud mama of my tribe’ from a fb friend who is well known for banging on about her perfect family on social media 😂 her husband does it too - they act like they’re marketing a flipping brand.

NotPennysBoat · 07/07/2018 08:22

Damn fucking right I am going to celebrate that on FB with the people who are supposed to be my friends on there.

This, exactly!

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