to get annoyed by parents bragging about their kids on FB

[Neffertitty]

I know FB is a place where you should be able to say whatever you want to but there are a couple of parents at my DS's school who have to do a long braggy monologue about their kids acheivements and what treat they will be buying them and how proud they are.

This is not for the kids, it's to brag to other parents "Oh I am so clever producing such supremely talented and clever beings".

My DS does ok but at times struggles and it's a constant battle trying to get him through the school year. He never wins any prizes at school, is never top of the class. He feels it at prizegivings and it affects his confidence. I know there are clever kids out there and good for them but it's really tough having it shoved down your throat on FB.

I realise the answer is to block them but I just needed a rant before I do that!!

‘I grew a doctor’ 🤢

One of the co-opted governors with whom I was on the GB, used to post screenshots of his daughter’s reports, together with a minute explanation of their elaborate reward system. I’m not at all sure she’s the full shilling, so it was a curious decision.

Op, always remember people will go on about the good on social media and won’t mention the negatives.
So little Johnny who won his race at sports day, may have failed his spellings.
Little Ava who got top marks for timetables, might be the child who’s always picking on others, but can you guess which thing her mum put on Facebook?
Little Timmy’s teacher might have told his mum he is the kindest little boy she’s ever taught, his mum might post this, but I doubt she’d mention on social media he struggles academically.
Little Olivia might be a gorgeous child model, I bet her mum would happily post her photo shoot, but skips mentioning her mega temper tantrums.
People will alway post what they want the world to see.
The same as children excel differently at things and all children have a talent for something, whether it’s sporty, academic, their charming personality and humour or their kindness.
So Personally I try to remember that when someone is having a brag, it doesn’t mean their child is any better than mine. It just means their mother has bragged about one aspect of their personality.
I must admit close to the end of year there is so much gushy vomit inducing drivel from parents, I tend to avoid social media for a little while.

As I said, boke away. Walk a mile in my shoes if I'd listened to the experts he would't be where he is today. He'd be dead.

Motherforkingshirtballs completely agree!

Hairdyedpink It doesn't bother me that DS is not top, I always say I don't care about that, don't care about his marks as long as he does his best. He has sobbed before saying "I'm not clever". It breaks my heart but we do everything we can to help and encourage him. I know he will find his thing. He is good at a couple of things and we focus on his talents but I would never post all his acheivements on FB. To me, it feels braggy.

I understand some people don't feel that way but I am entitled to my opinion.

There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your child of course, but I’m with OP on this. I find the shouting about it on Facebook a bit off-putting. If it’s just family members and close friends, fine, but when there are loads of “friends” it just seems a bit, well, vulgar. The odd post of course is absolutely fine, but then I can’t bear all the selfies and the expectation of the “oh, you look gorgeous hun” replies either.

Those people have seen my son's struggles. Have baby sat my others whilst I sat with him in surgery, again. Have picked me up when I miscarried the day after one of his surgeries and I had to leave him to go to get my own issues sorted. They knew the boy who could not talk and who was written off.

Why shouldn't I tell them when he does well?

For the record, this is the first time ever I have posted about him on Facebook and my facebook is closed down to only close friends.

I’m sorry, ohdear

I don't think I have people like that much on my fb, or maybe the algorithm hides them from my feed. But I really recognise what you say about how hard it is to get your DC through the school year. It's bloody miserable (and, before anyone jumps on me and my bad attitude causing some downward spiral, it's largely miserable BECAUSE I have used so much energy I don't have, being upbeat and positive about it all for DS).

I like the cute toddler anecdotes on fb though. If that's a form of bragging, it's one I'm very happy to put up with.

He is good at a couple of things and we focus on his talents but I would never post all his acheivements on FB. To me, it feels braggy.

Ah, maybe he wonders what he has to do to make you proud enough of him to want to brag like his friends parents do?

Not necessarily to brag, my stepmom recently post3d my 2 little brothers reports online, not to brag but to share with people who live far away like myself. And how do you know they are not proud?

It’s the way it’s written though and the personality of the person writing isn’t it?
A nice person showing pride, ok.
A wanker, bragging once again? Not so much.

Your definitely being unreasonable. I shout about my child’s achievements because I am proud of them. I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks.

There is such a thing as modesty. This has apparently been forgotten in these days of tasteless displays of triumphalism.

There is also such a thing as thoughtfulness - in this context, for those who don't do so well, despite their best efforts.

If only there were a way for family members to share that information between themselves . . .

What tosh! I ‘like’ the academic and sporty achievement posts. I ‘love’ the personal achievement posts.

(I ignore the 100% attendance posts )

I don’t know that many people on FB who brag about their kids attainment to be fair...but I have no issue at all with graduation photos, or status updates which praise how hard someone has worked towards a goal, or adapted to a change. I’d much rather read how proud someone is around effort made rather than the grade or achievement itself.

However the folk on my feed who post dross about their toddlers which attribute adult-level genius to their mundane developmental activities...they can get to feck.

I haven’t posted about GCSE or A level results, but DS1 just achieved a 1st...so yes I did post huge congrats to him because it is a significant achievement. I did however precede with proud parent post alert...

I don't mind hearing about the occasional achievement, but if they beat their personal best at Park Run EVERY week, I start to get a bit bored. I vote with my feet and no longer "like" their posts - most people would recognise that dwindling "likes" means they've gone too far, but not everybody.

This has reminded me of something that annoys the shit out of me.

When parents of reception children post on Facebook that their amazing child has been chosen to be ‘Star of the Week’ 🙄

Definitely make a fuss of your child.. tell them how proud you are etc. but don’t put it on Facebook... your child hasn’t done anything special or achieved any kind of accolade. It’s just their turn. The shittiest brat in the class will also be the Star at some point.

I know... this has got to me way more than it should.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking

I also get a tad irritated with posts that say "congratulations DC for doing x,y,z, I love you so much etc etc" when the DC doesn't even have their own Facebook account. It's expressed in the second person, so it feels cheesily voyeuristic to read it, but actually it should be in the third person, because it's fully intended for the wider audience.

I think the uncomfortable bit about it is the sense that it's the achievements rather than the person that they are proud of.

That doesn't apply to everyone saying something about their DC on Facebook, but you do get a feel for the subtle difference between those that are happy for their child and just sharing the joy, and those that feel they have some sort of personal claim on the child's achievement because they raised them. The latter is just bragging and has an unpleasant tone to it. I reckon most people are the former though.

I know of one person who has nothing nice to say to their child's face. They criticise, berate, talk down to and moan at them. But they are quite happy to gush proudly about their degree and job, and their own part in it (which is very overinflated and innaccurate), when chatting to others. It's so insincere and self-centred. Nothing to do with being happy for the child, just all about them them them and appearing impressive to outsiders.

That said, people can post whatever they want on their own FB page. Just eye-roll and move on if you think it's silly as @Sirzy said in the first post (then rant on here!).