to get annoyed by parents bragging about their kids on FB

[Neffertitty]

I know FB is a place where you should be able to say whatever you want to but there are a couple of parents at my DS's school who have to do a long braggy monologue about their kids acheivements and what treat they will be buying them and how proud they are.

This is not for the kids, it's to brag to other parents "Oh I am so clever producing such supremely talented and clever beings".

My DS does ok but at times struggles and it's a constant battle trying to get him through the school year. He never wins any prizes at school, is never top of the class. He feels it at prizegivings and it affects his confidence. I know there are clever kids out there and good for them but it's really tough having it shoved down your throat on FB.

I realise the answer is to block them but I just needed a rant before I do that!!

but don’t put it on Facebook... your child hasn’t done anything special or achieved any kind of accolade. It’s just their turn. The shittiest brat in the class will also be the Star at some point.

everybody knows.
It's still a cute photo to put, and I am glad my friends put theirs.
There are too many bitter people on MN sometimes!

@HairDyedPink

Cute photos are fine, they’re nice. The long gushing spiel about how amazing their little darling is to have been awarded such a prized trophy.. not so much.

I’m not bitter, both men be have had their turns to be ‘Stars’ and I showered them with all the ooh’s and aah’s needed, and was genuinely happy for them.

I didn’t plaster fake praise all over Facebook though 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ignore typos... ‘both mine have had their turn...’

35 facebook posts when their child got star of the week for the 5th time in the year... got a bit bloody excessive. It's a fucking plastic trophy from the party bag shite section in Tesco not the Nobel Prize. I keep that one on FB because it's so amusing the smug mummery sometimes though.

Mind you - hard to brag - my kids are fabulous... but academically one's brilliant but always in trouble at school and the other's just got the worst option for next year's class teacher so as a nice placid well-behaved kid with SEN is on a hiding to fucking failure next year... so I'm just keeping quiet and hiding the usual bragging suspects at present.

Haha, being proud of your kid is great, and in general people should be proud of this kid for doing something cool instead of being an asshat! Hearing about a kid achieving something is better than hearing about the other shit on facebook.

That being said, I usually find that parent's that constantly boast usually (not always) do it for some kind of recognition from other parents. Bit like being acknowledged for a job well done.
Give the post a 'like', don't read too much into it. You won't regret being nice.

I think parents who’ve worked hard to birth and raise their children have a right to feel proud and celebrate success. That is about achievements but can also be about achievements for the specific child. I want to know about the children of friends from other places I don’t see often. I want to know how school friends of my children are doing as adults.
We share the sad times and it’s important to celebrate success too.

You sound jealous - which is at least as unattractive as pride.

You don’t sound jealous, OP.

The long gushing spiel about how amazing their little darling is to have been awarded such a prized trophy.. not so much.

I have to admit, I don't read them I just scroll past. It really doesn't bother me!

U should try find positive aspects about ur child and celebrate them. Doesn’t have to be academic. Anything

I wonder what the children will think when they are older of their exploits being all over their parent’s Facebook.

I have a WhatsApp group that I share all the LOOK HOW AMAZING MY KIDS ARE stuff with my family on, I guess I find it a bit public to do all that on my news feed these days. Lots of people do though, it doesn’t bother me, I just scroll past.

DS was tagging me in photos he took on the day and he put the nicest post up about me on the night before his graduation so I'm guessing he doesn't have a problem with it.

OP, I'm sorry that your son struggles and that your friends' children's achievements trigger difficult feelings.

I can relate to that. But I am still always happy to see others' celebration posts.

The rest of this isn't a response to you, OP.

But I really don't want to live in a world where mothers are too cool to brag about their children. Gross. Poor kids. Let me assure you - modesty is also a display. A fucking art form in this country. So often false, as they're always sure to include not so subtle clues, or inform the village gossip so the word is guaranteed to get out.

Yes, some people are just assholes of course and I have rolled my eyes hard enough to do damage a couple of times.

But I wonder if there's also something here about women's internalised misogyny. Like how very dare we acknowledge our role in a child's achievements. Our countless hours and acts and decisions, our embarrassing mumsy mundanity, belittled by everyone. We take the blame when it goes wrong but when it goes right we better not be proud. And we better tear each other down, too. We've been well trained.

I have to say that after reading this thread, the pride I felt re my child's recent achievements is now tinged with worry that I might be the subject of ridicule for posting about it.

I'd rather be defriended.

@ohdearnotmyproblem, my post wasn’t directed at you, sounds like you’ve got plenty to be rightfully proud about! I was thinking more of my FB friends who really give lots of details about their kids and I’m sure don’t run it past them. One in particular had photos of her 11 year old in the bath this week. Covered in bubbles, but still.

Seriously, I am damn proud that my DD is 2 exams away from being a black belt and yes, I tell my friends on FB when she achieves the next step!

I will post what she manages to do in the competition she has on Sunday.

I have a friends who's son is a footballer and damn good. I ask his for his autograph in case he won't speak to me when he is famous. He gives a little giggle and blushes every time!

I have a friend who has DDs who are gymnasts, again, I like and follow their progress because I am her FRIEND! I care about her DDs.

I have another friend who is gymnsats coach, she gives progress reports on her 'children', which, while nice to see she is doing well, I don't care as much about.

Oh, another friend has children who do judo, they do well in competitions! Good to hear.

A friend who has a son who has been asked to play rugby and cricket for the county, a massive achievement. I managed to congratulate her while knowing my DS will not ever reach such great heights.

I think the problem might be that you are not really these peoples friend and do not consider them to be yours.

I brag about my children but my 3 year old has sen so it tends to be things she has relaly struggled with and has now mastered.. or something paricularily kind they have done

I agree with you OP! My DC luckily don’t struggle at school (although being ‘head down and get on’ children they can be overlooked at times), but I do get that some people are absolutely tiresome in their posts. By all means post the special achievements, but not daily updates on how amazing your DC is for doing exactly what every other child at school has done that day. There are definitely extremes!

I think remember it's not just for you. It might be their way of sharing with proud aunts and uncles etc.

I have a few people on FB who do this a lot. One they are genuinely very impressive achievements, another posts every swimming certificate and star of the week. I don't join in mostly as I feel like some people are comparing (well okay not the star of the weeks!) and not comfortable with that.
Still see far more FB brags about kindnesses and sport and music than academic. Does feel like doing well academically is less valued, or maybe it's that people feel like it's more competitive because all the kids are doing it - whereas if your child got grade 5 trombone, chances are noone else on your FB has a trombone playing kid to feel in competition with.

I bragged and beamed like no tomorrow when my dayghter got A/A*'s in her GCSEs and I'll do 5he same with her Alevel results next month. She went through a hell of a lot health wise and still came through so I'm mighty proud of her.

My ASD son will get bragged about too with whatever he does in the next three years. He'll never be like his sis but I'll still be all over fb singing his praises and I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks.

But why do it? Great, tell close friends and family, they will want to hear it. Nobody else will. It shows a rather sad neediness.

I'm conscious of the fact that before long, my kids will be on fb themselves and I don't want to put much out there on their behalf. I rarely post pics or anecdotes.

The thing that bugs the hell out of me, is when people say that their child is the most beautiful one in the world. "Look at those beautiful eyes, most stunning eyes ever", etc etc. EVERYONE thinks their child is the most beautiful one in the world, ffs.

I think it's understandable to find that annoying , anybody who is bragging ( which is different to a little bit of pride) about anything is annoying. Probably just hide their posts on FB. It's also probably an indicator of who you actually like too!

Yeah, Clawdy. Fuck those sad, needy people. Displaying their sad neediness. Let's shame them! I mean we could just be generous and kind by withholding judgement, given they are clearly sad and needy. But instead, let's emphasise that no one gives a shit.

They are proud of their kids. Others will want to share in their pride. Its their Facebook. They aren't doing anything wrong. Either be happy for all kids achievements or just unfriend them. It's a non issue

I agree, I had a couple of school mum's on my Facebook who did this regularly, it used to grate especially when my dcwas struggling against school. I deleted them, much better.

People can do what they like on their own fb page. You can unfriend them but if they asked why would you have the guts to say why? Or is it just because you can get away with it 'on screen'. Your ds does not need access to fb so its not going to affect him directly when he cannot see what other parents post. I'm sure your ds has loads of things you could post about. Every child has their own thing.